Those 'Firsts' you don't write in the baby book. . .

[FranknCock]

First steps, first words, first haircuts, great baby book fodder.

Today, DS (14mo) had another first that I won't write in the book:

In Mothercare, took DS out of pushchair to try something on him. He started walking a month ago and now wants to walk all the time, so I let him stay out and toddle (wasn't busy in there). Turned my head for a few seconds to look at something, looked back and he was gone!

Cue mad dash around area in a wild panic, mind thinking the worst, 'there's no one in here, how could he have been taken?'. After an eternity (15 seconds), spotted his arse sticking out from under a clothing rack where he was hiding, not two feet from where I'd been.

So, first time lost in a shop: 21 October 2010

And I can't remember the exact date, but we had a 'First shit in the bath' a few months ago.

Other 'Firsts' you'd like to forget? Confess them here!

[dementedma]

lmao - all of these, but the ones that stand out most are first time child goes "missing" - will never forget the blind terror of that one - first ambulance ride to hospital - likewise -, first poo which come up and out of neck of Babygro, first plaster cast, first crutches, first set of traintrack braces, first glimpse of pubes! and recently, first finding of teensy wee vibrator thingy under DD1s pillow
Still haven't got over that one!

[NoMoreChocBiscuits]

First time DS found the pot of sudcream.

DH's first was having the pushchair roll out of the train onto the platform between when stopped at a station (he's sooo lucky DS wasn't in it at the time)

The first time I made the mistake of putting blankie in the washing machine right before nap time Because of this my DS climbed out of cot for the first time at just over a year old and had to go in the bed at about 18 months old because he kept getting out.

[BoffinMum]

First time stuck half in and half out of cat flap.

[BoffinMum]

First time you drive them somewhere and then realise on arrival you never strapped them in.

[poobumfartbollocks]

First time they crash the car.

I know its not a baby book thing but still

[BoffinMum]

First time they apologise to you for their teenage behaviour.

[TrudyVotion]

First time you drive them somewhere and then realise on arrival you never strapped them in.

Er yes, been there done that, and its partner, strapping the child into the seat but not the seat into the car

DD crashed the car aged two, double

[FlipFlop100]

First time DS opened the car door while travelling at 80mph on the M74, aged 2 (finding instructions on how to activate child lock suddenly when to top of our priority list).

First blackmail: DD aged 3 said, "Mummy, if you don't give me a biscuit I won't love you anymore".

First poo artistically smeared on rear car window in transit.

First poo I caught in cupped hands. DH had just lifted DD out of the bath & coming up the stairs I could see it emerging which he couldn't. I was concerned for my carpet. Ran to the toilet to dispose of it shouting "AAARGHH! I've got a turd in my hands!"

First visit to A&E with Munchausens. DD aged 4 keeled off chair sideways, Del-Boy style, and unable to move arm until given attention by lovely young (handsome) doctor.

[breatheslowly]

First time DD sneezed specks of vomit into DH's open mouth.

[stigofthedump]

First time dd swallowed a plum stone and having to squash and examine poos for following 4 days.

First time ds fell off his bike.

First school disco "you go now mummy".

[Poshpaws]

First sleepover

First girlfriend

First detention

All related to DS1 (9)

[StrangewaysHereICome]

First time dd1 dropped dd2 on her head
First time dd1 drew dd2's blood
First time dd2 fell out of the pushchair into the road
First time dd2 wee'd in a strangers handbag...

[wodalingpengwin]

First (unintentional) headbutt they give you that makes you see stars and want to cry.

First broken window.

First lie.

[SecondToughestInTheInfants]

First time DD (6mo) scratched a huge mark down visiting baby's face

Note to self: cut DD's nails more frequently...

[purplefeet]

First time vomited in the bath.

It was floating.

[dockate]

My first Mumsnet post! Loving this thread...

First liquid projectile poo (straight up the wall of DS's incubator on day 20 in SCBU) - lovely nurses cleaned it up (and all the wires and tubes that were also covered).

First time DS age 4 bit DD age 2 months ("I wanted to wake her up cos she's been asleep too long")

First time DS noticed DD didn't have a willy and asked if she was broken (she was 2 days old)

First operation - DS was approx 18 months old and it was awful; I remember him sobbing "No more hurt, Mummy, no more hurt" when his dressings were being peeled off and it still chokes me up.

