Son being told he smells

[TennisBallx]

My son comes home from school most days telling me children tell him he smells, he showers every single morning, clean uniform every morning, sprays deodorant/anti persistent, aftershave, body sprays, brushes teeth etc but he still tells me they say he smells, what is going on?? It’s making him super paranoid and he’s spending ages in the shower in the morning (making all my hot water run out) making himself late for school, spraying deodorant on himself for ages including his hair?! His bag?? Hes now being late for school as it’s taking so much time. Are they just being mean I don’t know what’s going? He doesn’t smell to me

@TennisBallx just going to make you aware as this happened to me when I was younger. You can clean yourself to the hills and then when your around the bullies the anxiety kicks in which then makes you sweat profusely which then causes an offensive smell. Check his anxiety levels. The brain stores trauma which the body picks up and releases involuntarily.

This is so sad. I feel for him. I would smell his shirt armpit area see what that smells like.
If he genuinely has no smell letting off then I would consider moving him school.

I suspect he doesn't smell and they're just bullying him.

At 12, my son did smell. Had to keep reminding him to scrub under his arms and take his blazer off when he was walking home in the summer. Also, make sure he is using anti-perspirant not deodorant spray. They’re not the same.

When we ended up with a ponky DS, it was the armpits on his school shirts and jumpers that were to blame.

He was clean, but by the end of the day the armpits could be quite whiffy. I treated them with vinegar and bicarb. Swapped back to biological washing powder and 40 degree washes and that was the end of it.

Definitely check that he’s washing his pits and bits properly with soap, and that his towel is washed regularly too. Lynx isn’t the best bet either as they hit puberty. Get him a proper anti perspirant and make sure it dries before he dresses.

Raising teens can be another steep learning curve!

I'd raise it with his pastoral team at school (or teacher if primary) so they can ascertain whether it's targeted bullying or a genuine issue. Regardless, the kids are being cruel about it.

Or maybe he's being bullied?

Tbh id be going to the school to ask them to get to the bottom of it. This can't go on. There could be something you've missed or there could some little twats who's currently damaging his mental health. Even if he smelled once and never again it could have stuck.

Stand up for him.

Use tea tree antibacterial soap on armpits, not shower gel. Put white vinegar on the armpits of shirts before washing them. Use a proper antibac deodorant

Do you leave his clothes / coat / bag in the kitchen where you cook? I watch reels / tiktoks of people cooking in the kitchen with washing drying in the airer a few feet away from the cooker & just think how their washing will stink.
Sometimes kids are just arseholes and say things they know are upsetting. Tell him to take no notice, give them no reaction and it will stop. They thrive off of a reaction/ response. Don't let him give it them.

That's probably the problem!

Do you also use those awful scented laundry products?

Sorry should have said, the Lynx etc is probably the problem.

Certain illnesses can make you smell. If a trusted person does say he smells, a gp visit may be worth a try.

Speak to the school; it’s bullying.

If you can't smell him then he is probably being bullied.

(Only thing id check is that his shirts when heated dont have bo as dh shorts are terrible for it. Dh found roll on much better like mitchum as most lynx only covers smell)

Yes, Mitchum is the last word in fighting body odour.

im not sure about this ‘nose blind’ suggestion. my oldest really struggles with BO poor thing and i’ve noticed it since she was about 9. however it definitely reached a peak when puberty started and has improved, shes pretty good at doing everything needed to reduce it, but Ive always been able to smell it on armpits of her clothes. luckily she has never been teased about it.
it could be the lynx just being really overpowering ?

I have teens and their polyester blazers are washed weekly - unless they are 100% wool they do smell and need laundering . Also wash ties etc. if your house is a small as you say it is, clothes being dried indoors may pick up cooking smells even if not in the kitchen. If I cook fish or a curry you can smell it for days if I don’t properly air the kitchen

Even if he does smell it’s a horrible thing to say to another child. I think it’s a form of bullying whether he does or doesn’t smell, especially if a lot of kids are saying it to him. He’s clearly becoming a bit paranoid about it if he’s using lots of different products. If you live with him and don’t think he smells then I think you need to talk to his form teacher to find out what is going on. Is he being isolated in other ways too?

I was going to ask this; does he floss? And is he drinking enough water? Dehydration has a specific bad scent. No harm packing chewing gum or mints for after lunch?

It does sound like bullying more so though; have you spoken to the school? Poor boy, what a horrible experience. 💔

It definitely could be bullying, but another possible smell I could think of is sour laundry - that sour smell when laundry hasn't dried properly. I've known people (otherwise fastidious and clean) to smell of this seemingly without realising, so I think some people are not sensitive to it. To me it is very noticeable and unpleasant. I wouldn't bully someone over it though, of course!

Yes, that could be the case. I was offering an alternative viewpoint.

If he is using a lot of products - he smells for sure. I absolutely can smell when people are using deodorants, hair products, body sprays or wash clothes with fabric conditioner.

I think he needs washing with none fragranced stuff, don’t use body spray or anything similar and then ask someone safe to smell him. However I suspect even if there is some smell, it has escalated into bulling by now.

How / where do you dry your clothes? I once had to admit to my best friend that she and her children all smelled terrible and it was because their clothes stank of damp. She lives in a cold part of the country and she would leave jeans and jumpers drying over the bath for days. She was completely oblivious to the smell, so if that's the issue with your son you may not notice it.

Bless him OP. I’d get onto what sounds like bullying in the first instance. I have a smelly teen, I can actually smell him. Hormones and puberty are difficult. The one thing that does make a difference is using good bar soap, not shower gel. Shower gel is rubbish at removing sweat but soap works really well. I use Palmolive or similar. Might be worth a try? Poor kiddo, I hope you get
to the bottom of it.

Why are we assuming the people saying that are not just horrible bullies?