As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

Are you not going with one of the fuck-off texts up thread? There was a minger one that was good.

Such a shame we dont have a "spy" to tell us how many times he has looked at his watch and gazed towards the door and women wandering around close by - just in case its Anna!!

PMSL!!

shineypenguins LeBJOF's attempt up there is pretty class.

Or

"saw u thru window ur mingin lol!!! nothin like ur foto im out c u l8r babez :)))))) anna xxx"

Ur nuthin like ur foto- u r a proper old fat minger, lol! C ya babez, wudnt wanna b u ;-))))))))

Any good??

She could say 'where are u? only single guy there was old and fat, decided not u.'

What you said earlier was good OP

Tarty That's genius

love it tarty

You are all positively evil - I love it.

Tarty, WAaaaayy too nice and not final enough.

I think go for OTheHuge's dumping text, you need to have something in there telling him Anna thought he was minging (sp?), you need to hurt his pride.

Do it. Do it. DO IT!!!!!

"Babes, nutin personal but u r a bit older than yr pic, fink u bin tellin porkie pies. Older men aren't my type. Soz x"

'wouldn't wanna b u' a bit contrived. Keep it simple. I like Tarty's.

I need a wee but am glued to the computer.

You've got to 'lol' after telling him he's minging. Nothing like a 'lol' to soften the experience of having your manly pride smashed to smithereens.

me too MardyBra!

I like ALouiseG but maybe add a bit:

"Babes, nutin personal but u r a bit older than yr pic, fink u bin tellin porkie pies OR EATING THEM. Older men aren't my type. Soz x"

Sry hun saw u thru windo u r old and mingin not wastin my time on u C Ya Babez wudn't wanna b u ;-))))))))))

ooh, I like Alouiseg's now...

Was wonderding what happened after yesterday - glad I found it again. Glad you're still standing strong!

I like Al0uiseG's version but put minger in there somewhere too

Might he have too much ego pride to text Anna to find out where she is?

Aha - defo put in somewhere that he is a liar/porkie pies or whatever - get the liar bit in though!