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Original poster

People keep having sex in my hedge...

926 replies

eurgh · 25/06/2018 17:00

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
user09876543211234567890 · 27/06/2018 22:52

This is better than a soap opera.

RebeccaSterling · 27/06/2018 22:52

@DeegeeDee: I keep reading that as "Taz and Gash". Grin

DeegeeDee · 27/06/2018 22:53

Rebecca! Am now reading it as Gash.

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 22:53

This could honestly be a sketch show - my life is v boring normally but this, this was something else!

OP posts:
Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 22:54

So I was by the hedge, I could sense when he was thrusting if that makes sense

OP posts:
Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 22:55

I just said, breezy as anything in the exact voice you'd use if you haven't seen a long lost friend for years and years...."Gaz! Tasha! Lovely night for it isn't it"

OP posts:
KalindaBlack · 27/06/2018 22:55

Yes yes

Halebeke425 · 27/06/2018 22:56
Grin
Skybluepinkwithyellowspots · 27/06/2018 22:57

Come on OP you can't stop there Grin

DeegeeDee · 27/06/2018 22:57

Tell me more, tell me more....

@wetwashing00 please go get some (and then share it with us)

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 22:58

At this point:
Tasha: What. The. Fuck.
Gaz: For the love of fucking god, how hard is it to get a peaceful fuck around here.

This was the precise moment NDN snort laughed out their window so effing loudly that Gaz then said "Fuck me, they're fucking everywhere, fucking pervs"

Some rustling and a brief squelch followed and then the doors to the flats opened and shut

OP posts:
Goostacean · 27/06/2018 22:59

Brief squelch 😂😂😂😂😂😂

elportodelgato · 27/06/2018 22:59

Oh my GOD

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 22:59

I think it might have seen them off for good...it's been quite fun chatting with you all about it but going forward hedge sex in sex hedge isn't ideal

OP posts:
MrsMogginsMinge · 27/06/2018 22:59

Yes... yes...

MrsMogginsMinge · 27/06/2018 23:00

Aaaah.

Grimtimes · 27/06/2018 23:00

I've just snorted ... fan bloody tastic - well done!

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 23:01

NDN's gave me a little round of applause and a bravo. Grin

OP posts:
Goostacean · 27/06/2018 23:01

@MrsMoggins That pic didn’t load for me initially, thought you were enjoying the thread a bit too much....!

MrsMogginsMinge · 27/06/2018 23:02

I’m having a cigarette and a sandwich now

Grimtimes · 27/06/2018 23:03

well that's tomorrows entertainment gone ... next....!
Please Please let this be in Classics

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 23:04

@MrsMogginsMinge I think I'll join you, I'm exhausted Grin

OP posts:
DeegeeDee · 27/06/2018 23:04

Well done OP, and a bond with your NDN too.

Original poster
eurgh · 27/06/2018 23:05

@Grimtimes this all depends on how brazen they are

OP posts:
DropZoneOne · 27/06/2018 23:08

Grin well done op, this has been very entertaining. I hope you can go back to peacefully enjoying your garden of an evening now!