Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

Grandpa I think it may be drugs

or even worse, magic

Gramps, we burried you last year! That's why daddy's king!

Well. That would explain why I woke up in the family mausoleum. For fuck's sake, can't anyone take a nap in this family without being deposed?

Is he WEARING MY CROWN?

ZOMG, IT'S GRANDPA ZOMBIES!

This must be the apocalypse.

LadyJaneMortificado is currently on the throne.

No matter who is wearing the crown.

It's the drugs I tell you.

Clearly, Grandpa is a heathen ghost.

If only I had a Pope to ask

Instead, I shall throw holy tea at Grandpa and see what happens.

Ooooh.

Given he's a zombie...

Biscuits, thank god. I haven't been fed since last June since SOMEONE STOLE MY THRONE.

Luckily us Mortificados are a hardy sort.

Woah man! You can't pin this shit on us!

The Holy Biscuit Barrel didn't work.
Are we about to be ruled by the undead?
Where's the Inquisition when you need it?

This thread has really taken off in ways I did not expect!!

Mummy! Jane's sitting in your chair, and everyone's telling lies about where I was last night, I don't like it, and neither does that poor widowed family who I was nursing back to health.

(I do wonder if it's just 2 of us going slowly mad on this thread. If so, cheers!)

Alas! I am but one Mortificado!

And I am loyal to QueenMortificado I paid my respects at the thread holy site that birthed the family dynasty.

I am the REAL PRETENDER MORTIFICADO!

(even though I'm powerless and trapped in The Tower at least I do have comfy garden furniture and a BBQ)

As resident holy Mortificado, I should let you all know that not only am I loyal to the true Queen, I am taking confession after elevenses at St Mortificados Church of the Benevolent Biscuit.

(Today's sermon is on Hobnobs vs Chocolate Digestives: When and How)

YOU LIE, YoungPretenderMortificado - I, 2kids am the REAL YoungPretender (WHY won't anyone believe me? I have a certificate and everything!)

And what happened last night? I dozed off and woke up in a dungeon full of dragoncack, and could hear someone using my garden furniture in the next oubliette.

I am training a rat to go between cells and bring my stuff back. I warn you, Faux-YoungPretenderMortificado, as God is my witness, if you've left my barbecue covered in grease and rat droppings there will be hell to pay!

()

... So I didn't need to bite through this door then?

SisterMortificado

Clearly, Grandpa is a heathen ghost.
If only I had a Pope to ask

You rang?

Will you lot pipe down?
Grandpa is not a zombie, he slept a long time due to dangerously low blood sugar. Now someone stuff him full of biscuits and you all shut the fuck up or I'll haunt you all!

Here here
I'm also going to log it with SS. What with all the sexual shenanigans and lockings up in the tower. Please think of the children

I'm a stealth cat, immune to dragon flames.

Feed meow, hoomin mortificado slaves!

Think of us!

classics anyone?

Is that a dig at my age?