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How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

1000 replies

elliejjtiny · 26/05/2026 12:19

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

OP posts:
ChunkyMonkey36 · 26/05/2026 21:38

willingtolearn · 26/05/2026 21:33

About 'reducing disadvantage'

We have many many children with a whole range of disadvantages - disability is only one of these.

Where is the payment for children who have experienced domestic abuse or grown up with neglectful parents, who barely see their parents as they are both working full time to pay for what they need.

We need to provide ALL children with a decent lifestyle - not just a special few.

Make your mind up.

People should work to pay for their own children, but children with two working parents are disadvantaged?

I’m a full time working SENd mum, with a profoundly disabled kid in a specialist school.

Is he double disadvantaged or triple?

bafta16 · 26/05/2026 21:43

Pickledonion1999 · 26/05/2026 21:37

Agree, In my last job I've been working with elderly people and all they want to spend their attendance allowance on is a reliable gardener or cleaner.

Great but you have to get off your arse to do it.

HobGobblynne · 26/05/2026 21:44

willingtolearn · 26/05/2026 21:33

About 'reducing disadvantage'

We have many many children with a whole range of disadvantages - disability is only one of these.

Where is the payment for children who have experienced domestic abuse or grown up with neglectful parents, who barely see their parents as they are both working full time to pay for what they need.

We need to provide ALL children with a decent lifestyle - not just a special few.

Wow

PurpleLovecats · 26/05/2026 21:46

willingtolearn · 26/05/2026 21:33

About 'reducing disadvantage'

We have many many children with a whole range of disadvantages - disability is only one of these.

Where is the payment for children who have experienced domestic abuse or grown up with neglectful parents, who barely see their parents as they are both working full time to pay for what they need.

We need to provide ALL children with a decent lifestyle - not just a special few.

Other disadvantaged children get extra support, eg those who have been in care and rightfully so.
Society has a duty to try to bridge gaps. We are a community not separate entities.
We have 4 children. We did not discover their neurodiversity until the teenage years. I’m ND , diagnosed as an adult. I guess I missed signs as it was all normal to me.
We worked and supported our children. We had occasional UC top ups but nothing significant.
5 years ago I developed MH issues. I now am unable to work. Nobody knows what will happen.

Pibrea · 26/05/2026 21:48

Five kids ffs

Coffeeandbooks88 · 26/05/2026 21:49

willingtolearn · 26/05/2026 21:13

@HobGobblynne Disability Living Allowance (DLA) is a tax-free benefit to help with the extra costs of looking after a child (under 16) who has a disability, illness, or health condition and needs extra care, supervision, or has difficulty getting around

'Extra care, supervision'

The OP stated ASD and ADHD - they don't need aids and as for food - you have to feed them anyway as part of your parental responsibility - which the government helps you to do with child benefits and UC, plus free school meals, plus healthy food vouchers, plus school holiday additional grants.

Edited

She won't get half of that. You have to be earning very little although luckily school meals are available to all on UC soon in England.

BananaRama10 · 26/05/2026 22:08

Can you post your income and outgoings, maybe we can come up with some suggestions?

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It is our, society's business if they rely on benefits to raise 5 children.

You are being handed money that someone else has earned... It's meant to be a stop gap. Not an endless flow of money facilitating child 3, child 4, child 5, and getting the OP ever more further away from the world of work.

This woman knew child 1 was disabled. She knew child 2 was disabled. She knew child 3 was disabled... But she carried on having children requiring serious care and serious public taxpayer money to raise. Her husband also was involved so that's 2 adults churning out disabled children, knowingly.

Every birth the clock started ticking again from zero to the day she needed to go to the jobcentre... Back to 00.00.

She made her choices. Now she's poorer... But hardly starving. She's still getting thousands per month... She has a husband. They need to work out a plan. I'd advise contraception.

It's important the state helps people a bit, a blanket for a few months or years, but decades of huge payments to people who keep on churning out children whilst unable to pay for them is nuts. It's plain wrong. It's almost society being blackmailed where taxpayers have to keep on paying for feckless parents just so that the children don't suffer....

The OP needs a job. Now. Her benefits will drop as the kids age out, so whether she works now or later, she must work... Or be poor. Which a lot of working taxpayers and pensioners are today. Poor.

And yes, I don't care if she's poor in the future. I don't care if she has less money today. Tough. If a political party wants to cap the benefits in this scenario, yes, great. About time.

And no, she doesn't need any more enabling 'poor thing' treatment. She needs a cv, a bicycle and a mop and bucket. The husband can look after the kids whilst she's at work... It's only 3 with 2 at uni anyway, he can cope fgs. Might give them both a bit of dignity back :)

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:09

BananaRama10 · 26/05/2026 22:08

Can you post your income and outgoings, maybe we can come up with some suggestions?

I think OP has been scared off by the awful posters and comments on this thread, and I do not blame her.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 26/05/2026 22:12

5128gap · 26/05/2026 16:14

You have stopped getting child element for your DC because they are adults and so expected to live under their own steam. Have they applied for the student finance they're entitled to? They may need to give you an amount from this for their keep. Sounds harsh I know, but people who are on means tested benefits can't afford to subsidise their kids through uni.

It doesn't sound like her DC affording uni is her issue. She hasn't suggested that she will be expected to pay towards their time there.

She is worrying about the household she lives in having to live on a reduced income, as she is about to loose her 2nd load of benefits for DC2

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:14

BrokenWingsCantFly · 26/05/2026 22:12

It doesn't sound like her DC affording uni is her issue. She hasn't suggested that she will be expected to pay towards their time there.

