Oh Jesus. Just agreed to go for #3

[Thowaway]

As the title says really.

We’ve been back and forth for a year over it and have just decided to go 3 cycles of ‘try and see’ and DH will get the snip after if no joy.

It’s our last horrah… I’m 36 and he’s 40. Two DC, a DD age 5 and a DS age 3.

After all the analysis I’m feeling ready but any advice welcome!

We are also very aware it might not happen at our ages so trying to stay relaxed..

It’s an unusual strategy… actively try to conceive very briefly, and then permanently remove the option altogether. Do you want another baby?

I hope things work out for you however it is that you are hoping they will.

Yes it is an little odd - 3 cycles is not a lot for most people, especially now you are 4 years older than when you last conceived. Why would you not try and see for a longer period before deciding definitely not to?

You already have two children so you know you're fertile. Therefore your chances of conceiving are higher than the average woman your age. I got pregnant for the first time on the first cycle trying at 36. Only go for number 3 if it's what you want, because it might be really easy to get pregnant, even if you're thinking age will make it tricky.

You don't sound very keen

What’s with the weird all or nothing Russian roulette? Do you want a baby or not?

I agree it sounds really odd. Do you not actually want a third?

you are in no-way old to be having a baby.

At your ages?! You’re young!

Good luck!

However I agree with the others. Why limit yourself to 3? It took me 9 months to get pregnant the second time. Tracking ovulation with sticks helped.

Young are you serious it will be a geriatric pregnancy

I wouldn’t be having another child with this attitude.

Outdated term and unnecessary comment. Maybe go to bed, it seems you’re rude when you’re tired.

I was replying to someone who is saying 36 and 40 is young to have a baby. No it is not that is a fact nothing rude about it.

I know who you were replying to and yes it is an outdated term. I know plenty of people who’ve had babies at 36 and older and have never been referred to as geriatric mothers because it is an outdated term. No decent medical professional would use it now because it’s considered offensive.

So are you mad at the term geriatric or are you mad because you think 36 and 40 is young to have a baby.

Ive just googled it and its changed from geriatric to advance maternal age 🤣🤣🤣 why do the nhs change these terms to worse ones 🙈

You don't have to have a baby if you don't want one. This is so strange.

In @youalrightdefense - the term was used until relatively recently.

It seems a bit weird to only try 3 cycles, are you absolutely sure this is what you want OP? Is your husband absolutely on board with the snip - or is he the one driving this hoping you'll change your mind in 3 months if nothing has happened?

I got pregnant first time at 36 (and 38 and 40) so I'd advise don't assume it will take any time at all if you have any doubts!

How offensive. Many women have children in their mid thirties or later. Unfortunately the NHS calls thrm that but no one else thinks that to be true.

You don’t sound too sure at all. Also confused about whether you actually want another baby and whether taking such a weird approach to it is a sign of whether this is what you want.

So you went back and forth for a year deciding, and then will give it a quick whizz and then not risk any more?

Not that committed.

And yes, doesnt matter what the old or new phrase is (they mean the same), by the time pregnancy occurs, its no walk in the park later in life.

I can kind of understand the weirdness of wanting certainty like that - did you struggle to conceive the other times?

I have tubal infertility and was relieved to be able to stop trying naturally when that was confirmed. I had found all the fruitless intercourse and monthly disappointment very wearing and can understand someone wanting to set a limit then draw a line under it and move on.

Our third was conceived at our first attempt,ovulation kits were not a thing.I was 36.
Have just had an amazing night out with him and his partner watching ABBA voyager .We had the best evening.

36 isn't that old Imho. Sounds like you are not totally on board with this decision if you are only trying for such a very short time. Maybe rethink your choice before going ahead.

You don’t seem excited this should be an amazing thing. I have 3! It’s not something to be feared if you want 3 kids