Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

"bike"?

"before you drink and drive"?

Talk about a high flier! (#soproud)

Anyone seen a newborn baby centaur around?

Asking for a friend.

Mama?

T'is I, HalfBloodprinceMortificado! In my effort to find something to wear that hadn't been incinerated I found this rather fetching robe made of the finest thread, so fine you can barely see it in fact

Pretty sure this means I outrank you all now.

I don't have to try, you faker 2kids

At the Cathedral of the Holy Hobnob, there's not only Communion Whisky, Juniper Gin and Naice Prosecco, espresso martinis and jammy dodgers, there's also Bollinger and Holy Strippers.

Still free.

Yeah, Sister - and then before people know what's what, they've been slipped a MickeyFinnMontificado and wake up shackled to an oar in the bowels of the EmperorMortificado's luxury liner.

We all know how that ends.

By the way, Emperor Your new clothes are a bit revealing . . .

Aw, a baby centaur.

Princess, you and your 'friend' please stay away from the fishpond, we don't want merpeople in our moat.

we don't want merpeople in our moat.

Again . . .

2kids
I'm slightly alarmed by your rhetoric.
The aim of the Cathedral of the Holy Hobnob is to get everyone just tipsy and dazed enough to get through their day without resorting to slamming colleague's heads in doors, stabbing clients who change their mind nine times, or garotting their managers.

Really, it's a public service.

Unlike your heathen establishment of horseshit and snake oil.

Hmph.

Horseshit and snake oil is a well-recognised and thoroughly researched medicinal combination legally licensed by the NCHSASOSOM (National Council of HorseShit And Snake Oil Suppliers Of Mortificado).

We have a badge and everything.

However your comment about "slamming colleagues' head in doors" explains a lot about the damaged door frames and the large number of bishops and cardinals with bandaged heads swanning around the Mortificado Vatican.

I had wondered . . .

Nonsense! This fine thread refracts the light through some kind of magical fidgywidgyness. The label said so.

Light Refraction . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s.

Well-known reaction of . . . . very finely woven fabrics . . . . ()

Good god, why is that man stark bollocking naked in the courtyard?

Anyway - DARLING! Hello little one, I've been scouring the castle grounds for you everywhere. Come to Mummy! I mean - mummy's friend. We can go swimming in the lake if you'd like!

For crying out loud, Princess, you've been popping out dragon ages and centaur foals as though you were on bonus! Can't you keep your ovaries to yourself for five minutes!?

I know you don't care - but how can I explain to little Flappy that his mother is No Better Than She Should Be when he is old enough to ask This Sort Of Question?

At least there's no hint of prejudice in you - you aren't even speciesist, let alone racist. That's one thing in your favour, I suppose.

*eggs, not ages

What the eff is it with this autocorrect?

Someone's nicked mine now too!

Muuuuuummmmmmyyyyyyy I made a fwennnndd

Humph! Typical attitude to us working mums there 2kids.

There I was trying to haul myself back from the afterlife to reach my young ones (who you ate) and all you can do is judge. Nest of vipers indeed.

centaur darling! I'm so glad you're making some friends. Now, come along and help Mummy find her painkillers and have a nice nap. She's very, very, very drunk right now.

What!

You're the one who laid that bloody nest of vipers as well?! The damn things are hanging from the branches in the pine trees, and dropping onto unsuspecting skiers! Gustav on the next Alp found his Horn full of them!

(On the plus side, all those fat lads from the visiting Bavarian Oompah Band have decided it isn't safe to wear their lederhosen, thank gawd. I just wish your offspring would start nesting in the tuba and stop them plating the damn thing - If I have to listen to one more off-tune chorus of "In Munchen stent ein Hoffbrauhaus" or "Oh, du lieber Augustin", I swear I won't be held responsible for my actions . . . . )

Oh - and as for you "working mums" - it is common knowledge that the hardest work that you've ever done is pouring booze down your neck! You, Princess are a disgrace to all royal families everywhere.

Oh - hang on a minute - no you're not. You're about par for the course according to "Hello" magazine. I apologise for that final slur.

I agree with Princess, she's the best mum I've ever seen.

Oh thank you Not how kind.

And AS IF I'd pose for Hello. It was Playboy, and it was one time.

Love you Princess