People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

It is dusky! C'mon sexhedgers!!

Checking in for tonights hedge action.

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks haha oops didn't even realise what I said but what a great twist that would be... the update of all updates

I have my binoculars and air horn ready

No joking, they're actually BACK! I guess they want to finish the job they couldn't last night....I'm going to let them get into it, insert fingers in bums and then casually strike up a conversation

Actually can't believe I'm considering this I'm so not a bold person...I'm therefore blaming every one of you for what may or may not happen

These two are hilarious, she is so impatient - "Just get it out and shove it in, Jesus Christ!"

They have no idea I'm stood right on the other side of the sex hedge (but far enough away I won't get caught in any crossfire)

Shout "Tasha your husband is coming".. I'm certain they are neighbours having an affair!! Also do the conversation! Totally gripped! 😂😂

I feel bad, should I be doing this? It feels...invasive. I mean I know it's my hedge and all.

I haven't cacawed for NDN but can see them hanging out an upstairs window watching me listening to sex hedge

I am LIVING for the updates

She needs him to move a bit, cramp is setting in

What are you going to say? 😂

Take notadog into garden, pretend his name is Gaz. Encourage notadog to do wees and poos, tell Gaz he is a good boy. Repeatedly, loudly. As they can’t see through the hedge, go crazy re ‘What have you found, Gaz, something in the hedge? OMG, get it, Gaz, BITE it!’

Double dare ye!

Do the call OP. Get the NDN involved.

Ok I'm just gearing myself up to be bold

Right, let's do this.

I’m on tenderhooks 😱

Come on op...we're all behind you.

Agog here!

Get NDNs over. Shout up at them, that’ll scare the shite out of Gaz and Tasha. Tell them notadog is burrowing through the hedge to get at something. Go on, go on, go on!

Do it, do it, do it. Not you Gaz and Tash

Come on op...we're all behind you.

OMG, really?! You’re terrifying!

Ironically.... reading this in the dark downstairs when I should be having sex 😮

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks shit have I outed myself now