So many more...

[whomovedmychocolate]

First time eating cat biscuits (four months)

First time pooed on MiL (4 hours - good lad!)

First time got something stuck up nose (2 - DD this time).

First time fell out of window (at ground floor level) (DS 14 months)

First time managed to undo car seatbelt on motorway (18 months DS)

First time threw mummy's purse and credit cards out of window on motorway (DD 2.5 ).

[bilblio]

First black eye - 2 days before 1st birthday. Inflicted by her new, still boxed tricycle.

First serious run in with the cats - 2 days after her first birthday - She had a Harry Potter scratch to go with her black eye.

First minor run in with the cats was before she was born, they'd sit on my belly, she'd kick them off, cats looked most dischuffed.

First time she drew on the walls - 19 months, I've just found the photo I took of her being made to clean it off... she's 3 now and hasn't done it since.

[AgentPoorlydisguisedVampire]

We had the 1st trip to A&E for a dislocated elbow with DD1, then twice more with DD2.

We've also had the 1st sneeze in the eye resulting in an eye infection for DH.

1st lie with an attatched, DD2 drew on our stairgate and blamed her sister. DD1 wasn't even in the house at the time and DD2 had written her own name!

[DancingOnMyBladder]

First time they lock themselves in the bathroom and can't get out again! DH had to kick it in!

Ds1 was 3 and I'd gone into hospital for a night. Came home to a broken bathroom door, two sorry boys and a very tired daddy.

[edam]

Some of these suggestions are horribly familiar...

First shoplifting - ds half-inched a whole tray of chewing gum from Sainsbury's when he was a toddler in buggy. Am a Bad Mother and didn't even notice until we were half way home - I just hadn't looked down into his lap. Had wondered why so many people walking towards us were looking at us a little oddly.

[WingDad]

I mentioned this to my wife today and she came up with a few so I thought I'd add them in:

• First time they lock themselves in somewhere: Our old house has old doors which had locks on them. DS2 decided he would lock himself and a friend in one day. I came home to a worried wife and a not-arsed son. We ummed and arred over the situation, then eventually I kicked the door in. That hurt my foot, a lot (damn sturdy frame).
  

• First time they try to stick metal things in the plugs. Spotted DS3 trying this when he was 2, cue me running in slow motion "NOOOOOOO!" just like in the movies. Turned out DS2 had told him to do it, "because it would have been funny to watch him buzz." [hmph]
  

• First brotherly free-for-all. DS1 unhurt, DS2 bleeding lip, DS3 crying his eyes out with a bruised hand. Didn't occur to DS1 that a 7 year age gap over his little brother was a little unfair, so he was grounded for an age. As was DS2, but for less time. DS3 got off with a warning because it was clear he didn't start it nor did he want it to (he was only 4 bless him).
  

• First acne. DS1 was utterly disgusted. Yelled "I've got a spot on my nose and it's all yellow" from the bathroom one day. Put me right off my breakfast that did.
  

• First blackmail. "If you don't let me go to the party, I'll phone Childline and tell them you're horrible to me. I know our address." DS1 back when he was 4/5. God knows how he knew the Childline number but luckily he never called :P

[severedhead]

first time you take dd out not wearing knickers..this happened last week dd went to loo before we left house and i didn't notice total lack of undies under her lovely flouncy skirt..realised an hour later after pushing her in pushchair through streets/park and town. i thought people were giving me evils..at least i'm not just paranoid. dived into nearest shop..

first time they tell you they don't love you or ask if they're adopted

when you both realise game's up vv santa/tooth fairy
first dead pet

and for the teens..
first time you realise they smoke or have tried drugs..
frst time you hear strange tapping/ listen intently and realise it's ds and girlfriend shagging..ewww
first time (and hopefully last) they get arrested
first heartbreak...

[TorturesInAHalfHell]

Edam, my toddler has lifted:

A packet of socks (her size) (dept. store)
A singlet (supermarket)
A rubber ball (pet shop) and
A teaspoon (cafe).

She's not yet two. Now I make sure to check under her when she's in the stroller before leaving shops.

[nooka]

Boy you lot have good memories. I can't remember half of the whens and wheres of good or bad first moments for my children. And I remember being very annoyed when my mother was just the same!