The One-Child Tea Room, version 21... the Hawaiian Islands. Cocktails, anyone?

[Jacksmama]

Welcome everyone to the 21st (!!!) One-Child Tea Room. Not to be misleading, we do have inhabitants who have or are planning more than one! Everyone is welcome.

The usual rules apply: no fisticuffs, or you will be escorted out by Mellors the Hunky Gardener. Depending on your preference, he looks variously like Daniel Craig, George Clooney, David Boreanaz, Gerard Depardieu... I have a feeling we all see something different but whatever we see makes us drool! And considering that this Tea Room is in the Hawaiian Islands, whoever we see is definitely shirtless! :o

Cocktails, non-alcoholic beverages, yummy food that is entirely without fattening effects, and lewd rolls abound in the Tea Room. There is also a full cappucino bar.

This is essentially A Tea Room of Requirement, and we're currently on the lovely sandy beaches of Maui, with beach huts, lounge chairs, cabanas, mango and papaya trees, and of course, lots of coffee directly from Kona.

Pop on in and stay a while. We may all seem a bit mad eccentric but we're very friendly!

Step-away-from-the-flame-thrower! You know who I mean!

Nope, JM just doesn't like it.

OK. I'll remember that.

::Tee plots to put aspidistra into JM's bed::

I'm hiding out in the Priest Hole until the Aspidistra wars are over!!

I see Tee is going to fit right in here :o

You've got two aspidistras again. (See third post by Amberlight

What are you lot like??? I am nibbling on a pile of these... www.lacuisinedefabrice.fr/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/langoustine2.jpg

Feel free to dive in.

Bad Things Happen if you blaspheme the Aspidistra! (See Busman's Honeymoon by DL Sayers)

Besides, we have to keep them flying!

Donki you read my mind! That's probably the only other time I've even heard of a however you spell it (I'm on my phone trying to get the baby to sleep and the spell check sucks) and I have no clue how ro pronounce it!!!

My New Year's Resolution was to leave the aspidistra alone. I'm just going to ignore its existence entirely.

So if you all could just support my resolution by not talking about the bloody thing that would be lovely. Thank you.

Sorry, JM, didn't quite hear you. Did you say to talk about the aspidistra as much as possible? Is that what you said?

::Tee flees::

:o

OUCH! Direct hit!

This thread is very violent.

I like it.

Owing to the warm and fertile nature of the tea room environs, every single little shred of aspidistra roots as it falls to the ground. Mellors pots up a myriad (10 000) tiny plants in 3 inch pots, which he tenderly arranges on greenhouse shelving outside the tea room. He is then seen giving the NMB's instruction on the finer points of aspidistra care.

unserp - you're a poet!!!

On another thread an mner's husband has bought her Chanel no 5 for Chrissy and she wants to take it back!!!!

Recomposes self...

Which reminds me that Mellors is yet to give his carefully chosen Christmas favourite perfume gifts to the tearoom ladies.

Why thank you Mellors x x x

What did you all get????

UNis takes a teeny tiny aspidistra home with her. It can join the big one in teh dining room.
We are now actually using the dining room to eat in... novel, it only took us 6 months from moving in to eating in the room designated and furnished for such use...

Ham n cheese croissant sounds lovely. Pass one over on a toasting fork would you. JM, do you mind giving it a light flame grill??

So- today I checked that Boys school trews and plimsolls fitted and labeled them. added his choice of key ring to his back pack, put PE bag and book bag into back pack.... I think we are ready for tomorrow. apart from the time issue... boy slept till 11am today, tomorrow morning at 7.45 is not going to be pretty.

I quite liked Busmans honeymoon too, made me laugh a lot. I have evil under teh sun lined up to read sometime. currently finishing a book about virtual world MMPRPGs .

Any one got any thoughts on utterly non scary films/ TV to watch with a nearly 5 yr old. Boys fear and screaming at teh thought of watching anything "new" is getting worse. He did eventually get into Mary Poppins today, but 1st half hour he had hands clamped over ears and kept saying " its toooooo scary, turn it off" but couldn't say WHAT was scary. I think we will have to dedicate some time to watching utterly innocuous stuff with him .
Gruffalo, Charlie and Lola, chuggington and Ocotauts are all too scarey now.

Mellors gave me a chocolate orange.

The Aristocats? Wriggle is generally fairly bomb proof but has more easily scared friends, who can however cope with that. She is also actually getting more senstive to scarey - I think it might be as they understand more. She is afraid of Soren Lorenson now.

I got a big cut-glass bottle of Hungary Water.

Ooooh... Do you like chocolate oranges, UniS?

Mellors?

Anyway, I don't really wear perfume. Can I have a Lakeland voucher instead? I really need their pineapple cutter. Although I never buy whole pineapple.

I was given a big jar of (American) peanut butter from Mellors. Yum! Mellors knows smellies give me headaches and that I'm out of decent peanut butter.

Are the newest schoolboys ready for their big day? More importantly, are the Moms?

I can't think of any unscary film.

Milk loves The Railway Children, The Sound of Music, The Secret Garden, The Red Balloon, Miss Potter, Tom and Jerry, anything with Wallace and Gromit, Dumbo and Mamma Mia to name a few but all have a slight darkness and scary side to them...