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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 30/05/2013 22:42

I won't do anything untul you say MissyMoo, but I can start asking around, your Grandad sounds very distinctive, & everyone seems to know EVERYONE around these parts so fingers crossed.

MrsCosmopilite · 30/05/2013 22:54

MM skimmed through your thread so not sure if you said your parents were married. If so, then I might be able to help with some online searching.

Not got access to the system I need tonight but I can have a look tomorrow. You reckon your Dad is in his early 70's? And presumably 'local' to where you grew up? I can use that as a starting point.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 22:57

I just messaged you back Bossy sorry it took so long I had an emergency a burnt pizza that I forgot was in the oven to contend with.

I am very cautiously excited, but even if I don't find him I really just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has replied and is helping me. It means the world to me and you lovely lot didn't have to reply let alone go out of your way to help.

I promise I will keep you all updated.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 30/05/2013 23:01

No worries MM your head must be buzzing!

Of to bed now, will reply to your Pm & get digging tomorrow.

Grin
MiddleEnglish · 30/05/2013 23:03

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExasperatedSigh · 30/05/2013 23:10

Wonderful thread, hope you find him MissyMoo. I am so sorry for all that you've lost.

foslady · 30/05/2013 23:16

Good luck for tomorrow - hope you get good news

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 23:19

MrsC my parents weren't married, but thank you so much for the offer, he is about 74ish I think but I can't be 100% sure, I recall someone saying he was 10 years older than my Mother so it could be a year or 2 either way the last I knew of him he was in Bassingham but that was years ago, I just hope he hasn't ventured too far.

Thank you Middle I am going for a look on findmypast in a minute to see what its about, thank you for your kind offer.

I started this thread as a bit of a last ditched attempt and didn't really expect any replies so I am just overwhelmed with the support and help I have been offered. Flowers

OP posts:
TotallyBursar · 30/05/2013 23:27

Good luck. I have my fingers crossed this works out for you and you find them all.
G'wan the MN detectives!
Will be waiting with baited breath for your update Thanks

MrsCosmopilite · 30/05/2013 23:28

Sorry, wasn't meaning to pry, but having a few facts makes the searches easier.

I'll have a look tomorrow and see what I can find. I'll put in an age of 75 but with a few years 'grace' either way and see what I can find.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 23:39

MrsC please don't say sorry, and you aren't prying at all. You have offered to help me and I am really grateful. I don't have much information which is why I keep running into brick walls so I am really happy and in tears at the amazing offers of help and people wishing me luck.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 30/05/2013 23:43

Good luck OP

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 31/05/2013 11:49

So far today I have learned that no-one in Lincolnshire answers their phone Grin I've tried the three numbers I was given a couple of times this morning so I will try again later on this afternoon.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 31/05/2013 12:35

Sounds about right!! Hmm

SixPackWellies · 31/05/2013 12:41

Oh good luck OP.

YoniMatopoeia · 31/05/2013 12:52

Just seen this thread. Good luck OP!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 31/05/2013 19:12

I thought I had better do a quick update.

No-one has answered their phones, the paper and the sheltered housing places I emailed haven't been back in touch yet, and Bossy went past the sheltered housing place (thank you) but the warden was away home for the weekend.

I also had a PM giving me the name of a lady who may be able to help me, I emailed her and she is going to give me a call next week to see what she can do, she helped the lady who gave me her name find a relative so hopefully she may be able to turn something up.

I want to thank you all again and I will keep you all updated.

OP posts:
lateSeptember1964 · 31/05/2013 19:47

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bossybritches22 · 31/05/2013 20:13

MM it's going to be a long weekend for you not knowing I guess, I hope you have lots to keep you busy, & I'll get asking around.

Watch this space. Grin

Theselittlelightsofmine · 31/05/2013 20:34

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 31/05/2013 20:37

Oh wow late that sounds like a huge possibility. I'm going to have a look now and see if I can find the place, can you remember the name of the place she worked at? If she isn't one of my sisters then that is a massive coincidence. Thank you so much for telling me.

Thank you Bossy I've got a natural healer to track down now, that will keep me occupied until Monday now Grin

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 31/05/2013 20:42

Thank you Theselittle its good to know it can be done. I've had a little more hope since starting this thread and the amazing help i've been getting.

I'm googling natural healers in Lincoln just now to see if I can track the lady late is talking about. That sounds very much like she could be a sister of mine.

OP posts:
Theselittlelightsofmine · 31/05/2013 20:45

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Theselittlelightsofmine · 31/05/2013 20:51

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GoSuckEggs · 31/05/2013 21:15

WOW!! isnt mn bloody great!

I hope you find your family OP, my mum was doing something similar to you a few years ago. it is sad isnt it, how familys can fall apart so badly.

good luck!