What's the funniest thing your DC said today?

[malaleche]

DD1 3.5 yo:
If you don't give me another biscuit I won't eat this one!
Eh?!

on talking about his brother my 14 yo shouted "xxxx likes bum fun"

i litereally pmsl. its so unlike him.

Reading her school book last night, DD came across the word "budgies". She said "If there was only one would it be a budge"

Drove OH to the airport for business trip - took my car with carseat, he decided to drive us there 'as it'll be quicker' - grr - got into the driver's seat, dd (2) suddenly starts wagging her finger at him from the back like a little old lady 'no, daddy, no, daddy, mummy's car! Mummy's car!'

Well, it made us laugh...

Lovecat, I can just imagine!

Our dd insists that our various remote controls belong to different members of the family. The tv one is Daddy's because it's biggest, the dvd is mine, the video is hers and the digibox is the baby's.
She loves handing them out to the relevant person so they are never all together when you want to use them

A few days ago dd, almost 6, announced

"I'm just going to chill out and re-think my life"

a friend's little boy aged 3 yesterday "-tut- if you MADE IT UP, kitbit, it´s not a PROPER story"

eh?

Kitbit, that reminds me of my telly addict nephew at the same age: 'I didn't know there were any toys that aren't from a tv programme.'

DS (3) on excavating his ear.

"Ooh look I got a wak out of it".

We were at a pet shop yesterday and a lady came in with her small dog... DD petted the dog.. the lady said "we've come to buy some chews" DD was beside her self "SHOES.. Your going to buy your dog some SHOES! I was pmsl..
remind me to get DD's hearing tested!

DD playing with her tea set giving me a cup of tea. When i said mummy doesn't want any more tea now she replied go on mummy don't be shy have one more lol

I overheard a conversation between my ds (2.8) and dh in the toilet which made me wonder if it was a compliment or not?

ds: Daddy got a big willy,
dh: That's right son, [chuffed daddy]
ds: XXX got a little willy,
dh: Yes son, so what has Mummy got?
ds: A king kong!

My DD asked me whenever it was her turn to use the computer if could we please find Kidsnet

DD (5) returns from school during which the Reception class has visited the local hospitals A&E.

DD says proudly "Look, my arm is in a sling".
DS (3) replies "I've got an ear".

?!?

dd1 (3) sitting on loo:

This poo poo is very very late!

DS to me this morning

"look at Daddy's big cock"

clock, obv

brilliant thread, my mum was at our house yesterday and she gave ds an apple and he said, good boy grandma

DS (2.5) turned to a lady in the Halifax Building Society and asked her, 'Am I in Bracknell?'!!!!

He was but she was laughing so much.

When DH went to the loo for a wee, ds followed him and patted his head and said 'Well done for doing a wee Daddy!'

Ds 4 'god came into school today'

The local priest !

Completely randomly....

"little red tractor is a hero, isnt he?"

from W aged 4!

lamo

ds (2.5) is not the best boy in the world apparently he's the best boy in the monkey

According to him its hilarious

"Mind you mummy, I don't actually like peas"

She's 3

whilst stomping up the stairs, 'MUM, YOU ARE REALLY MAKING MY LOSE MY TEMPER!'

throws herself on the top stair saying 'oh i bring it all on myself coz i am naughty'

sneaks downstairs after 5 minutes 'i'm sorry mummy, {{deep breaths and sobbing}} do you forgive me?'

bless, drama queen

Was walking around the local art gallery with ds age 3(they have a nice childrens bit with lots of things for kids to do and a decent cafe,I am not being poncy).Anyway he was walking past a picture of curving sand dunes when he suddenly declared at the top of his voice "Mummy,that looks like a bum!!!".Cue giggles from the woman stood nearby and tuts from a couple of disapproving pensioners.Redfaced mummy quickly walks away,trying desperately not to laugh.

Oh and how could I forget ...

"Look at that fat lady's big tummy"

ds 2.5:

Im going to measure you mummy

mmm half past 3

and while crying because I lifted him into the car instead of letting him climb in:

mummy youve ruined my life