People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

@northernlites 10 minutes or so usually...finger in the bum, get the job done sort of affair. I'll be going outside soon so the notdog can have a scamp about.

Now we wait...

Douse their favourite part of the hedge with some itching powder .....! Sorry, couldn't help myself!!

What a classy pair, well you might get 2 or 3 tracks played form your playlist then 😂

Hedge sex case - two (sic) cheeky by far.

Apparently one investigator is looking into the matter and can see a hole in the evidence.

I could say,keep going guys . Good for your health.

You could shout 'Easy cum, now why don't you easy go?'

Maybe they've got a devil put aside for them and won't care.

Hedge Sex is reaching new heights!

Have you got LL Cool J 'doin it'? Would set the tone nicely for a romantic hedge shag/bum fingering.

Romantic bum fingering?
Bit of an oxymoron that lol

If someone pointed me out in a lineup as I held a bunch of roses, I suppose that could be considered fingering a romantic bum.

I definitely agree that playing some music or weird noise is the way forward.

May I suggest some Monty Python songs from The Meaning of Life - Either "Every Sperm is Sacred" or "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis"

Alternatively, you could hang a vicar's and a naughty police woman's costume with a Theresa May and Donald Trump mask up in the bush with a sign stating "wear these".

Creepy jumpscare sound through the speaker midway? Streaking is fitting for the footie season after all.

guys, guys? Anyone still following this....there's rustling! Am waiting to see if I can hear voices

Omg, get the music ready!

It was me who posted about sex in the bushes. I don't recognise this particular hedge. Looks nice though! ;-)

IT'S DEFINITELY THE SHAGGERS!!!
Oh my I feel nervous. It's nearly time to turn on the speaker 😂😂😂

Go for it! Best thread ever!

This. Is. Too. Damn. Funny.

There was a few grunts and then "just pull them to the side" I think they are in established coitus. And a car just drove past them. I'm going to hit shuffle and see what happens

The lack of foreplay is disappointing.

It feels wrong to get popcorn.

The romance is strong tonight eh...

"Yeah keep it in there"

......aaaaand play

Ahhh you can’t type quickly enough, I need to know what happened next!

this is hilarious