Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@AndSal92 fingers crossed for you. I was booked into have surgery but it got cancelled twice because of covid and i ended up with a MVA as this can be done without GA. Whatever happens you are stronger than you think you are. You're absolutely going to come out the other side. Any option won't be easy but just take it one step and a time xx

Hi ladies,

I do apologise because I haven't read the whole thread but I found out this morning at a private scan that baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and there's no longer a heartbeat. I should be 9 weeks now. This is my first pregnancy and I have another scan tomorrow at the EPU where they will go through everything with me, but I was just wondering what my options are and what your personal experiences and preferences would be.

We're very upset and still processing but my partners being amazing and I know we'll get through it together. I'd just like to prepare myself for what might happen now.

Thank you ♥️

Hi @Madeoftea I'm so sorry. It is so tough. I found out at a scan when I should have been 9+5 I'd lost the baby around 7 weeks. I'd had a scan at 6+6 with a heartbeat so was awful.

There are essentially 3 options, surgical management, medical management and expectant management. I would strongly recommend reading the leaflets on these on the miscarriage association website as they'll give you lots of information. I had MVA, which is essentially surgical management but whilst under local. I would also encourage you to read this thread which was where some of us first met (this is our 4th thread if you include that one). It's full of amazing stories and helped me a lot:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?pg=1

Any questions between us we've had a mix of approaches so will be able to help. Sending lots of virtual hugs xx

@Madeoftea I should add, it's a very personal choice what route you go down. Generally, surgery/mva seems to be the preferred and most successful route. My MVA was painful but that was because I wasn't given the right painkillers. Apart from that I liked the idea of it not requiring general anesthetic but it being done in 20 mins and home within 2 hours. So with the right pain relief (pain killers in advance and gas and air during) I would reccomend. I'm now 7 weeks post MVA, had a period after 4 weeks and ovulated 7 days ago xx

@Madeoftea I’m so sorry you’ve had this awful news today. It’s such a shock and difficult to digest, I’m glad your partner is being amazing - it makes a huge huge difference. I’ve opted for surgical management twice, I was past 8 weeks with both pregnancies and my consultant said that before 8 weeks they often recommend natural but after 8 weeks an ERPC is more advisable because there’s a higher risk of blood loss / retained tissue. All the delightful stuff! 😢 personally I’m very glad I opted for that route as it was straightforward, painless and I felt like it offered me some sort of closure. I also didn’t feel strong enough to pass the sac at home if I’m honest and take my hat off to the women on here who have!! The EPU will talk you through everything tomorrow and in my experience they’ve been really helpful and kind in letting me decide what’s best for my body. Good luck and sending you huge virtual hugs xx

So my consultant called just now - I’m due to see him at the start of March for the results of my genetic testing but the report has come back early and they said I could bring my appointment forward if I wanted to know the results quicker. I’m just soooooo anxious now, I know I need to know but another part of me feels terrified to actually find out! Just don’t know what to do arrrghhh!! X

@SuzieDeLaTour I've often found with me the unknown is actually more stressful and my mind wonders to the worst case scenario. So if it were me I'd want to know as soon as possible so 1) I could stop my mind running away with things and 2) the sooner I know the sooner I could deal with it if there was something that needed to be treated xx

@Madeoftea sorry you have had to join us. Its very personal I was 14 weeks but MMC at 9 weeks. I opted for surgical but went into natural miscarriage before surgery.
My experience wasn't great, I ended up with high blood loss and in hospital. I am the extreme other end though and this definitely doesn't happen to most.

Definitely recommend reading up on the options and think about what you can handle whether you would be more comfortable at home or going into hospital.

@Madeoftea I am so sorry that you've had this awful news. It's great that you have support and you're having some time to process today.

I would echo @AMS19 and @SuzieDeLaTour; surgical under General Anaesthetic (Evacuation of Retained products of conception) for me was the best choice, but of course it is so personal to the individual. I would just add that I have had a miscarriage in the past two weeks and this option is not available due to covid. The surgical option in its place is MVA under local.

