People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

Ooh! Go get them!
“Lazy fuckers can’t even be bothered to pull her knickers down!

At least she's wearing knickers!!

What's happening now?

This thread has caught the eye of the local 'nature watch'.
So far they've spotted:

a throbbin'
a blue tit
a woodpecker
robin's red breast
a rampant rabbit
a swallow
two shags
and a game cock!

If you knew you were slipping out for a quickie wouldn’t you just go commando?

I have just found this thread and I'm so invested ha ha. Did the music playing help?x

Dirty hedgers! Hope they get leaves up their arse!

I want to know what song!

And.....??

OP where are you???

Waiting patiently.......

Just lean in and say firmly
'please stop shagging in my hedge. I sit out here every night so my dog can wander the garden and frankly you two are freaking us both out. Please go elsewhere. I can't see you so your identities are safe, but just bugger of OK?'

Anyone that just heard 'Freak Me' by Another Level playing - you are very local to me 😂

🎶 Let me lick you up and down, till you say stop 🎶

Her: What the fuck is that
Him: Some perv is spying on us!
Her: Stop then!
Him: Go down here to the trees

Dear reader, the trees are also mine... 🤦🏼‍♀️

I think you should collect some leaflets from the RSPB about how it's illigal to go shagging and disturbing nesting birds this time of year.

www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/advice/gardening-for-wildlife/plants-for-wildlife/garden-hedges/hedge-law/

So glad I checked in on this thread right now

AHAHAHAHAHAH

😂😂 Spying on them 😂😂

Who says romance is dead??!! 😂

So the upshot is, I'm a perv and they've just moved a bit further down my boundary. I'm ordering a hose and/or a karcher jet washer

Are they teenagers?

The only time I have ever known people to have Sex in a hedge was when I was a teenager at school at about 15 and some of the teenagers at school would have Sex in bushes as they were not able to in their parents homes!!!

Who ever it is, just tell them to stop doing it. It’s gross!

Another level. Absolute perfection!

Not just some perv half of mumsnet are watching!

It's thread titles like this that keep me logged on to Mumsnet.