Should I take my seven-year-old to a work colleague's funeral?

[Runnermumof2]

Do I bring my 7 year old to work mate's funeral ?
One of my work colleagues unexpectedly passed away recently and their funeral is next week. It's the school holidays and I don't have any family nearby to help with childcare. I have a toddler who I have booked in for an extra day at nursery for the funeral. But I'm stumped as to what to do with my 7 year old.
I won't be able to put her in a day club and pick her up in time. The funeral is at 3pm and I need to rush back to the nursery before they close to get my toddler, leaving no time to collect my older child from a club.
Do you think it would be appropriate for me to bring her with me ?
She is a mature 7 year old and has attended a couple of family funerals before, but that's because she was direct family. This is a colleague that she has never known or met.
Would it be inappropriate?
Any other suggestions of what I might be able to do ?

I would try to arrange a play date for her. Message a few classmates and see if anyone can help. You can offer to reciprocate another time.

Yes it’s inappropriate to take a child to a funeral of a work colleague that is nothing to do with her. You’ve tried your best and it just hasn’t worked out. I’d say to the people at work that you can’t find childcare.

I'd take her. Go, pay your respects, it will mean a lot to the family, even if you say you cant stay long x

If you cant arrange a playdate, would the nursery accept her for a few hours? Perhaps she could organise some crafts for the younger ones as a one off?

No, I don’t think that’s appropriate. Sadly, you’re not able to attend the funeral.

Completely inappropriate IMO.

It's a playdate or you're not able to attend.

I wouldn’t take her to the funeral. Arrange a play date. I’m sure someone would be willing to help in the circumstances

I wouldn't take her as I feel it's inappropriate when it isn't someone she was close to. Are they offering a livestream where you can join it virtually?

If not I would ask any friends' parents if she could come round for a few hours.

We organised and held my mum's funeral a couple of months ago. I wouldn't have been offended but would have found it very odd if any of her work colleagues brought their children unless they were babies.

It’s not appropriate. I think from the pov of the grieving family, having a child they don’t know there while they are in their grief would be unsettling.
Since this person is a work colleague, do you really need to go to the funeral? (Appreciate there are professions where this would be more usual than in corporate life, just asking the question.)

No.

No, it’s not appropriate. Send your regards or find childcare.

I wouldn't, I feel like kids soak up all that sadness

Do you have a class WhatsApp for your DD? If so, put a shout out on there and ask for help. One of the mums may well be home that day and may be happy to help you out. I would’ve and did in similar circumstances.

Have you not got anyone you can ask? School mum friend? There will be holiday clubs open until 5/6pm.

Not appropriate, ask one of your friends or a schoolmate, and offer to return the favour on another day.

Absolutely not appropriate.

I agree with this
I don’t think it’s appropriate at all.

It’s a bit of an assumption to say it will mean a lot to the family.

Here in Ireland I don’t think this would be seen as unusual or inappropriate. But due the of the child (in terms of boredom etc), if a play date is an option, I would do that.

Sorry but I don't think you should do this.

No. You don't bring in your 7 yo. If not able to sort child care don't attend and send the family a letter.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all, death is a part of life and it's important to normalise it. My only concern was whether she'd be bored/disruptive. My 7 year old would be okay but others perhaps not.

I think it would be very reasonable to see if anyone could help you out. I am sure lots of people, even those without kids or who don't normally look after kids would be happy to help. That's the sort of thing where my work wouldn't bat an eyelid if I needed to look after a friend's kid, either by knocking off early and making the hours up, plonking said 7 year old in front of a film with a bowl of popcorn, or some combination of the two.

Post on class WhatsApp. Hard if you’re not used to asking for help but I bet 100% that at least two or three will immediately offer to have your kiddo for an hour or two. I would if I was able to and I know probably 20% of my class WhatsApp people would even if it wasn’t someone they knew or their kid was friends with.

I agree with PP that kids absorb the sadness from a funeral, it’s a big deal and should be, and you deserve to mourn your friend properly.