People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

And obvs I meant eyes not eye - they are not pirates. Although that would add a new dimension

My giggling is shaking the bed so much, I'm afraid of waking DH.

Great thread!

@gingergenius 😂😂

There once was a poster named eurgh,
Who was fed up of hedgerow pervs.
They sex-ed incognito,
By twighlight in beech though!
Poor Notdog's a bundle of nerves!

I wonder if they even know there's a secluded wheat field nearby
Ohhh, I can see the next news story now: Farmer finds the strangest crop circles in his wheat fields, UFO hunters stake out the site"

Utterly, totally shameless placemarking

Indeed this is a classic thread, have just wasted half hour catching up reading this in car

It doesn't look as though it will be immortalised in classics though. That would have been fun and maybe in years to come Tasha would appear here saying her fella who she left her DH for won't move out of his mum's and makes her have sex in hedges....then she'd see the thread and reminisce on the good 'ol days. Ho hum,

Can we start a petition to get the thread in classics, I feel the future generation of MN will miss out on brilliant hedge fuckery

Aww, I lost my virginity in a wheat field, all nostalgic now I shall have to take dh for a walk round some fields and see what comes up.

YarnObsessor Theresa?

Delurking to say eek look!
This thread is amazing!!!

Hi @eurgh,

Just hopping on to say we've had about a million and nine requests for your thread to be moved over to our Classics hall of fame.

Would you mind if we shuffled it over? Oh, g'wan!

yaaaaayyyyy!

Bravo 👏

@DawnMumsnet.

YAY FOR DAWN!!

Oh I'm sure I can allow it
Let's toast to Gaz and Tasha

To Gaz and Tasha!
May their giggling be forever wanky.

@eurgh

Oh I'm sure I can allow it Let's toast to Gaz and Tasha

Cheers!

And welcome to Mumsnet Classics.

yes I think I could get used to this

@eurgh - you are an absolute legend!

This might be my favourite MN thread of all time OP.

To Gaz and Tasha!

Yes @eurgh , I was too embarrased to come forward as I am aware this is not your everyday problem. I'm glad I am recieving the representation I truly deserve. ANTI HEDGE SHAGGERS UNITE!!!