Those 'Firsts' you don't write in the baby book. . .

[FranknCock]

First steps, first words, first haircuts, great baby book fodder.

Today, DS (14mo) had another first that I won't write in the book:

In Mothercare, took DS out of pushchair to try something on him. He started walking a month ago and now wants to walk all the time, so I let him stay out and toddle (wasn't busy in there). Turned my head for a few seconds to look at something, looked back and he was gone!

Cue mad dash around area in a wild panic, mind thinking the worst, 'there's no one in here, how could he have been taken?'. After an eternity (15 seconds), spotted his arse sticking out from under a clothing rack where he was hiding, not two feet from where I'd been.

So, first time lost in a shop: 21 October 2010

And I can't remember the exact date, but we had a 'First shit in the bath' a few months ago.

Other 'Firsts' you'd like to forget? Confess them here!

[FranknCock]

Partial - the worst part was in that 15 seconds of looking for him, I'd thought of Jamie Bulger, felt murderous towards the person who'd potentially taken DS, then decided I'd kill myself if I'd allowed it to happen. I'm sure that level of adrenaline can't be good!

On a lighter note, DS had his first major public tantrum at Rhyme Time recently. Complete with lying on the floor, kicking, and screaming. Ahh, proud moments.

[sethstarkaddersmummyreturns]

first time they pull the whole packet of biscuits off the table and sit there surrounded by biscuits munching ecstatically.

DS2 did it the other day (12 months).
DS1 was nearly two, but when he did it it was our Christmas tin of chocolate biscuits.

[kveta]

CMOT - a dark side baby book is a great idea :o

First major tantrum in public with DS was a few months ago - went to put him back in his pushchair in the park and he threw such a wobbly. I almost had to punch him in the stomach to fold him into the pushchair as he went ironing board stiff and just SCREAMED.

First time he hit me in anger - last week (he's nearly 13 months).

First aquatic turd was in the Czech Republic at the in-laws - DS just stood there, grunting, and laid a cable in his bubble bath. DH panicked beautifully :o

First nipple biting incident with teeth is also one I'd dearly love to forget (ouch!)

[Sariska]

First (and, I hope, only) time they stick a finger into their wee-filled potty and then put said finger into their mouth.

[CMOTdibbler]

After consideration, I'd also like to add

the first time they discover their foreskin and what can be done with it

first discovery of the sudocreme pot

first explosive poo leaking onto adult

first time they say something to a stranger that makes you want to sink into the ground

[CrystalQueen]

First time you drop them on the ground (my foot got tangled in the seatbelt when getting DD out of her carseat, I tripped and she hit the pavement).

First time they stick their finger up their nose, then lick their finger. Mmm.

I remember the first time I got poo-ed on very well.

[BornToFolk]

Another potty training related first today. First time sprinting along the road towards home carrying a child saying "I need a wee!". Made me feel like a proper mum, that one!

[Miggsie]

First time I did my jumping exercise and didn't wee myself

[EauRouge]

First time I dropped something on the floor and DD said 'bugger'

First time she yanked my top down in the supermarket and showed off my revolting nursing bra to the whole aisle.

First time I smacked her head on the door frame whilst carrying her around.

[FranknCock]

I fear DS's first swear word won't be far off. Riding around in the car with me, he hears the term 'cuntchops' all too regularly

[roslily]

First poo in the bath- the one night dh was away and not doing bath time.

First time he I forgot to strap him in launched himself out of pushchair in mothercare

First time he eat some ice cream- the screwed up face of coldness, followed by joy at the taste!

[MrsColumbo]

FranknCock - PMSL at your post! Best insult I've ever heard
First time your child points to someone in a wheelchair/ has a noticeable scar or birthmark and asks WHY, repeatedly...

[WillYouDoTheDamnFanjo]

Different kind of first poo - first poo sans nappy

DD was toddling around the garden, nappy off, aged about 18 months one summer, when she started to have a poo. She reached down for a feel, blanched, and then hurried towards me whimpering with fear, arms spread wide and a poo half-in, half-out.

I think she thought she was losing a vital organ...

[MrsMc82]

Fist time DS (9mo today) did a bit of sick whilst his hand was in his mouth then wiped his sicky hand over my cheek and mouth was today........ I love him! :o

[moajab]

Even worse Sariska in my opinion - the first and thank goodness so far only time they stick their fingers into someone else's wee filled potty and then suck on them....

[sparkleshine]

First time he projectile vomited in my mouth [tasty emoticon] at 3 mths

First time I forgot to take his changing bag out with me and he just happened to do a huuuge sloppy poo which leaked everywhere.

My friends first was having her DD ( 2yrs) shout 'poo that smells mummy') as loud as she could when in Manchesters Trafford centre toilets.

[onceamai]

First broken bone
First detention
First swear word
First ruptured ear drum
First snog

[PlentyOfPockets]

first earwax
first bogie
first time sick in a pub (3 weeks old)

When they're teens you get to celebrate:

first wank-stained pants (boys)
first leg-hair encrusted bath (girls)
first hair dye disaster
first time they reek of BO

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

First time they fall down the entire stairs tumbling like a rag doll

First time they cover themselves and anything around them with Sudocrem.

And of course first visit to the Chinese Buffet.

[domesticsluttery]

I can still remember the first time that I cut my child's nails and drew blood. It was September 22nd 2002. That is how much is stuck in my mind

[PutTheKettleOn]

First time they shit their pants - 8am this morning. "muuummmeeeeee I've done a poo in my pants!" is not what you want to hear sat on the loo at 8am on the very first day of potty training!

< NB - when potty training buy v cheap pants from asda, do not let DD choose her own expensive M&S Charlie and Lola pants! >

[EvilAllenPoe]

first time they bite a child outside family.

first swearword (DD already goes about saying 'God'ssake')

first dog-ate-sudocrem disaster (woken at 4am to sound of dog being merrily sick all over lounge. Thank god for carpet tiles..)

[WingDad]

First sweetie-tasting session - DS2 stuffing Jelly Tots in DS3's mouth when he was just 3 months old. Bless him, he didn't want to let go of them as the wife pulled them out of his mouth

First PII here too - I was throwing DS2 up and down in the air when he was about 5 months and I threw him a little bit too hard and....um, well.....his head made contact with the ceiling I still caught him though you'll be glad to hear!

First broken furniture - "Daddy, we broked the lamp, don't tell Mummy." says it all really.

First broken bone - DS1 at 7. Swings are dangerous things!

And a few from more recent times:

First detention.
First time being called into school for bad behaviour.
First time we completely lose contact with DS1 - His mobile was "dead" and he wasn't near a phone...apparently

I do remember many of the others you've mentioned!

[Curlybrunette]

I remember wanting to die the day ds1 (4) announced loudly after a dwarf walked past "oh mummy, look at that funny little man, why on earth is he so small" Awful.

[laweaselmys]

First swear word was 'uck' 'uck' here. Thank god she can't say F. (I'd just smacked my head on a bookshelf)

First poo on your lap.

First poo spread around the cot, bedding, walls.

First time they break a tech item by sucking on it. (Car unlocker widget thing. Followed by my phone.)