Son being told he smells

[TennisBallx]

My son comes home from school most days telling me children tell him he smells, he showers every single morning, clean uniform every morning, sprays deodorant/anti persistent, aftershave, body sprays, brushes teeth etc but he still tells me they say he smells, what is going on?? It’s making him super paranoid and he’s spending ages in the shower in the morning (making all my hot water run out) making himself late for school, spraying deodorant on himself for ages including his hair?! His bag?? Hes now being late for school as it’s taking so much time. Are they just being mean I don’t know what’s going? He doesn’t smell to me

@TennisBallx could it be his layering up
on everything that smells? He doesn’t need lynx if he’s using roll on and deodorant and he needs a aftershave that compliments his sprays. My son’s ten and he’ll shower moisturise roll on, lightly spray and then before leaving the house he does two pumps of aftershave. Sometimes he doesn’t even use the aftershave We’ve got two dogs he’s never been told he smells it might be it’s overwhelming with all the different scents at once. But also agree to pop and email to the teacher just so they are aware.

Assuming you find out it's just bullying, to make it up to him, buy him a REALLY nice proper man's aftershave. Issay Miyake for men and L'Egoiste by Chanel are amazing, imo. I know of them because a couple of ex-boyfriends wore them. Then he'll smell way better than anyone at school!

Can I just say, as well, that 30 degree washes have a lot to answer for.

My athlete's foot didn't go away until I went back to washing socks at 40.

My first thought was bullying. Does he have a good friend, could he ask the friend what everyone means?

Could it be stale shoes? My shoes got soaked once and didn’t dry properly and absolutely reeked.

It’s an interesting answer as it’s not a no he does not, the answer should be he either does or he doesn’t,

are you drying his clothes in a cold unventilated home?

If he doesn't whiff to you (when coming back from school) with school clothes still on, you need to ask someone outside your home to give him a sniff. Make sure to check his breathe too. It might be the cat you have become immune to - my sisters house stinks of cats.

If the other person can't smell anything either ask to speak to the school about bullying (also ask the school to give him smell). Tell him to stick to one effective deodorant and ditch the rest.

It sounds like he is the target of bullying. I once got tarred with ‘she doesn’t wash her hands after the loo’ because I once tried to go to the toilet but this girl and her friend kept looking over the top of the cubicle in the school loos so I ran out without washing my hands and this followed me around for a year or so. It was devastating. Sorry your son is going through something similar. It’s awful. Check he doesn’t actually smell and then help him fight back, take it further if you have to. It’s bullying.

If all clothes are washed in 40 degree wash and yes showering using soap and deodorant then he should not smell. But what about his bag, shoes, coat?

Laundry cleanser in the wash and then fully dried.
Change clothes esp shirts everyday which are washed and clean
Imperial bath soap
Proper deodorant

If after that it still goes then he is being bullied and you may want to involve the school.

It is bullying even if he does smell, if their intention is to be horrible and upset him and they keep saying it every day.

Ask someone to come round to your house to have a discreet sniff around and time it to when he will arrive home. Make sure they know you do not want politeness! You want and need the honest truth about both house and people.

If you’re choking by the amount of Lynx then tell him to stop spraying it. It’s a smell far worse than BO. Even teenage boy BO.

Does he have any friends at school? Do they keep him at a literal distance? Or happy to stand right next to him sharing a TikTok?

Approach it as bullying.

Ask school staff if he smells.

Explain the bullying in writing.

And start looking for a new school. Too many parents persist too long. If your school sorts it quickly - good. If not - rescue him.

This is bullying, whether he smells a bit or not, it isn't OK for 12 year olds to keep saying it to him. For all they know he could be homeless. I think you need to contact the school.

He probably doesn't smell. This is just mean children making up something to bully your DS. Hugs, OP. Hugs to your son, too.

He cannot possibly smell badly with showers, clean clothes and deodorant!

For subtler scents, make him shave his armpits, because the hair can capture smells at times and subtle noses may get that.
Check your washing machine, shoes (those can stink, particularly if they get wet), that your cooking does not affect the drying clothes.
But, it can be bullying. Have him sniffed by someone you trust, including coat, shoes and backpack. If nothing, consider bullying and report to school.
Other thing is that there are some scents that can indicate metabolic issues or cavities. But usually people who can sniff those, and there are some about, they tell you straight and privately.
I have the feeling this is bullying OP.

Oh stop it, the OP has been clear and you are nitpicking.

She doesn't think there is a smell but is not wishing to rule it out in case she's wrong.

I wonder if you are a smoking family? The smell wafts back into the house.

He doesn't smell, they are just bullying. He could just say "you smell too. I just keep my mouth shut about it like a normal human"

School bag? A leaked milkshake or forgotten rotting sandwich can reek to high heaven and is noticed when bag is being lugged around school.

I think OP would notice if her son's bag smelled of sour milk, that stinks.

And no, it isn't normal to wash blazers on a daily basis. I was my DS's weekly on a 40 wash.

I would ask for honest feedback from a trusted friend. If they say there is no smell then raise it with the school, kids can be mean.

I don't think he smells. As other posters have said, he's being bullied. Tell the school. And if that doesn't work, move schools. My son was relentlessly bullied at school and they did nothing. He didn't reach his potential because of it. Don't let this happen to your boy 💐

Your son is lucky to have such a caring mum.
I very much doubt your son smells. Your boy is being bullied for no other reason that that’s what bullies do. They make things up.
please email the school to ensure there is a paper-trail.
If school is not pro-active please move him to a different school. Poor chap. I hope things soon improve for him.

I think you would know if he did actually smell. My 16year old son smells somethimes, I tell him to go for a shower when I notice it. Its not often though

I feel so sorry for your son and you. It must be a worry. It does sound as if this is bullying.

You say it's not food smell, which is good.

Saying that, food smells can be very strong and not always noticed by the people living amongst them. I have to say - without judging as I love the cuisine - Indian food has a way of really staying in clothes or homes. My son has many Indian friends and they do sometimes 'smell' (not an unpleasant smell as such but strong smell of Indian spices which can be off putting).

Could it be that he is using too many clashing products at one time, @TennisBallx?

I used to volunteer in my son’s all boys grammar school, and in the summer months, the combined smell of BO and various body sprays was so thick you could practically slice it.