How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

She is mid 40s.

So is it the stretched benefits that are supporting the man at university now as well? Or is the part time working husband supporting the uni costs (which means the state is paying for the husband?)

Seriously, get jobs, get more hours.

How are they both getting 4hrs sleep each night... Only 1 of them needs to be on duty, the other can sleep or, heavens, work..

Stop sucking the council dry..

Child 6 possible then.

Unfortunately the DWP doesn't look at it like that. The assumption is that when a 'child' reaches adulthood, they are no longer their parents responsibility, so no longer form part of their parents benefit claim. The adult child is expected to self support via work or student finance maintaince loans. Being able to support one's children through uni is a luxury for the better off who aren't on benefits, unfortunately.

I hate that people AS others, because it is mainly to find dirt. But I just had a look, and it makes the posts on this thread even worse when you can see she mostly asks for support about her SN children, and has had lots of helpful replies. But you cunts will pick the on post that makes her look bad.
So I don't blame her for asking about how she will cope with a drop in household income and thinking MN will be helpful, because that is how it has been for her in the past.
And again, this is the Money board, not AIBU... the infamous nest of vipers board. If you want to rant about your taxes, then make a post elsewhere. You need to be really unhappy with your lot in life to jump on a thread like this and kick a desperate mum when she is down.

Yes, I agree with you on that. But most parents still prop up their young adult kids when they go off to uni.

That’s actually a good point in terms of children being affected by a whole range of things. It’s a shame we can’t or don’t do more for a wider range of children actually.

What I noticed working in schools was traumatised kids often presented the same or similar issues as certain ND kids. So two kids might have issues with processing, emotional regulation, organising thoughts etc but only one of them would get support due to them have the ND stamp but the other wouldn’t if it was “just trauma” unless they were care experienced.

In fact what I really wish is there were less shitty parents and less traumatised kids to start with.

How is being able to support your children at uni a 'luxury'?

It's a choice made by people who had jobs for years, often rubbish jobs, were prudent and saved. They paid tax on those earnings, every month. The 'luxury' is the opportunity of children to go to uni whose parents never did a thing, never bothered, drank it, smoked it, wasted it. In the past, the answer was 'no' to such children.

Blame the bloody parents, not the state, not the government for people's (children's) trouble in life. Feckless, lazy, entitled parents...

But how wonderful that those children, against such adversity, manage to get to uni. That’s how you change futures.

When I went to uni (I stayed at home), I had to give my student loan to my parents for my "keep"
That was 25 years ago, and I am still paying it off! (I dropped out the course too).

Well said

What’s the point of taxpayers funding them through university if they can’t get a job at the end of it though?

Yep, OP has 2 kids with disabilities who have been offered a place at uni and are going. One has a part time job too.
That is something to be celebrated, particularly when there is all the stuff in the news about NEETS.
I think maybe some people see OP has a large family and is on benefits, but her older kids are not NEETS, and they can't compute in their brains that someone can have a parent on benefits and still try to make something of their life.
It does not fit their narrative, so they get mad on here.
I hope OP's kids do amazing at uni.

What's the point of "them" being out in society at all? "They" could be cared for in institutions and none of the normal people would have to know "they" even existed.

Are you OK?

Having 4 or more children is fine if you can pay for 4 or more, and yourself, and your husband.

If every family with 4 or more who can't afford 1 would vanish in a cloud of smoke and save millions in benefits, I wouldn't mind at all. Unless they have been unlucky through illness or something out of their control. Then they deserve help.

Useless reproducing people with no jobs, pfff off you go.... I'd miles rather support someone from abroad claiming asylum and wanting to work than a home grown fertile waster.

Even able bodied/mind graduates are struggling to get jobs now.

If you had a disabled child that had a special interest in a particular topic and really wanted to study it at uni, and was predicted by their school as able to do so... you would tell them no, because they probably wont get a job because of their disabilities.
What a defeatist attitude to have, and really sad for the kid too.

They needn’t be worried about coming off benefits to start work. UC is paid five weeks in arrears, so your payment is based on last months earnings, meaning they’d never be left without a payment before their first wage if they moved into employment.

That’s an almighty stretch of what I said. The point of uni should be to get a job. There are plenty of courses people can do just for interest that taxpayers don’t need to subsidise.

Fucking priceless.

When our kid wakes up making all the noise during the night, in and out the bedroom, up and down the stairs, I shall make myself immediately deaf and just say it’s not my turn so I will sleep through it, despite not being actually able to.

I’ll tell my partner to do the same. Moving forward, we’ll sleep when we obviously can’t because of the aggravated child roaming about.

Better off euthanising them surely? If they’re in an institution the poor taxpayers still have to fund it.

You’re missing the point. Nothing “scary” about someone advocating for self responsibility.

When your fluffy rabbits and colourful rainbows filled bubble pops you’ll soon realise that…

But I don’t understand your point? When they chose to have a large family, they could support them. Things changed later. Shit happens.

Some jobs just want a degree. They don't care what it is in. Studying a degree shows a certain level of discipline and all the other stuff (I don't have one, so I don't know... but I know plenty of people with degrees in things that are totally unrelated to their job).