How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

You need to encourage DC to go to a more local uni - within 2hrs drive so you can just go there & back in a day.

I am also unsure why you have gone on to have 5 children. Mine have no disabilities but we couldn’t afford more maternity leave, nursery fees, extra curricular etc. Surely you were aware UC stops being given to you at 18 when they either work or go to uni.

Do your kids work at all? Both mine have to. DD is saving for uni & DS says he doesn’t want to go.

I had 2 kids because that’s what we could afford. Don’t get any benefits, always worked.

You need to get a job. Oldest kids can get part time jobs.

5 kids.
Presumably you chose to have that many? Even without disabilities you’d have to have be very wealthy to support them without relying on state handouts.
As a mum myself who chose to stop at two kids and works 80 hour weeks to support them why should I support your kids too through taxes?
Clearly I wish them no ill will and they are here now and you need support but it is phenomenally selfish.

Because not everyone is born disabled. I have 2 adult children with disabilities. Both seemed perfect healthy when newborn. The oldest has become disabled in late childhood. The other has been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD and an anxiety disorder with severe OCD. Sometimes things aren't as simple as they seem.

I'm a home carer, zero hours contract. I choose to work 3 days a week, 0700-1300.
Zero hours is your friend. Choose what suits and fits in with your life

When my DS went to University we immediately saved £250 on our food bill! We were flipping shocked. We also saved money on our gas and electricity (not as shocked).

we give DS an allowance of £250 a month. Which he uses for his groceries.

When UC stops there will be 4 adults in your household of working age. More than 1 of you will need to work. UC is not there, and shouldn’t be, to support 3 adults not working. I’m assuming you are all 3 capable of working, as if not, why have they gone to uni?

@elliejjtiny has 5 children between the ages of 11 and 19. That's 5 in 8 years. So even her eldest was only 8 by the time the youngest was born. It's not always obvious that there is an issue.

I had 3 children in 3 years & 4 months. DD1 was only formally diagnosed with her disability once DD3 was born, although she was flagged as having an issue when I was 6 weeks pregnant with DD3.

DD2 wasn't acknowledged as having SEN at 9, although I suspected earlier.

So I had no way of knowing I was going to have 3 disabled children.

If you list down your income and outgoings, maybe people could have suggestions, if it is cost-cutting that you want to try and do?

I kinda thought this, too. But the two eldest can’t be that disabled if they’re going to uni.

I agree, I think the OP needs to do a mind flip, not what she can’t do but what she can do and job hunt accordingly - if the uni kids are at home they need to be contributing too from their maintenance loan

They could be very well supported at uni, in a way that may not translate to being supported in a working environment. This is something that the Government needs to do more about, especially as they seem to want more disabled people to work. I know some disabled people are able to be supported in work, but clearly not enough.

That's a very odd comment. Even when I went to university in 1974 there were students with quite severe disabilities. Disability doesn't mean that university isn't suitable, or that the student can't obtain a degree.

Even without knowing about the disabilities, 5 children is still a lot and obviously more than the OP can afford, as she’s been relying on handouts.

Are your children getting everything they are entitled to?

I think it’s a pretty safe bet they were already claiming UC before having a fifth child and before his income reduced. With 3/4 kids, even people on decent income can claim UC top up, especially when only one of the adults is on a decent income.

they are disabled

I think anyone would struggle with 5dc and two in uni…5dc is a bit much especially given then have disabilities! When were they all diagnosed? Hardly at the same time?!

But even without disabilities, 5 kids are expensive and you need to be quite wealthy to support them all in a decent life. The OP and her husband weren’t wealthy to begin with.

Most people only have one or two kids because that’s what they can responsibly afford. Even if they wanted more.

Also with 5 children with disabilities she has a lot of experience and hands on, at that. Fitting a zero hours job around your dp

It's a bit late for the op to have abortions so maybe what she needs is to know how to manage the situation she's actually in.

Unless anyone's got a time machine of course. In which case after the op has gone back and undone her children could I borrow it to go back and invest in amazon?

what's the point of going to uni, assuming getting loans, if not to join the workforce?

BTW, the OP says her husband was a manager until the youngest was born
He then became unwell and had to take a lower paid job, so it's possible that they could afford 5 children until then.