How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

Not neets, but the elder children can surely get a job while at uni?

(might be a start to solving the family tale of woe) most kids at uni work now. Or come home, go to a local uni, work in a job and pay rent to parents... (another solution that loads of young people do today)..

There are answers everywhere, just not ones the OP or her family can be bothered to take.

Well yes exactly, hence why uni is mainly about getting a job. It doesn’t matter if they can’t get one in their specific field. I was responding to a poster who was saying they will get support at uni that they can’t get in a job.

The eldest is working i think

Again! You are really hammering the hyperbole home aren't you?

OP said one kid at uni does have a job.
It is a known thing right now how hard it is for young adults to find work

OP did not say what they are studying. It could be something vocational for all we know.

"The point of uni (sic) should be to get a job."

One of the saddest sentences ever written.

I've got kids. I have a husband. It's not hard, dear. It's called organisation. A rota.

Good grief, ear plugs are 5p....

Your child sounds interesting. Wonder where the anger comes from at night. One to get checked out.

I think you are just going to have to work while the kids are at school and cut back where you can. Use foodbanks, charity shops etc.Try not to twke any money of the kids at uni imo, they are already pretty self sufficient.

I understand people think it’s mean to point out that 5 children is a bit mad but when you already knew that your older children had difficulties, well yeah it was ridiculous to then have more. I think wlefafe has given people the impression that they can keep geowing their families without having to actually support them themselves and are then in fir a shock when they lose thousands.

If OP never had acess to welfare I’m assuming that she would have stopped at 2 or 3. The system has created perverse incentives. I’m not saying OP had kids to collect benefits but it sounds like her and her DH have for the majority of their kids lives not actually had to financially support their own family themselves.

Our system needs to change radically, OP is now freaking out because the money is going to start disappearing. It’s like that stupid policy of bribing parents to make sure they don’t stop their kids from joining apprenticeships incase they lose benefits money. It’s a dire comment on our society and the state of parenting isn’t it, the government has literally just acknowledged that some parents do rely on their children existing to make a living,

I think you'll find it's "hardworking (sic) taxpayers"!

I suppose they could sell tickets for said hardworkers to visit the institutions for a look, let the useless eaters earn their keep? 🤔

Where are your families in all of this?

The other one is working - full time. She's the only one not working.

I suppose the son at university may be entitled to disability benefits because he is, you know, disabled, and that's what our welfare state is there for - to provide for people who can't work.

Except of course that most of our welfare state goes on pensions or people who are in work and on disabled people.

I personally don't want my taxes to fund healthcare for obese people, because I'm not obese. Or for smokers because I don't smoke. I'm not too bothered about pensioners because I'm not old and I have a private pension. I don't particularly agree with much of the foreign policy and don't want to fund such a big army and nuclear weapons. But you don't get to choose - you live in a country that does have a (pretty crap actually) welfare state, that provides from a far from adequate standard of living.

If your children aren’t able to travel independently to and from university, then perhaps it’s more realistic to see if they can study from home via Open University.

Can you see if any of your local shops need staff within school hours? Are there any evenings when husband can watch the kids and you work?

Whats done is done but I do think you were naive to choose to have 4 kids, especially with question marks over conditions and disabilities. To then fall pregnant with another seems strange. I’ve used Durex extra safe for 20 years with my husband. The only times I’ve fallen pregnant have been when planned and unprotected. And then I fell very quickly. Condoms work well.

It sounds like your situation really necessitated having two children which would have been much more workable with school, work etc.

There isn’t a magic solution. You’re already getting lots of help. Unfortunately I think your kids will need to study from home, so when they’re not in lectures etc, they can help with the childcare or housework, giving you more time to work.

While I personally don’t think anyone should have 5 children, disabled or not funded by the tax payer, OP now has these children and is asking for help. So no point debating that. This is the current situation.

I think the solution is for OP to find work during school hours like lunch supervisor, admin work in schools, job in local council as they are usually very flexible. Depending on OP’s skills she might be able to do remote work for a few hours daily. Stacking shelves in local supermarket could be another option. I understand that you struggle with sleep some nights but that is very similar to most parents who join work after maternity leave. The first two years are hellish as kids are ill and sleep poorly. You are up at night breastfeeding etc. but you drag yourself into work and get on with it as otherwise the bills don’t get paid. So while I acknowledge it is going to be hard there is no other choice. Or your partner needs to pick up a second job or a better paying job. Hope things get better for you. Good luck!

Well you don't know when the OP started claiming benefits - I'm assuming it was when the husband had his unforseen and unpredicted illness that meant he had to reduce his income. (which is of course one of the reasons why the welfare state is there after all).

People on low income like the OP work very hard too. Their work is just not sufficiently well paid to live on, or isn't paid at all, like the OP, caring for children with disabilities. Lots of people are in this position, which is why in work benefits make up such a chunk of the welfare bill.
You must surely know this? I mean who do you imagine does the low paid work we all depend upon?

And as a WC person from a low income family, who was fortunate enough to have no fees for uni, plus a maintenance grant, I can tell you with certainty that you are talking nonsense when you say young people from my background used to be told no.
You are confusing what you think should be the case, that the children of poorer people stay in their parents lane, with a much fairer system where the next generation, if they showed merit, were supported to gain higher education.
The reality was, 'in the past' If we got the grades, off we went to uni with the full support of the state. I didn't have a penny from my parents. They couldn't afford it, and I didn't need it due to state funding.
I hardly think young people from my background today are in 'luxury' by comparison.

DC1 can work - he works in the holidays.

I really think you’re reaching by saying we have a poor welfare system. Look around the world then say that.

I'm not quite sure why you're telling the OP to use condoms?

In any case there is a 2% failure rate so they don't always work well. (and its higher where there's human error...).

We have a welfare system that doesn't provide an adequate level of income for people to achieve even basic standards of living.

Perhaps they're dead. Or working. Or live miles away. Or disabled. Or caring for other relatives.

Why is this relevant?

Well why would you think I am not aware of council working. I am well aware of it and have a lot of colleagues who work part time hours, compressed days, flexible hours etc.

Would your council employ someone who had been out of the workforce for years? Also someone that needs to get their disabled child to appointments every week, take time off at unpredictable times to care for them, and also not be at peak performance because they are getting 4 hours sleep per night?
Will their CV be at the top of the pile?

I genuinely don't understand how she's sucking the council dry? I'm assuming she pays council tax and has the same entitlement to council services as any local resident .

She already says there's no school transport for her DC. So how is she sucking the council dry?

I was talking more about public services as I’m sure you know.