is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

[whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney]

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

stopping

do you thinkl she gets paid for all the product mentions?

she's put me off Cath Kidston for life!

I'm becoming obsessed.....
kensal

Love the line about Kensal rise making the headlines because of a few high profile crimes. Apologies to anyone who lives there, but it is one rough part of town. Also love that she refers to it as the suburbs. Suburbs? Bollocks. If "Kensal's" the suburbs then I live on the moon. She's just bigging it up because she wants to sell her sodding house to get away from all that crime.

what an awful, awful woman. can't believe she's for real. all that screaming!

i saw a man about to jump from an 8 storey building the other week (he was saved by police in the end). i was marginally traumatised by that but didn't need a trauma specialist!

do feel gutted for the people who didn't have insurance though.

Me too.

Do you think the policewoman's eyes actually did 'burst with compassion' for those poor sods.

i think she was trying not to laugh.

Sorry, the Cath Kidston carpet just touches the parts that no northerners can reach.

I wake up screaming.

With laughter

You can hear my mirth echo over t'moors.

Thankyou MN

in hysterics over the fact her soul is actually some interior decorating and hosting a sleepover.

to all this!

brilliant

I was browsing this thread (which I hadn't seen before and made me PMSL) and had to google the name for myself. Found this - don't know if it's in the thread or not, I didn't see it, sorry if it is already. So...quick update - scroll down

'trauma envy' dear god.

I was hoping for an update on the floating shelves.

Is it a windup?I really hope so.

Was is those mumsnetters who were doing the mocking? It would be good to see the update.

Trauma envy? I think those floating shelves must have hit her on the head or something.

LOL at the comment on there about how she should check her other sock to see if it contains her brain.

Message withdrawn

I'd never seen the original - how amusing! Thanks for posting this. My absolute favourite bit is when she and her husband are searching to see if the man with serious head injuries is their friend. He isn't - and that's the last we hear of him
Trauma envy - no - I don't think so - just that there are more people out there liable to take umbrage at the self indulgent ramblings of a wallpaper-crazed, soft furnishings-obsessed drip of a woman than she had previously anticipated!

Oh and all the fence panels are being exported to China are they? Truly hell is other people!

Lionheart - scroll down on Nyx's link, and it's there. Thanks for that Nyx.

This was one of my favourite threads, thanks for posting the final chapter Nyx.

Lol at her taking credit for the naming of her neighbour's baby Dorothy!

Thanks Jackie and Nyx.

I don't remember any terrorist mumsnetters on those threads. It was probably those Standard chatters.

Wasn't beryl 90 in the first one? Now she's an octogenarian Maybe the tornado turned back time, wooooooooooooooo.

pretentous bugger! god youd of thought her whole family were killed by how she goes on!
i wonder if shes been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder yet after seeing her designer home a bit untidy! she even said sh was insured so what the bloody hell was she moaning about! and why the hell did she feel the need to keep pointing out her friends middle class jobs!!!

I am genuinely crying with laughter at this. How did I miss this the first time? I do hope the journalist read this thread, she seems the sort to scour the internet for reference to herself.

"I already had a brilliant trauma specialist therapist. I went to see him on Thursday evening"

I wonder what traumatic experience she previously went through to warrant this? Her husband pissing on the toilet seat perhaps?