Whoops, sorry, a cat just dived on my keyboard then.
Hello everyone.
Firstly can I apologise for not being back on before now.
I really did, and do, appreciate everyones support and help. And am so very thankful to everyone on here and who PM'd me.
Basically I had to take a bit of a break from everything after meeting my Dad.
He is so very lovely, we have spoken every single day, I have been to see him a few times and he has visited me, we are going on holiday together in a few weeks time, its the best outcome I could ever have hoped for.
I haven't met any siblings yet, but I have spoken to some, and met cousins, my niece and great nephews and other random family members that I haven't worked out the relationship to yet, its all going really well.
My Dad gave me a box of papers when I met him, not to make my Mother look bad, but to prove that he did try to see us.
The papers were all court papers, letters he had sent, that had been returned, nasty letters from my Mother, and some other things that I don't really want to go into, but they are proof that my whole life, every minute of it, was a lie, every minute of my childhood, which was awful, could have been prevented.
It also showed me that my Dad, and he fully admits it, was a bit of a shit when he was with my Mum, nothing like I was lead to believe, but it wasn't good, but it also documented the steps he took to correct his wrongdoings, and the proof, and continued proof that he continued with his good behaviour (sorry can't think of a better way to put it) for years and years, even though my Mother continually refused to have anything to do with him, or let us have anything to do with him.
If the courts then were like they are now I would have had my Dad in my life, but back then they were geared towards the Mother, not towards the Dad or even the good of the child.
I really needed to take the time to get my head around it all, which I still haven't tbh, but I thought that you all deserved an update.
Anyway, as hard as it is, and it is really, really hard, to not look back and be bitter, I need to look forward to the future, I have the perfect Dad (he bought me shoes, I am easy pleased) brothers and sisters who I will be meeting soon, my kids have a Grandad who they absolutely adore, and he adores them (you should have seen us all in Lincoln town centre when I took them through, we were all a soppy sobbing mess of tears and smiles and cuddles, I dread to think what people thought).
And once again, thank you to everyone, absolutely everyone, for all of your help. I feel like the centre piece of the jigsaw puzzle has been put back in my life and it all makes sense now.
I am a very very happy bunny and I will be forever grateful to MN for that.