Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

Oh, french. I heard the 'pardon' and thought it was just some non-U oik. Emperor, I'm sure a gentleman of your breeding knows that the correct way to communicate with a French person is to speak VERY LOUDLY and SLOWLY

Of course I know that but they're Japanese, I've seen their videos on YouTube. Very fetching outfits. Not as good as mine though

The broken doors and heads in the Vatican predate Communion Whisky and evensong-alcohol.
We moved with the times. We even have Holy Hard Rock.

Right. That's it.

This faker, this heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeathen, this...this...bumsprite has gone too far

Honestly, at this point, the only option is to send in the knickerweasels.

Oh! I have some newborn knickerweasels. Don't ask how.

Hello Mummy! What a beautiful crown. Can I borrow it for tonight's party over in Arrendale? Everyone there has better crowns than me, and pet frost giants, it's not fair.

Oh! I have some newborn knickerweasels.

Now, why doesn't that surprise me . . . ?

Sister

Your knickerweasels will never find me - they are drunk on your knickerwhisky and dizzy with the stench aroma of your nunly foof accoutrements.

And even if they did find me, Flappy is tackling large honeybadgers now, and is on his way to wolverines.

However as a gesture of goodwill, I will be delighted to microchip your knickerweasels (for a small fee). It's a legal requirement in Mortificado now anyway, what with all these unauthorised back-street breeders about ()

Fecking peasants.

What the hell did cook put in the food over the weekend?

I have, as predicted, accidentally posted as PrinceMortificado all over the place.

Well someone had to get rid of all the mutant babies around here

Looks like these guys are going to be tripping for a week.

Well that explains a few things.

Cook, if you see a baby centaur on your travels, be kind and make it quick. He's very sweet and all, but seems a bit too trusting of merpeople for my taste. We all know what their sort is like.

centaur darling, mummy's sending a friend to pick you up from school. Mwah mwah.

Princess

And you dared to complain about me confitting your designer dragon eggs!

If you can't beat em, join em.

Have to admit, I didn't see myself turning out as a zombie alcoholic mum who eats her young, but then, who does?

And how's Flappy doing?

Oy! Leave Flappy alone. And the baby centaur, bless his little cotton hoof covers.

I can see I'm going to have to use some of the royal my gold to set up a sanctuary for mythical beasts and corgis.

Ooh yum, a takeaway opening nearby!

you really don't want to make a dragon cross. The only reason I've not incinerated you yet is in case DrDragon ( just got PhD researching advanced reptilian jet propulsion systems , #soproud) has any filial feelings towards you.

Ooh a dragon!

Stop playing with the food!

Fortunately I have a very thick skin - the whippersnapper won't harm my scales. Its one of the reasons dragons are so good with kids, and useless as potential food from a young age.

Pity your sire wasn't a winged horse, you're going to have to do dressage instead of flying lessons. No, don't stamp your ickle hoof at me.

Thank you for your spirited defence of Flappy, Mortificado'sDragon. It brought an oily tear to his scaley eye when I told him how you had spoken up for him.

He's enjoying a few precious childhood moments chasing condors across the mountain ranges (they grow up so quickly, don't they?) and won't be back until tea-time (chamois and chips - his favourite).

Condors? I missed the news of you moving to the Americas. Andes or USA?

Hey dad! Well it's finally happened, I'm going to be the first dragon astronaut! I leave tomorrow for my first trip - keep an eye on the night sky, I'll fly across the moon a few times just for you xxxxx