Son being told he smells

[TennisBallx]

My son comes home from school most days telling me children tell him he smells, he showers every single morning, clean uniform every morning, sprays deodorant/anti persistent, aftershave, body sprays, brushes teeth etc but he still tells me they say he smells, what is going on?? It’s making him super paranoid and he’s spending ages in the shower in the morning (making all my hot water run out) making himself late for school, spraying deodorant on himself for ages including his hair?! His bag?? Hes now being late for school as it’s taking so much time. Are they just being mean I don’t know what’s going? He doesn’t smell to me

I was bullied relentlessly at around similar age by girls who would say that I “smelled”. It was just bullying of the lowest form: It was absolutely awful and left me completely paranoid for a lot of my adult life. I’d actually speak to the school / his teachers OP because it is a really nasty thing to be branded with, as with me, it doesn’t sound like your son actually smells, rather he’s being bullied and they’ve latched onto something really cruel for no reason.

From what you have described he is being bullied. They have hit his weak spot and playing on it. It’s cruel and needs to be stamped on.

It maybe bullying, but it may also be down to hormonal changes if he is 12 and approaching puberty. If so, there’s not much that can be done and that smell will pass. I’m sure he won’t be the only one! That does make me sad, as it must be upsetting for him.

Sounds like classic bullying to me ..all this chasing it down ..when it seems like simple bullying and needs addressing with the school.

Could it be covert racism OP?

It sounds like bullying tbh. Does he have a genuine good friend, what do they say? DS was bullied in yr7 and the same thing happened, his classmates telling him that he stunk, wafting the air as he walked past, refusing to sit with him because 'he smelled'. He absolutely didn't smell, it was the start of bullying which eventually led to him being ostracised and isolated. Even with nose blindness, if he smelled bad enough for everyone to comment, you would know.

No-one washes the blazer daily i did my sons every half term or if it smelt whichever came first i would febreze the armpits often especially the side his bag was on

The kids are bullying him you need to speak to the school

He and his belongings might smell of your house but you might not be able to tell, you might be nose blind to it. Eg smoking or damp or poorly dried laundry? Laundry that didn't rinse or dry well can absolutely stink but you'd need to consult a trusted friend. Maybe he's using a smelly towel? Other than that I'm as baffled as you! Maybe ask his form tutor if they can shed any light on the situation?

What about his diet? Is he eating a lot of curry or garlic or fish or something particularly pungent? You wouldn't necessarily be able to smell that yourself if you are eating the same things?

Are you getting enough fresh air in your home? Most people don’t ventilate their homes nearly enough as they should - all this draft proofing to save energy is making home air stale.

Have the kids said he actually smells of BO?

It sound like he's going to absolutely reek of chemicals all that junk he's spraying all over himself. It must build up. He won't smell clean. He just needs a good proper soap, nice body moisturiser and 1 decent deodorant. It genuinely sounds like she's using am insane amount of stuff especially at 12!

Sounds like bullying to me and I would ask for a word with his class tutor

It’s most likely the perfume smell from all the products he’s using. Just get him a plain dove soap bar and roll on antiperspirant

Cats can be very stinky. When I was a teen my elderly cat became incontinent and started weeing on the furniture. The smell persisted forever and we had to throw out our sofa. I have known children whose clothes smell like cat wee - is there any way that could be true here?

Yes, that's very true. It's a very pervasive smell.

Perhaps tell him to stop spraying that shit? If nothing else, it is another reason to say he smells.

this sounds like bullying, you need to raise hell with the school OP and get this stopped ASAP - how absolutely horrible for your poor son. I would be down there talking to the teacher tomorrow to get to the bottom of this. Poor kid :(

Yep. Dove bar soap and Mitchum roll-on AP.

Wash out your washing machine.

Make sure his shirt pits/neck are pre-treated, use bio washing powder, ensure you're not using too much as that will make matters worse not better and clog the washer faster.

Make sure he is using an anti-perspirant, ideally an effective roll on/creme type one and then a spritz - no more - of whatever preferred body spray.

Overusing the sprays, clothes not properly clean (wrong washing powder, low temps, mucky machine) can lead to him smelling pretty bad as the day wears on, clothes warm up, old masked smells warm up, body sprays break down on skin and start to smell awful.

It is quite possible he is just being bullied but also having over applied every scent product possible, that he is walking around in a strong cloud of body sprays and thats what the bullies have picked up on and latched on to.

How are you drying his clothes? Before dh moved in with me he used to dry his clothes on an airer but everything used to smell musty even though it was clean. Could it be that?

Or is it that his natural smell combined with all the perfumes from the deodorants etc are mixing to create a weird smell?

Could you be noseblind to it maybe?

Maybe tell him to lay off all the perfumes?

Edited to add...give your washing machine a good clean...boil wash with a dishwasher tablet works well!

I suspect he doesn’t smell and they are just being vile especially as they’ve changed his surname to a rude word.
I would definitely speak to the school and keep checking in with your son. This kind of thing can really get on top of kids and if he doesn’t stop and he wishes to move schools I would help facilitate that quickly.
My 14 year old is a shower dodger if he can get away with it but even he doesn’t smell unless he’s being doing something sporty and then I’ll insist he has a shower…he wears clean clothes everyday and sprays lynx (sadly because it’s not my idea of a nice smell!) and no one tells him he stinks so the fact that your son is scrubbing himself every day, wears deodorant and has clean clothes means it’s pretty unlikely. As someone else has suggested get someone who doesn’t live with you to come around and surreptitiously sniff around incase you’ve gone ‘noseblind’ but it sounds like he’s being bullied.

It’s bullying. If he smelt you’d smell it . Teens do whiff after sport etc but not normally

Most people I know only wash blazers very few weeks

Sounds like it's bullying @TennisBallx

But ...

If his school shorts have any polyester or nylon in them, there could be a residual sweat smell which won't smell fresh on, but as his body heat & new sweat warms up the shirt, the polyester will smell. Pure cotton can be properly washed and cleaned but a poly-cotton mix will not. That's why poly-cotton is cheap.

Do you have pets? Like indoor cats or dogs? I can tell if someone does by their smell. Call me weird but it’s true - cat pee and just general dog smell lingers. The people I know don’t even realise.

having said that, if he really is doing all that you said he’s doing, sounds like kids are picking on him but doubt it’s because of his smell

He's being bullied, looking at your last post. He's only 12 and in secondary. It's just the beginning of hell for some kids, they get picked on again and again.

he's taken the bait and believes now he smells and they've seen him show insecurity around this and now they'll keep digging, trying to destroy his confidence. It's such a hard road for some in secondary. He's going to have to get very tough and 'grey rock' these boys. It's the only thing that works.

You have to just shrug or say nothing when they tell him he smells. It's the hardest thing in the world, but if they see a chink of weakness, they're like wolves in a pack and will fall on it and tear him to pieces. Unfortunately bullying is still rife in schools. It's so so sad.

Keep reassuring your DS and start blaming these rotten kids. Does he have any friends? If it gets worse I'd talk to the staff and ask them if there's a safe place he can go at break time and lunch time so he doesn't have to spend time around these little shits.