Friend tried to ditch helping me with sister's shower party?

[Livinthedream11]

I apologize, I made a confusing post because I was super emotional.
I am friends with two sisters A and B. A is my best friend, but I am also close with B.
B is getting married and I am only a wedding guest (this is already confirmed). I vented to my grandma and she was shocked I was not in the bridal party. She watched all of us grow up together and saw how close we were.
A is having a baby shower hosted at my parents place. The idea was for us to work together and get everything ready.
B is having her bach party the day before and she was asking what she could contribute and pay for. Asking if I would be in charge of the menu and stuff. She would come help 2 hours before the party. I was not invited to the party the day before the shower. I would have been working alone doing everything with B strolling in right before the party.
I love A and I am contributing quite a bit with decor and a dessert she likes. A even told me that her sister and SIL were in charge of planning everything.

I made a confusing post earlier

Why are you party planner did these sisters?!

Still confusing...

Whats the question? is B a CFer? Yes, should you tell A whats actually going on? also Yes.

Were you emotional about this or something else?

If I understood your post properly, A is your best friend, B is a good friend. You're hosting A's baby shower. B's hen is the day before so B will be too busy to help but has offered to contribute some money.

Unless the baby shower is literally tomorrow and you don't have time to do anything, just... do it yourself? Take the money from B and buy a tray of sarnies.

Sounds like you're not actually upset about noone helping you're upset B will take some credit and you have fallen out with her because she didn't make you a bridesmaid or something. I assume you're at least 20 btw. This sort of thing shouldn't be upsetting you. People have best friends and other friends, it's OK.

I'm still very confused.

B is a woman, having a bachelor (hen?) party the day before her sister's baby shower?

And you are not invited to the hen party, but are expected to be arranging the baby shower?

Just trying to get opinions.

Exactly! When we were 1st planning the shower B was supposed to come over and help.

I offered to help plan the shower, but not do it by myself.

Thought she is still coming over 2h before? It shouldn't take more than 2 hours for 2 adults to put out some food and put up some balloons or whatever people do at these things.

Just order in some food and get B to pay for it.

She will be hanging anyway. Who arranges their hen party the day before their sister's baby shower? Won't they both be exhausted?

What do you want as the outcome?

She was hoping I would do all the shopping and plan what food to serve and asked what she could bring or pay me back.

It’s still a bit confusing. Are you saying that B is having a hen party the day before the baby shower for A and therefore can’t help with it until the morning of the event? Therefore she’s asked if you can organise the menu and other activities and wanted to know what she should do and pay for?

Your issue is that B is supposed to be organising the whole thing and you’re annoyed because she didn’t ask you to be her bridesmaid, nor did she invite you to the hen party.

I think given A’s baby shower is at your parents house she is a very close friend and you were supposed to have some involvement in the event. I would just be clear about what you are happy to pick up e.g. I’ll do the decorations and provide dessert, you will need to bring x, y, z with you on the morning.

The bridesmaid issue is sort of separate from this and seems to be clouding your judgement. If you are upset about it then say you were disappointed not to be included in the bridal party, but in all honesty B has the right to ask whomever she wants to have the role of a bridesmaid.

It seems odd you aren’t invited to the hen party and that she decided to do it the day before the baby shower. Is A aware there is a shower planned or is it a surprise? Can you speak to her about any of this e.g. I’m a bit hurt that B didn’t invite me to her party, I had thought we were close enough friends for me to be included.

Why is it at your parents' house? Did you offer?

They don't sound like they like you much TBH. It's very rude that they are attending a hen party that you are not invited to.

It's when all her family is in town.

What? It's not rude for people to have other friends / better friends. OP is closest to A, but good friends with B. B probably has a closer group of friends. A is going because she's B's sister. Do you go to all your sister's friend's hen parties?

Yeah I figured that. I offered my parents house and my parents see the sisters almost like daughters. I dont think A has the full picture. Honestly told B I would do the dessert and decor, but I had plans with another friend so food is up to her.

Also awkward because A is my child Godparent.

So tell her to get a Tesco (or whatever) delivery for some food, her choice what, to arrive at your parents the night before and you can both put it out when she gets there. She can book that now it doesn't need to interfere with her hen party.

I told she can plan the menu, buy the food and figure out what to serve 20+ guests. I mentioned she disposable cutlery and drinks.
This whole situation has put a damper on my mood. My mom is an amazing hostess and has helped me with my own parties and I think my friend was banking on her jumping into action.

She needs.

They are clearly very close as B is happy to accept OP's offer of hosting a party, knows OP's parents well and has grown up with OP - as well as OP being best friend's with her sister. OK so she might not be a bridesmaid but I'm surprised that A didn't say "Oi, B, why isn't my bestie coming to the hen do?"

You need to separate the 2 issues.

A is your best friend and her baby shower is at your parents' house right?
Focus on that. I know you said B was supposed to help a bit more than she is now able to, and that's annoying, but ultimately you want A to have a great time, yes?

I can understand you must feel hurt at being on the edges of Bs upcoming wedding, but that is a different issue entirely and I don't think you should let it cloud your view of the baby shower.

Also your title sounds misleading - it suggests B was helping you as lead for the event and that she has tried to abdicate all responsibility for helping which she hasn’t.

I think you were actually jointly responsible for the baby shower given it’s at your parents house but you’re pissed off by B and the wedding stuff so you’re getting annoyed about this. Just be clear what your expectations are of B, if she pushes back just say that you thought you were working together and the poor planning over the timing of her hen party shouldn’t impact her sister’s event.

You’ve said you have a child - did you have a baby shower? If so, who organised it? If it was A that’s another good reason to lean in more to make it a nice day for her.