Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@AMS19 @Mondaymonday249 I think knowing myself I’ll end up getting another early scan, I think my partner will be against paying for another private scan though due to the false hope it gave us. This sounds strange but the idea of finding no heartbeat at a private scan freaks me out, only because at the private scan I had last time baby went straight up on the big screen for me to see whereas with nhs scans they do the checks first before putting them on the screen. I think I would try and go via EPU next time, at my EPU they don’t scan unless you have pain or bleeding, but after my mmc the nurse said to me “between me and you, if you tell your gp you have some pain or bleeding they have to refer you” for next time I get pregnant x

@KJLM I am so, so sorry to read about your son. I can't even begin to imagine the pain. I'm sorry this happened.

Who knows if the caffeine will help us, but I am firmly in the mindset of 'make a plan' at the moment. And some studies have suggested it's obviously not great for the blood flow so I'm thinking let's just try EVERYTHING this time. But life is tough enough without making it really unbearable for ourselves so everything in moderation and you deserve your chocolate! I've cut the alcohol too. We will have a champagne and toast ourselves when life goes our way.

@Scottishskifun 14 weeks, I'm so sorry. Heartbreaking. I was 12 this time and it has been traumatic as I know it was a little person who just needed to get bigger. Hard to accept.

I'm pushing for progesterone and aspirin next time, if medically safe and approved by doc. Have others tried these?

@Jujujuberry we do every other day from cd10 to cd20 give or take. I have a 31 day cycle so typically ovulate around cd15-cd17 so this covers early and late ovulation.

@AndSal92 I’m so sorry you are going through this. Can you Amazon prime some cardboard bed pans and keep those in the toilet? Or even a small plastic tub that you could place in.

@DMT1982 I hope you get some answers soon from your testing xx

@MeganChar1 there is no current outbreak in Mexico and hasn’t been for a few years but the relevant health authorities have to flag the risk as it had it previously. I would travel to a country with no current outbreak but it’s a personal decision.

Still nooooo AF for me. PMS symptoms are off the scale. I’m having a day on the couch binging Netflix dramas

@MeganChar1 I think I probably will go for an early scan. Not because it would give me any reassurance (our fetus died at 11weeks) but because if it was an early loss, I could then get things moving quicker than waiting for the 12 week scan then finding out. I feel a lot of grief just from the time 'lost' on a pregnancy that didnt work out, so I think Id find it very hard if I got to 12 weeks only to find out the fetus had died much earlier. To be honest, I dont think a good 12 week scan would reassure me much either. Im extremely concious that an 11week loss is unusual and therefore concerned about an underlying cause.

@AMS19 I am with you here as I think my diet could be further improved and the mental side of things could be so overwhelming. I have my trusty yoga mat so I am going to try some new routines to relax and improve my general health.

Ugh I'm so sorry about your symptoms. My bump kept growing I know a lot of it would have been bloating too, but I'd never had the body changes before, and I did fully believe it was happening this time. I bought some things for pregnancy, but I'm putting them safely away for when it happens because I have faith that it will.

@MeganChar1 some people have great experiences with private, but mine was really rubbish as for 2 extra weeks I thought all was fine - looking back it wasn't a good scan but I was too inexperienced to know that. I thought no news was good news. The EPU are what you need and they will see you with bleeding or pain. Sometimes they like you to wait until you're past a very early stage so there will be more chance of an accurate diagnosis, but every postcode area is different and have their own processes.

@TheDaydreamBelievers So sorry to hear what you've been through. Did any testing happen? It is unusual but remember it is still first trimester (that thought may not work for you, sorry if that is an annoying thing to say.)

I had a recent late first trimester loss and am hoping so much it was just some kind of bad luck and next time I'll be in that 60% (or whatever it is) of successful pregnancies after loss. Same to you

So ladies got my blood results back! As of last Wednesday (6 weeks post MVA) my HCG was 9. This was the day I ovulated. So I think the view of "10 or below" for ovulation seems to be the case for me!

@Mondaymonday249 I've recently been offered testing for sticky blood, because its unusual for the death to be at that stage and this is one possible cause. Its apparently a new initiative my healthboard is doing. Need to wait until my period comes though because I'm in that stage of a cycle where I may or may not be pregnant, and they cant test in that stage. It also takes ages, so will mean a few months out of TTC.

@Jujujuberry Thank you and same to you. It's so comforting to know we are not alone. So sorry about your loss.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I hope I am offered that too. It's a postcode lottery of what you're offered but I will ask. And every single step takes ages, it takes such a lot of strength to keep going. I hope you're holding up ok.

