As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

I still think you should have her be very articulate in order to fuck with his head.

I don't care what we say, as long as we get 'lolz' in there

still like the not lkike ur photo and the lol

If he's sitting at he back can he be seen for the window??? Does the place enven have windows??

you don't know if he can be seen through the window

shineypenguins That's splendid

DO IT!!!!!

I think it'll hit harder if she pities him.

Soz babes, dont 1nt 2b rude but ur so not my type. ur foto was much fitter n am lookin 4 a younger guy. c ya.

you need to get MINGIN into that text somewhere

Can you not make out she has gone to the wrong restaurant with her being fick n all. Then you could keep this going for weeks

I like Eudora's though

OK going with Eudora/Alouise/OtheHuge combo of

Sry babes saw u thr windo ur mingin and older than ur pic fink u bin tellin porkie pies or eatin them. Ur not my type. Soz. xxx

Then send another text straight away saying "I think u no my Dad, he h8s it when his m8s fancy me. Lolz"

Good point - we don't know if he's visible from the window. Maybe 'saw u at tabble ur mingin' etc?

Like SueP's wording

Sue is spot on wiv da pity

He's just texted Anna to say "hey babes u far away?"

Ha haa! love the porky pie bit. DO IT.

sadly - brilliant.

Yes to saw you at table rather than through window

That will just headfuck him even more. Think you should leave out the not being into older men. He needs dumping because he's a fat lying minger.

"Not far enuff, Lolz"

Like SueP's message - 'looking for a younger guy' will really sting...

Oh, the PRIDE!! A little bit of my wording is going to be used!!

SadlyDoing You have made my day, hell, you've made my week!

You don't need to mention how she sees him - for all he knows you've gone with a mate and got them to look.