I think my baby must have a wonky widget

[McPhee]

because it never ruddy sleeps!! I've had possession of this tiny human for 11 weeks now. I thought maybe it was jetlagged, or had settling in issues. You know, like when you get a new freezer?

But...mine keeps running on maximum speed, but the battery doesn't seem to discharge at a 'normal' rate? Some bugger installed a dynamo in mine

Seriously. Is mine faulty?? Can I disconnect the Dynamo?

Does yours sleep, and if so how many hours during the day

I ordered mine on express delivery but was not impressed by the speed of the delivery service at all. It was definitely not "express" that is for certain!

I'd like a 2001 model in pink with detachable mouth and all terrain wheels, please.

Ah, I only have 93, 94, and 09 pink models. I have a 96 blue one though, but you're outblued anyway.

I might be tempted to make you an offer on the 2009 model if it's surplus to requirements, but I am not keen on letting my own 2009 model go as I think it's actually a bit of a collector's item, this one. Even though we didn't keep the original packaging.

Yes, I think I may have problems letting go of the 2009 one. It is the only model of mine that rarely answers back and goes to bed before me. Also, and most importantly, it is the only model that can't reach either the chocolate supplies or my vodka.

Read the small print when you order! I ordered two pink models to arrive in close succession and was shocked when a blue model arrived a good 10 years later. I swear I never ordered it but manufacturers refused to accept it back. The blue model comes with an extra widget which is interesting.once the pink models become vintage they are strangely attracted to this blue model widget and tend to go into stealth mode to enable them to interact with widget bearing blues.you MUST install the contraceptive app and check it is functioning on a regular basis,as a malfunction can result in your model dividing and replicating!

Static interference issues here.

I've installed v1 2012 in to the recharging cradle, and commenced download of todays info, but it's still making that noise.

It's user is now suffering from tension in the cranium.

This should be made into a book and given to all new parents.

MNClassics?

2.10 model is with the co owner and apparently it shut down early and easily.

I need to get that manual so I can find this straight shut down button.

Today before despatch it was in whiney screech mode. even the upper port refused to.accept chocolate

McPhee to prevent leak mode while the virus protection is being installed insert your feeding device into the large upper port

I was most disappointed with mine at first - I ordered it express delivery by DHL and it arrived 4 days late via fanjo plus all the expensive user manuals weren't written in the right language for the model I received - they all uses angelbaby and the operating system on my device appears to be devilchild.

The hardware is of excellent quality but updates have tended to appear early, sleep mode is faulty and the why app has been installed a full 6 months ahead of schedule.

I am currently in the latter stages of the manufacturing process of v2. V1 model 3.9 objects to this and numerous add ons and restarts do not seem to fix the endless malfunctions.

V1 is currently with the co owner (whose manual is definately not the same as mine) and the house is horribly quiet. When V1 returns the novelty wears off quickly and the countdown begins to the next co owner period.

Although I am central to the manufacturing process, I take issue with the fact that I have no say in the colour of packaging it will come in, or what programmes it will be installed with. The sensitivity of the alarms is also of worry.

Does anyone know what to do in case of reversion to an earlier session? Mine is currently running 1.5 but the sleep mode last night was more like 0.15!

All I can say from experience is to prepare yourselves for when the time comes for your upgrades to the V18/V19 models. THere is NOTHING you can do to prevent the Hangover Grump App being automatically installed. You will wish you still had the V0.1 to V3.5 issues.

After initial fuelling issues, fixed by the bottle upgrade and the stir yoghurt into everything upgrades my pink V1.14 functions pretty well.
It has wonky wiring in its reading and writing circuits. I'm told that's a design error and no upgrade is available.

My pink V2.11 is seriously malfunctioning this morning. The unnervingly organised ap has failed totally. Tool bag is not packed for its trip to the continuous up grade centre and it has missed its transport slot.

Co-owner has had to deliver it. This means it's owner is malfunctioning as the coffee Ap has not been run.

There seems to be a lot of malfunctioning going on. I hope it's not a virus, my model isn't fully protected yet. I might download something to tide us over.

My v1 2012 had a temperature guage issue last night, needing some stripping down of the outer protective wrapping. Thankfully this glitch seems to have been short lived. The user is in need of intravenous liquid sustenance

McPhee sounds like you may need Generic Incumbant Neurofixer (G.I.N.) for users. I swear by it. Most effective after viral improvements when administered by the co-owner (or similar) with special addition T0N1C, in the feet-up position on a weekend.

Though please be aware it's not usually recommended more than once a week or before 9pm. And do be warned, other user problems are reported if over-used.

Unfortunately, when the continuous upgrade centre opens for its autumn session units appear to exchange a lot of rogue software. Viruses are common and virus checking applications don't seem to function as it gets colder.

Failure of my V2.11 to enter stand-by mode at a reasonable hour despite a intermittent software glitch, has not aided smooth running.

I'm hoping mine comes back from co owner with no glitches but I know that won't happen as it seems to malfunction for me a lot.

It tends to get stuck on run mode when in my possession. This run mode doesn't lead to a shut down though.

I'm not looking forward to the upgrade in a couple of months to the 3.00 but next year it will be going for 3 hours a day to a establishment. Not sure how this will affect the circuits but I expect the seeing ports to leak an awful lot more

I have an oral agreement for a temporary transfer of a pool v2.8. The mid section bend function will not operate when I try to insert it into the mobile perambulator device. I can't recall how I solved this issue with my own upgrade (now v5). I need to be careful with this loaner, any ideas?

The bend function on my 2.10 model also has glitches so I had to stop using the mobile device at 2.00. It now uses walk mode but this can lead to it needing a recharge while out which causes leaking seeing ports and loud whiney noises.

I find softly inserting a knee joint in to the broken bending section most effective

The walk mode is non functioning on this (abnormally dense) model.

Leaking seeing ports and loud whiney noises are more bothersome on this model than my own.

I resorted to the application of flat, circular, button-shaped discs made from cocoa solids, fat, sugar and milk powder. I am concerned about reports on my performance back to the owner.

I was concerned about applying a gentle external force but will combine this with a distraction technique in future.

After lunch, I will be setting a sleep mode for one hour.

I find that instead of the mobile perambulation unit I have had to invest in a number of carrying cases for my device...