What's the funniest thing your DC said today?

[malaleche]

DD1 3.5 yo:
If you don't give me another biscuit I won't eat this one!
Eh?!

what are eyebrows for?

"I be good in school so I don't be sent to headmaster" [said in a really shouty tone]

"Well then, I'm going to start to call the headmaster if you don't behave at home"

"Then I suppose I'm going to have to behave at home... but I'm warning you... it's going to be really really hard for me to be good!" [At this we both burst out laughing, as she was so honest!]

she is 5.

DS1(2) to 8 month pregnant aunt - 'aaaw baby in tummy'

then to 65 year old plump granny ' awww baby in tummy too'

DS's were arguing over a toy,
My brother said "DS1 let DS2 have a look at the toy"
DS1 "I don't want to share, he never shares with me"
DB "He shared his chicken pox with you"
DS1 "Well, I didn't want that..."
was v funny at the time!

Not today but recently after his guitar lesson (in which he played Teen Spirit) ds1 asked why Nirvana didn't carry on after Kurt's death when The Wiggles have now Gregg has left!

ds (aged 2) is at "copy everything" stage.

All from this morning:

"oh [cat's name] get a GRIP"
"come ON daddy"
"that's rubbish that is"

..and there was me thinking I had been in quite a good mood today! oops

Ds1 (6) heard dh talking about the film 2 fast 2 furious when it was on tv last week. Being rather car obsessed at the moment he was suddenly desperate to watch too far serious! Needless to say we didnt let him.

"I want to be purple"

(DS aged 2, he was really upset that he can't have purple skin)

DS1 (4) is it Easter holiday in a fork-knife?

DD (nearly 4)... fell over in playground, bleeding knee which for the first time ever didn't send her into hysterics... Ran round park for 20 mins after knee issue.

Car on the way home

"I hurtin so much! I can't walk anywhere ever ever ever again!"

The kid will have an oscar before she's 12!

DS - aged 5 - said rather plaintively in the swimming pool the other day "Mummy I really am trying to swim but gravity definitely isn't helping"

Message withdrawn

3yo at shops.

"Shall we go up the alligator???"

Does yesterday count? Tucking dd into bed, she started to cry, ?I don?t want you to die, Mummy?. I gave her a big kiss and cuddle, and said that while everyone has to die one day, I want to be around for a long time (I?m very healthy and know of no impending doom). ?Now, Mummy and Daddy are very old, aren?t we? And yet, our Mummies and Daddies, your Grans and Papas, are still alive, so I'll probably live as long as them. I want to be here to see you go through school, go to university , I?ll buy you a smart suit when you get your first job. I want to be there when you learn to drive your car. And maybe, one day, you will meet someone you really want to marry, and I?ll be there at your wedding. And maybe, I?ll even be there when you have your own babies, just like Gran.? (SOB)

From the hall, ds (7), said, ?Sis, that?s very nice to be worried about Mum, but there comes a time when you?ve got to stand on your own two feet?.

She's five years old.

DS2 just marched into the school office with his acceptance letter to start there in September and very confidently said to the headmistress, "Thank you, I would love to come to your school in September"
Then he hid under my coat

dd 4 years, said , " Mummy, where does water come from?" I replied and asked her "where do you think water comes from?"
" well Mummy, if milk comes from a cow, then water must come from a pig!!!"

ChippyMinton - awwww!

my dd-6 came out of school asking for one of mummys big dresses to wear on red nose day.im size 6.

Ds3 (aged 4) trying to remember a far off place he had been told about mentioned that London was a long way away. It then turned out the place he had been trying to think of was Jupiter! Next question: "Is London as far away as Jupiter?" and later, "When you got on the train Mummy, were you going to Jupiter?"

dd3 (10 months) shouted 'Hoodo!' when she saw the cat

(the cat is called Mildred btw)

DD1 commenting on her little sister (2.4)trying to count 'ah mummy its so sweet she's trying to count in a chronological order and keeps getting it wrong' - she's 5!