Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

(enters chaos, apopletic with rage, red faced and spluttering)

Dragons. Dragons. We are overrun with dragons. Call the exterminator. Call the exorcist. Call the existentialists.

Princess Mortificado, you are GROUNDED. Prince, you too. Get to you room.

Mistress Mortificado, get to MY room. I need some relief. (grabs whiskey off Prince and takes a slug)

A madhouse, it's a madhouse. Overrun with dragons and rumours of reincarnation of my father. It's madness.

Should that not be FitzMortificado?

Anyway - what do I do with these dragon eggs?

What is the best way to cook dragon eggs? Just an innocent enquiry - just interested, that's all got nothing to do with having just watched "Masterchef" . Can you confit a dragon's egg?

eggs. eggs. EGGS. I am allergic to eggs. ButlerMortificado, fry them up and feed them to the peasants.

Who are you then??

I've had a better idea. Fry them up, confit them up however you like your eggs. Feed them to Illegitmate Mortificado. We'll soon find out if he's really my son or just an imposter after the Mortificado Munny.

All true Mortificado bloods are allergic to eggs. Cook them up, I say!

I could ask the same of you.

Confit dragon egg anyone?

They're free range.

Right, we need some soldiers for these!

come on then O. Let's be having ya!!

or are you too busy stuffing your face with confit dragon eggs?

Come on 0 - come an' 'ave a goif yer fink yer 'ard enuff!

Sorry 0 !- come on O

Toomuch Communion whiskey on an empty stommick. Better have some confu=it dragon eggs.

Bliddy delicious

nomnomnomnomnom

Whups - lotsa typos! ver' too much ComunnWsky - hahahaha [hic]

NOBODY expects the Mortificado Inquisition!

Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Mortificado.... Our four...no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.. ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Mortificado and an ability to frame the neighbours for the theft of garden furniture

YOU 2kids2dogsnosense have insulted our Holy Father Pope Mortificado, locked him in the cellar, tried on his vestments, drunk the Papal Whisky and attempted a schism of the Church of Mortificado.

This is not acceptable and all the worse because you are not a True Mortificado. You will be seriously inquisitificated by the Mortificado Inquisition.

We have released the Pope by the way. He appeared to have attained new heights of religious ectasy in the cellar as, oddly, did Sister Mortificado.

aaaAAAARRRMMMY, line up, to battle we go.
(waves sword wildly at O)

Wait, why are the soldiers all greasy and buttery?

Ready when you are my lord and master KingMortificado

Greasy, buttery AND delicious!

Ooh Kingy are we going to play with greasy and buttery soldiers? Is this like a celeb threesome with a paddling pool and baby oil?

My absolute favourite post yet

you always did like it when things turn ahem, greasy and moist, Mistress....

well, since O is cowering in the corner behind the baby dragons and dead cat remains, I will direct my energies elsewhere. Up we go!

Hmm... has anyone seen the actual Op Queen?

Has someone done away with her? narrows eyes

Well I certainly hope you are able to get it up King.

I assume she's out of town on business NotTheQueenMortificado. I don't think Kingy would have invited me round if she were here.

He's not stupid. And I might be a mistress but I wouldn't do it under his wife's actual nose. Do you think I have no morals????