She is worrying about the household she lives in having to live on a reduced income, as she is about to loose her 2nd load of benefits for DC2

Also, her DH is on less money due to illness.

itsgettingweird · 26/05/2026 22:15

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 19:48

They were deemed to be suitable for a Blue Badge. That is all there is to it. If you think blind people should not have one, then write to your MP.
Or better still, just be one of those twats that stands near the BB parking and tells people they don't look disabled.

This actually happened to my blind friend.

She was brilliant

stranger “you don’t look disabled”

friend “technically I don’t look at all” 🤣

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:15

Pibrea · 26/05/2026 21:48

Five kids ffs

Could be six soon... Would solve quite a few problems financially. Will replace that money 'lost' when eldest went to university.

She has the 'right' to have another child.

She has the 'right' to more taxpayer money when that happens...

We don't have the 'right' to query her rights, unless we, quite rightly, are fed up of paying for it. Again.... It's not right. But I know I'm right...

friendlycat · 26/05/2026 22:17

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:14

Also, her DH is on less money due to illness.

On another thread she states her DH got sacked for taking too much annual leave.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:19

itsgettingweird · 26/05/2026 22:15

This actually happened to my blind friend.

She was brilliant

stranger “you don’t look disabled”

friend “technically I don’t look at all” 🤣

That is fab 😆

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:20

friendlycat · 26/05/2026 22:17

On another thread she states her DH got sacked for taking too much annual leave.

Well, I am not in the habit of treating MN like some sort of detective work to catch people out by AS them and bringing up old threads... especially when times may have moved on a lot since them.

But this thread is full of ableist comments and is awful generally.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:21

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:15

Could be six soon... Would solve quite a few problems financially. Will replace that money 'lost' when eldest went to university.

She has the 'right' to have another child.

She has the 'right' to more taxpayer money when that happens...

We don't have the 'right' to query her rights, unless we, quite rightly, are fed up of paying for it. Again.... It's not right. But I know I'm right...

Her oldest is 19. I am not sure she will be having another soon. Or are you just assuming?

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:21

friendlycat · 26/05/2026 22:17

On another thread she states her DH got sacked for taking too much annual leave.

Of course he did. Another sob story...

They all have a sob story.

5128gap · 26/05/2026 22:22

BrokenWingsCantFly · 26/05/2026 22:12

It doesn't sound like her DC affording uni is her issue. She hasn't suggested that she will be expected to pay towards their time there.

She is worrying about the household she lives in having to live on a reduced income, as she is about to loose her 2nd load of benefits for DC2

No, I know she isn't expecting to pay for their tuition. But if she says DC1 costs just as much now, I'm assuming she is still paying for or towards their living expenses, food, travel etc, which is unrealistic in her position.
In theory the benefits lost to the household should be off set by no longer having the expense of keeping the newly independent child.

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:24

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:21

Her oldest is 19. I am not sure she will be having another soon. Or are you just assuming?

Assuming she's 37? 32?

Im assuming she can mop a floor, hoover, use a feather duster....

"Past behaviour is usually a good indicator of future behaviour"

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:24

5128gap · 26/05/2026 22:22

No, I know she isn't expecting to pay for their tuition. But if she says DC1 costs just as much now, I'm assuming she is still paying for or towards their living expenses, food, travel etc, which is unrealistic in her position.
In theory the benefits lost to the household should be off set by no longer having the expense of keeping the newly independent child.

There is the assumption that their kid will be getting a job and contributing to the house, or will move out.
I think uni is a bit different. I don't know any parents who see their kid move away to go to university that is still not supporting them financially in some way.

Crimpit · 26/05/2026 22:25

Diamond7272 · 26/05/2026 22:24

Assuming she's 37? 32?

Im assuming she can mop a floor, hoover, use a feather duster....

"Past behaviour is usually a good indicator of future behaviour"

She has said she struggles to maintain her own home. 4 hours sleep a night is not healthy and she will end up very ill.

Superstar22 · 26/05/2026 22:26

I would do everything you can to get better sleep. See the GP, read books about sleep, see about HRT, sleeping pills, anything to get you more sleep. That’s going to help you so much, good luck

Popsnafflerock · 26/05/2026 22:26

nearlylovemyusername · 26/05/2026 17:12

I'd suggest you spend some time reading.

Scandi countries tax lower and middle earners much more than we do. Their benefits are time limited and linked to previous contributions but also not means tested, unlike here, e.g. high earners have the same access to free/cheap childcare as lower paid. It makes social contract completely different.

ETA: OP is a perfect example of why people end up "needing" state support. And it's not a good case unfortunately.

Edited

I have sympathy for the OP it all sounds difficult.

But that’s interesting to hear about the scandi countries, their system sounds much fairer.

I think it’s massively unfair that here that say if you get made redundant from a job, if you own your house UC will just pay you a pittance. For a single adult with no dependents it’s as low as a few hundred a month.

You get the exact same as someone like my friends abusive ex who has been signed off for 15 years with a “bad back” and mental health issues since the day after she left him as he refused to pay a penny in child support.

Benefits being linked to contributions and being time limited is something they should think about here. It also helps people get into work if they’re earning more as they can afford to travel for interviews and buy interview clothes etc and knowing it’s for a shorter period of times is a good motivator.

I think the way things are now some people are even scared to come off benefit as the amount is so low they can’t save so then they worry about paying for things in the gap between leaving UC and getting their first paycheck

Popsnafflerock · 26/05/2026 22:29

friendlycat · 26/05/2026 22:17

On another thread she states her DH got sacked for taking too much annual leave.

That sounds odd - how does one even do that..annual leave has to be approved by a manager or HR usually surely? Unless he took an unauthorised leave of absence of course but then that’s not annual leave

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