To want to ban these phrases (not light-hearted - this would be my first act as dictator)

[OptimismvsRealism]

"I'm reaching out" - no, you are contacting me by email

"it broke me" - no, it made you a bit sad

"Picky bits tea" - just no

You may indeed. I will have lovely uniforms made which will not have formed part of “an edit” and additional powers will be granted to punish those who “reach out” or start an email with “I hope this email finds you well”.

The hanging, drawing and quartering is for a first offence, after that it’s a gibbet at the nearest cross-roads as a warning to others.

Me time

🤮

Then there is American, “Potty mouth”, meaning a swear word.

As in, do you want to level up your sandwich?

Going forward,

Can I get, (as in buying a latte), no love, it's not self service

I never understood the mumsnet ‘handhold’.
I would never hold the hand of an adult going through someone traumatic.

Not a fan of people saying 'passed'. My mum died, if she had passed I would have gone by her in the street.

Smarts

I'm Irish and work with professionals all the time. We cosider it polite to say this especially if you haven't been in contact for a while.

Daily Mail - female celebrity in a low cut top is putting on a busty display

I suppose they can;t really print "Jenny from A.N.Other Soap was using her Gosssard Wonderbra and Tit Tape to their full advantage and had her breasts nearly out in full view there"
So Busty Display it is then

“It’s not rocket science” but specifically when referring to something that is actually quite difficult. E.g I overheard some ignorant colleagues taking about the time taken to produce the covid vaccine (when it was in the process of being developed) ranting to each other about how long it was taking. One of them said “well it’s not rocket science is it?” Whilst simultaneously actioning giving themselves a jab in arm. 🤨

I’m a bit of a foodie!

No you just have strange preoccupation with usually shit overpriced food!

'...in any way, shape, fashion or form'.

It makes me want to scream! It's just a pointless over-use of words. 😡

God yes. 'Myself' always seems to be used by people attempting to sound more formal/ grammatically correct, and failing miserably because a simple 'me' would do perfectly well.

Used to have a friend on Facebook who always captioned photos of her toddler son 'wee man cut down'.

We are no longer friends of any kind.

I want harsh labour and scratchy jumpsuits for the curmudgeons on style & beauty who recommend a shrug or bolero for every single outfit .everytime

See also leggy display @70isaLimitNotaTarget. Thankfully I haven’t yet seen “arse-cheeky”, “camel toesy” or “low hanging ballsy” displays being written about, but I expect it’s in the post.

Yes. Two of the worst offenders.

When Jezza used to shout "We'll you should have put something on the end of it then, shouldn't you!"

I always imagined an unrolled condom sitting on top, like a hat

Spenny

A hundy-p

Unless they were so hungry they GRABBED the lunchbox, followed by INHALED the lunch.

Haha! I forgot about Jezza. ‘Step up to the plate!’

Also: wrap dresses. You're 20 years too late!