People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

@Aftereights91 , when they next 'come' in the sexhedge 😂

" Ooo! Look! Its Gaz and Tasha from the flats- what are you two doing here "? Then stick hands through hedge and (hopefully not accidently grabbing a soggy twig) shake hands whilst enthusiastically introducing yourself as the owner of the bushy bordello 😁

It has to be utterly casual though, like the whole neighborhood knows exactly who they are and what they are up to.

How is this not in classics yet?? MNHQ, come on!

Slightly worried sensible NDN's DH is a little TOO keen to be part of the shenanigans! (especially as he doesn't get up for work in the morning).

Did you tell sensible NDN you were a MN-er eurgh?

This has to be the most unique way to bond with your neighbour EVER!

@Ancientmummyofwooooos hahaha op you could pretend to be someone who new them when they were younger. Adopt an older lady voice "Gaz...Tasha? I haven't seen you since you were knee high, you've grown so much"

"Gaz...Tasha? I haven't seen you since you were knee high, you've grown so much"

Well, Gaz certainly has!

'Why don't you pop in for a cup of tea when you're done?'

@KeepServingTheDrinks yes I told her about mn coz I didn't want her to think I came up with all the ideas myself - she'd have backed away slowly, nodding and smiling and then have me committed!

I really laughed at 'soggy twig' 🤢

This thread is brilliant...what I don't quite get is...it's only just got dark at the time they're 'doing the do' ... bloody hell!

Shameless placemarking this gem of a thread

Believe me, the very moment they start it, it gets dark and a little grim too.

If the culprit is Australian, can we refer to him as a bushwhacker?

@Grimtimes sometimes they don't even wait for darkness - sometimes it's only just 'dusky'

Best thread ever!! Can’t wait for them to come back so NDN can get involved too

Superheroes I so hope you didn't mean that the way I thought you meant it!

That really would be a twist in the tale if NDNs got involved
I don't know if they'll come tonight as they rarely come on consecutive days by it has been known *

*all puns definitely intended

Air horn

The two of them, they had their crush
behind the green, their hearts did rush
when she pulled him towards her bust
fuckin' in a bush

Her lady garden, soft and lush
into her hedge he did push
then felt her finger up his tush
fuckin' in a bush

Then Eurgh looked out and saw the fuss
First her arse, and then his nuts
She caught the final grunting thrust
fuckin' in a bush

And now Eurgh's scarred by all this lust
She's huffed and puffed and sometimes cussed
laid barbed wire that's left to rust
no more fuckin' in the bush!

@TornFromTheInside you never cease to make me laugh, I might make you a prize or medal or similar

Gotta laugh, or else we'd cry!

'dusky hedge sex' - sounds like a mills and boon!

It's dusky now .... not that i'm over invested!

air horn

This.

Tuning in due tonight's episode

*for