@AMS19 interesting, is that your natural hcg level then? Or is it higher post MC? But you still ovulated?

Sorry for all the questions, it's an interesting topic!

@Mondaymonday249 no way of knowing. They class anything of 5 and below as definitely not pregnant, so still a little inflated post mmc, but my GP seems to think that's normal. He suggested a follow up blood just to see. I'm going to wait for my period to arrive (or not in a dream world) and have them retested then, so in about 10 days xx

Sorry @Mondaymonday249 and yes, going off the fact I had a LH surge (same day as blood test) and since my temp has risen I'm 99% sure I've ovulated (attached chart for reference)

@AMS19 ah that's right, 5 is the cut off point! That's great to hear you ovulated. Fresh start and all. I'm hoping to ovulate sometime in March and just try again straight away. I should probably hold off for RM testing but I'm going on the 'bad luck' path in my own head so we will see!

@AMS19 you seem to a pro with these charts, I know it's early days for me as only 2 weeks post D&C. When I start to track ovulation I've never used temperature how do I do this? Everyday or just certain points of the month?

@wag1987 you only really need to track a week or so before ovulation then could stop once ovulation has been confirmed. I'm doing it the whole way through this cycle though so I can see how my body is responding post miscarriage. I think I sent an explanation on this at the start of this thread? If not let me know and I'll see if I can find it for you xx

@wag1987 It took just over 5 weeks for my cycle to start after my evac surgery so hopefully not too long for you.

@AMS19 that's a good idea. I might do same.

@AMS19 that’s good news regarding hcg. Explains why you were still showing on a frer though. I’m sure the frer is 6 xxx

@Ralala yes and when I took the FRER 3 days after my bloods the line was basically non existent. If you really really squinted you could see it. So all looks in order! Hopefully a period would push it to below 5 too xx

I might do the same @AMS19 after cycle starts so I can work out what my body is going to do. I so want to be pregnant again and find myself googling absolutely everything.

@Mondaymonday249 ok that's not too long then although also seems a lifetime away when your waiting.

@wag1987 Yes, I do too. I would like to be pregnant again as soon as I can. I think that will help me heal although it will also be extremely anxious.

I totally understand re: time. Looking back it sounds fine but it felt like forever at the time, I remember it well.

@wag1987 I'm the same. I've done all sorts this cycle so make it feel like I've done everything I can. I'm trying to remember this is only my first cycle post mmc so it is fine if it doesn't happen and hopefully it will next time xx

@AMS19 am I right that the date of my D&C is day 1 in the cycle (as if it was a period? I've not tried anything this month as waiting for first AF then will go from there.

@wag1987 I didn't start tracking until I had a period but I think generally if you want to track before a period that's the best approach to use

@Mondaymonday249 @SuzieDeLaTour @AMS19 @Jujujuberry Thank you so much for your lovely messages, the hormones don't help but I'm totally welling up and feeling the love over here! I'm so sorry to hear so many of you are/ have been in similar positions - definitely the club nobody wants to be a part of but it really does make me feel less alone - I don't know anyone else in real life who has been through this more than once!

I do feel a little at the end of my tether now so think we may give it a break while the tests are done and to stop ourselves from going nuts, until now the doctor's advice has been to keep going but I think that will now change with this most recent loss.

I would definitely choose the surgical management if they give me an option but with covid I'm guessed they wouldn't want anyone in hospitals if they don't 100% have to - I hope they do offer it though that would be so much better!

I have my scan tomorrow to confirm and then will go from there - are there any questions you ladies think I should be asking at that? xxx

@AMS19 Ha! I was trying to work out whether there was a line or I’ve become so fixated on that second line I just see it even if it isn’t there!? 😀
I love how positive and proactive you’re being, I admire your discipline so much. I’m on all my supplements but have to admit the diet isn’t great...!
@Mondaymonday249 you’re so right - there are so many avenues. My dad always tells me not to worry about things that haven’t yet happened as it’s a complete waste of time and robs you of your joy...that said, he also told me my bleeding would be “nothing” and I’d be fine so I can’t believe in everything he says! 😝
@MeganChar1 I just don’t know what I would do when it comes to early scans. I would ideally hold off until I’m 9 or so weeks but then I might cave and just have an earlier scan for reassurance for at least that one day!! I definitely don’t think I could hold out until 12 weeks because finding out that something had gone wrong at such a milestone mark surrounded by lots of other pregnant women in the waiting room would be utterly devastating xx