This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

Good luck OP, I have my fingers crossed for you. My bf has tried to track her bm for years without success (not in the UK, very different circumstances), so I have some feeling for how important it can be.

I really hope you find your family.

missy I have everything crossed for you. what a brilliant story!
Do you think the local paper might like to do a little story about your search? It is just the sort of thing our local paper thrives on (every day is a slow news day in Malvern :) ) and you could look sad in a photo :)

MUMSNET you vipers are utterly brilliant.

Sorry, MM my searching hasn't turned up anyone that seems to match as yet. However, keep me in the loop and as and when you get more info, I'll happily re-run the searches and see if I find anything.

I do hope you have some luck with the leads you've got so far.

This kind of thread is why I LOVE MN.

It truly proves what a nest full of vipers we are not most of the time

I really hope you manage to track down your family Missy, I wish you so much luck. Please, please keep us updated.

Oh and just a thought, you could start one of those shared posts on Facebook. Make a poster saying that you are trying to track down your DF and long lost siblings, give names locations and things and mention your GF but leave out some information such as your GFs nickname, that a sister died of SIDS so that you can variety any potential relations. Then post it on Facebook, share it on local Lincolnshire stuff for sale pages and ask others to share it.
These kind of things usually get shared around quite a lot.

Have put put out a round robin (with MissyMoos permission) amongst all my Bassingham contacts.

Am also going to try our local Radio- Lincs Fm & see if they'd put out a message. The Sat breakfast show is popular, might get some feedback.

Will pop to Bass. in the morning too for my usual paper & quiz the owners of the Spar shop there, the family have been locals for years,Mum,Dad& 2 sons....the Dad must be about the same age as Joe so might know something.

I'm a sucker for these Long Lost Family things, I'd be SO chuffed if in some way I could find a small piece of the jigsaw.

bossy you need to change your name to missmarplesbloomers

There is NO WAY you will come back empty handed!

Good luck with your search Missy, you've got some good detectives here on the case, I really hope you can make contact with your family soon

Bossy I can't thank you enough for all your help.

I don't know what you do for a living but you are definitely in the wrong job. You need to be a spy, or at least a private detective.

Lovely thread OP, I love watching long lost families on Channel 4, I hope you get back in contact

Hurra! Go Bossy!

Another one here keeping their fingers crossed that the combined detective talents of mumsnet will be able to track down the lost half of your family...

Thank you so much Fern I had been googling all sorts of things for hours and hadn't come up with anything at all. I am now composing a message, whilst trying not to sound like someone really dodgy, which is harder than you would imagine when asking if someone could possibly be your sister

I actually feel sick with nerves just now.

You lovely lot will be the very first to know if/when she gets back to me.

I really can't thank you all enough for your help and support

Squeeeeeee how exciting!

norks love the new NN might use it!

I couldn't message her on LinkedIn because I'm not a member or something, so I found her business on FB and messaged her on there, but I don't think she uses the page much as there are only 5 likes and one post.

I think I have found her profile on FB so I will wait and see if she messages back from her business page and if not I will ask the lady on FB if she is the same one.

I just apologised in advance if I have it wrong and then gave a brief outline of everything without mentioning names, so now its a case of wait and see if she gets back to me.

Hopefully mismarplesbloomers might get some feedback from FB and tweeting the radio as well.

This is just amazing there is literally nothing MN can't do (although I am still trying not to get my hopes up, but its getting harder not to now).

I have teared up after reading this.

Good luck Missymoo - hope you get some news soon

How exciting xx good luck xx

This is awesome. I have no stalky powers but I love this thread!

Just marking this thread so I can keep up with developments! How exciting! So great of everyone to give so much help ... all the best, Missy, hope it goes well :)

With yoni, no stalking powers in the area, but loving this thread. I really hope it all works out :)

:)