To Kick These People Out #3 - the countdown begins

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

The Beginning

The Middle

The end?

So... Long story short... There are horses, soon there should not be (I'm not good at summaries, they make me sound unreasonable).

We have a date! This Saturday! The horses should be taken away to pastures new, so we can roam the meadow in gingham dresses (dh looks good in a gingham dress) and we can have FuckYouFestivals to our heart's content.

There will be choirs and drums and bands and weapons and stackable goats and so much more!

Anyone who's read the threads knows I love a lurker. I can you see you out there. Go on, jump in while the thread's all new and shiny. You know you want to

Goats could be shampood surely, to cut down on the smell. Maybe someone could give them all complete make-overs? DD is keen on practising following patterns too, so she could make them outfits. We have surplus blue gingham as it happens.

Good day, bad drive home. I have been unkind to DH about his driving (which was shit in parts). I've got period rage and a banging headache, and I didn't enjoy my treat dinner in a restaurant (I hate it when that happens). I'm going to kill you all. And the goats. I have stamped on all the stag beetles, they are dead. Dead! Ha ha ha.

I'm only half joking.

was channel hoping this evening and came across 'extreme dog grooming' on an obscure channel. Large poodles whose hair is sculpted into pictures colours shapes etc quite quite the most bizarre thing I have seen in a long time.
I think we need to invite these people to shampoo and shape the goats!!

AngelaDaviesHair - with your user name you may get caught in the hair sculpting

well, I may have been channel hoping, looking for something good, but I was actually hopping.

Good idea Jux, you can be in charge of the shampooing then

Angela don't kill us all, have this

Angela, step up to my punchbag and let it all out :)

MrsN, they smell a lot worse in an enclosed area. If it's an issue we'll have a special goat-free enclosure.

Pedant, :) it'll be ok. I'll run up, twang her bra strap, shout, "check your measurements!" And run away. How're the teeth? Been thinking of you.

Enrique, you could never be mean! I don't believe it.

Jux, ooh yes, gingham clad goats! Huzzah!

S'ok, DH and I are speaking to each other nicely again. Have had to turn down wine because it doesn't agree with me at this time of the month but I'll have a whisky mac instead. You can move the threat level back down to Defcon 3.

But if anyone tries to sculpt my hair...

Steppe! I've seen that. It's amazing. There were poodles that were dyed and cut to be lions and tigers. Amazing!

Sorry I've been watching the rugby. I'm over excited.

That's the one, one of the poodles had Bart simpson and family carved into its side!!

(in the hair, not the skin!)

ex-tooth still pretty hurty. thought it'd be done by now, am a little disheartened it isn't. thanks for thinking about me though.

the poodle sculpting sounds awesome! i disdain the little fuckers (and can't think of a poodle owner I like, for that matter), but I almost thought I might get one if I can carve it like a tiger.

then sanity reasserted itself and I remembered i really want to get a cat. a mainly-Maine-coon moggy, like my last cat, gorgeous thing he was. those o2 adverts are breaking my freaking heart.

Steppe, it was all very weird.

Pedant when I had my impacted wisdom teeth out they said it'd be between 3 and 5 days to settle. Give yourself a break, you have just had a piece of your head forcibly removed!

You'll be ok. Hope you've got lots of solpadene or codeine equivalent. The fizzy stuff tastes horrible but works quickly.

You have all my sympathy.

I went and got all busy and slipped back into lurk, have been keeping up though with read through a every couple of days but always got pulled away before I could post, every bloody time!
Never too late for me to add my congratulations for the horse free field though, that is such an achivmement, getting rid of entrenched crazed and deluded horse rescue folk is a mission impossible, you know you can do absolutely anything now Chris!

As we have now ditched the horses I propose I also ditch the responsibility of bringing my 18 Brownies (and the rest if my districts packs) to FYF and just bring myself, the donkey and fill the rest of the wagon up with booze and cheesecake ingredients (I am not much of a baker so cheese cake from me does not come ready made but I could at a push pre lick all ingredients).

Was thinking of you all while giving the pony a shampoo and set this week (aka washing out a winters worth of mud and unmentionables from the grey pony's tail and legs with fairy liquid) as I was almost sad that our trip over to you with the horse box to recreate an eppisode of the littlest hobo was now off. But then I remembered why it was off and had another celibratery moment in honour of your horseless field.

Dung beetles. I am over familiar with dung beetles, their daily schedule and breaking habits.

I spend far too many hours alone in fields.

I badly want to come and sit round your kitchen table and be your friend Chris and regularly curse the miles between us, especially when you sound low and thoughtless people surround you but it will get better. You are loved by many around the world, your DH and children are the best so all we need to do now is set a date for FYF.

Is it terribly sad of me to really want FYF to happen, to be reality? There is really nothing I want to do more then write down the date and start saving petrol pennies.

Roadkill, damnit you've made me well up.

So many points! Firstly, I love dung beetles. I love how quickly and efficiently they muck spread, I love how shiney they are, I love how they wiggle their legs when they're on their backs, I love how rotund they are. They are good beetles.

Thank you for the congrats, and thank you for the celebratory thoughts :) it isn't fair that you are all so very far away. I would make you tea and promise not to prelick the biscuits. And we would talk nonsense for hours and hours, and laugh until tea comes out out noses.

But you're not here. You're in a whole other country. Even if it is only next door (Antipodeons and mrsNutella notwithstanding).

I say yes to the donkey booze-wagon and cheesecake ingredients.

And I want it too. And I know that's not sensible, but I daydream about it.

I'm in Oxfordshire. It's about a 3.5 hour drive to mid South Wales. It's not THAT far. I have driven (that was when I could drive mind but the day I can drive again shouldn't be too far off hopefully) about the same time at a moments notice when my friend was struggling with new born twins and PND. She said help (so very unlike her) and I came. Chris my love, I'd do the same for you. It's only miles and miles are easy to overcome.

Road kill, you are incredibly lovely

We may have to make this happen :)

I'm putting on my horse scarf and heading into the field with many dcs and dh and dpuppy and some loppers. Today will be a good day.

Dammit, there is so much love flying around on this thread that it is actually making me less of a cynical bee-yatch. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy

Ida I know :) it's all too lovely

I have hopefully sent you a PM Chris.

Hope you enjoyed your horse free walk this morning.
I pondered what it would be like to get rid of a couple of the horses while I was working at the riding school today, dd had an interesting lesson today!

Zombie, are they zombie butterflies? Zombie butterflies can be a bit bitey. I don't like bitey. But I do like butterflies. And zombies.

Roadkill , got it :), it was a lovely walk. The sun came out, the birds were singing, well, they were until that sparrow hawk came along. It was lovely.

I know someone who loves taking on other people's horses! I'll put you in touch!

Could FYF occur on the day all the butterflies emerge from their chrysalids? Then they'll come and sit on us all drying their wings and not being bitey because they haven't learnt that humans are big scary monsters yet, and so they're unafraid; and then we can all be adorned with beautiful butterflies as well as having non-descript colourful blobs for faces. Even Zombie butterflies are as beautiful, as beautiful Zombie is, and we all know she is very beautiful indeed.

So anyway, I have a very large amount of quinoa salad going begging as I made much too much, so I'll be bringing it with me.

Oh I love a bit of quinoa I do (I like to imagine I'm Gwyneth but less annoying). Keep some for me Jux.

Another one here who would love to sit around a table with you Chris :)

Can you not move further north? As someone who managed to get rid of a couple of horses surely moving and house and field shouldn't be too much of a problem