What's the funniest thing your DC said today?

[malaleche]

DD1 3.5 yo:
If you don't give me another biscuit I won't eat this one!
Eh?!

[Tortington]

dd(14)"mmmmmmmmmmmmmparsnip"

[MoosMa]

DD1 (18 months) picked up the electric breast pump from the draining board, put it to her chest and said "er er er"

I said "Silly Daddy" the other day, today I said "Let's ring Daddy" to which she replied "Seee Dada" with a very serious shake of the head.

[Smithagain]

DD1, aged 4.5, came home from school chanting about "London 2012".

Mummy: "You've been hearing about London 2012, have you?"

DD1: "Yes, there are going to be LOTS of toys!"

I guess Games and toys are nearly the same thing ...!

[squimlet]

mummy can I have some lipdick

you can just imagine my stunned face;
pardon darling

some lipdick mummy like you


and as the penny dropped:

Oh you mean lipstick darling

[Notquitegrownup]

Brill thread.

Not funny, but -

DS2 - last night I dreamed I was at Grandma's.
Me - Mmmm.
DS2 - What was that glass things with seatbelts?
Me - I don't know darling, I can't come with you in your dreams.
DS2 - (indignantly) Yes, you were! You were playing cricket with ds1, and wearing your red jumper!
Me - Errrrrrrr

So how do I explain that one??!

[NeuroticMum]

Ds,aged 3 wouldn't drink his milk at mils house, mil said to him that if he didnt drink it Mummy would to which he replied "No Mummy only drinks wine!"

[Twinmummyx2]

Luke told me today that he hurt his 'swear finger' at school ......i hope he didn't tell the teacher that......

[J20BABYLOVESCHOCOLATEEGGS]

awww your all making me look forward to having my baby now, i forgot how cute they where when they're little

[IamBlossom]

Kezza that's so funny, DS1 is obsessed with his measuring tape at the moment - he measured me today and I am 40 minutes!!

[KezzaG]

ds 2.5:

Im going to measure you mummy

mmm half past 3

and while crying because I lifted him into the car instead of letting him climb in:

mummy youve ruined my life

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Oh and how could I forget ...

"Look at that fat lady's big tummy"

[wrinklytum]

Was walking around the local art gallery with ds age 3(they have a nice childrens bit with lots of things for kids to do and a decent cafe,I am not being poncy).Anyway he was walking past a picture of curving sand dunes when he suddenly declared at the top of his voice "Mummy,that looks like a bum!!!".Cue giggles from the woman stood nearby and tuts from a couple of disapproving pensioners.Redfaced mummy quickly walks away,trying desperately not to laugh.

[J20BABYLOVESCHOCOLATEEGGS]

whilst stomping up the stairs, 'MUM, YOU ARE REALLY MAKING MY LOSE MY TEMPER!'

throws herself on the top stair saying 'oh i bring it all on myself coz i am naughty'

sneaks downstairs after 5 minutes 'i'm sorry mummy, {{deep breaths and sobbing}} do you forgive me?'

bless, drama queen

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

"Mind you mummy, I don't actually like peas"

She's 3

[TheArmadillo]

ds (2.5) is not the best boy in the world apparently he's the best boy in the monkey

According to him its hilarious

[NannyL]

Completely randomly....

"little red tractor is a hero, isnt he?"

from W aged 4!

lamo

[LilyLoo]

Ds 4 'god came into school today'

The local priest !

[collision]

DS (2.5) turned to a lady in the Halifax Building Society and asked her, 'Am I in Bracknell?'!!!!

He was but she was laughing so much.

When DH went to the loo for a wee, ds followed him and patted his head and said 'Well done for doing a wee Daddy!'

[thethirdwisemonkey]

brilliant thread, my mum was at our house yesterday and she gave ds an apple and he said, good boy grandma

[MamaG]

DS to me this morning

"look at Daddy's big cock"

















clock, obv

[aDad]

dd1 (3) sitting on loo:

This poo poo is very very late!

[NorksBride]

DD (5) returns from school during which the Reception class has visited the local hospitals A&E.

DD says proudly "Look, my arm is in a sling".
DS (3) replies "I've got an ear".

?!?

[paulaplumpbottom]

My DD asked me whenever it was her turn to use the computer if could we please find Kidsnet

[carwillin]

I overheard a conversation between my ds (2.8) and dh in the toilet which made me wonder if it was a compliment or not?

ds: Daddy got a big willy,
dh: That's right son, [chuffed daddy]
ds: XXX got a little willy,
dh: Yes son, so what has Mummy got?
ds: A king kong!

[Dragoninawagon]

DD playing with her tea set giving me a cup of tea. When i said mummy doesn't want any more tea now she replied go on mummy don't be shy have one more lol