However, it ended up happening naturally at home which has not been as traumatic as I had feared. It is a long process and there is pain (manageable with painkillers) and of course depending on your emotions, this may be an upsetting method. I personally found it connected to me to the pregnancy this time if that makes any sense - this has undoubtedly made the whole thing more real so that has pros and cons as well, of course. From a practical point of view, it has been ok.

I hope you are holding up ok and whatever option you choose, you will be very well cared for by the hospital (I have always found this to be the case.)

Hi all,

So I'm cd27 now officially three days "late" and have been testing positive the past week. I even got a positive digital yesterday - but it was a false positive.

Today I went to a pre-planned appointment with the gynae consultant. All my tests have been "positive" but for residual HCG only and that's after having a period, ovulating twice since the ERCP and medical management for retained products.

My blood HCG result today was 7.3 and yet I was having clear positives on cb digital and cb non-digital tests. I'm having a repeat blood test on Monday and desperate for it to drop further and period to start otherwise more surgery on Tuesday to investigate any potential tiny fragments of any retained tissue causing to still test positive.

I'm sure I'm a rare case but it's just awful that the tests including digitals can give false hope and that HCG really can take months to get to

@dippyegg32 sorry, that sounds incredibly frustrating and stressful. It’s just so cruel why our bodies take so long for the hcg to drop below 5!

@dippyegg32 it is a real shame that the NHS dont really offer post MC HCG testing. Only urine strip tests which are less sensitive than FRER! I dont know what my HCG is at all, Im just hoping its low or null!

I'm still amazed about how much information some of you guys all got and how much its a postcode lottery.

I got a pregnancy loss leaflet a card with charity on it and sent on my way.
Didn't even get told to do a pregnancy test it's only from being on here that I knew to.

I have done most things off my own back such as setting up the counselling sessions.

@Madeoftea so sorry you’re having to go through this. I had a mmc on 18th Jan where it was 12 week scan but baby stopped at 7+4, I’d had a scan at 6+5 as well which showed a heartbeat. As well it was my first pregnancy, it’s something which I didn’t expect would happen to me. I was going to have medical management but changed my mind to d&c (surgical) due to hearing bad stories from medical. I had my d&c under local and it was fine, it wasn’t painful, I cried through it due to knowing they were taking the baby but it literally only lasted 10 minutes, I’ve heard that there’s less chance of retained tissue with surgical too. I was allowed gas and air, it didn’t hurt like I said but I think the gas and air chilled me out a bit x

Hello all.

Thank you for all sharing your stories. It’s really helping me to see how others are coping and know I’m not alone. It’s not easy sharing your stories, so thank you.

It’s certainly been a very difficult couple of weeks for me personally.

At my 12 week scan we were told that sadly that our baby stopped developing at 6-7 weeks and the words ‘I’m really sorry I cannot find a heartbeat’ still sinks my heart.

I was so zoned out, emotional and crushed over it that I wanted to go home.

After speaking to my family I decided to go back to hospital to take the tablets to bring on my MC.

After 7 days I thought the worse of the physical pain was over, bleeding was stopping and pain reduced. However, Saturday morning i started to V heavy bleeding. Serves me right for blowing my nose on toilet 🤷🏼‍♀️

My heart rate was a concerning 160 beats a minute! (Despite feeling okay within myself). Obviously my heart wasn’t liking how much blood I was losing

It all went a little crazy from there with around 2-4 members of staff around me at all times.

After ECG, blood tests and fluids I was quickly taken on to the early pregnancy ward.

I was only taken up as I generally looked and felt okay - which I think puzzled everyone! Due to the sheer amount of blood loss I had been having and my racing heartbeat combined.

I was grateful and glad to go to the ward where it was more private, as didn’t want to stay in the A&E cubicle.

They were so reassuring as I was always getting upset by leaving blood behind.

As soon as got on the ward they took me to a private room and quickly removed anything remaining from my cervix (we hope).

I was conscious throughout this and I can’t say it overly hurt (from what I can remember) just very uncomfortable and felt like light/ medium scratches.

Thankfully, it was over and I was told that I didn’t need to go to surgery and she hoped she had removed all remaining parts, but couldn’t guarantee.

Shortly after, I started to experience a terrifying funny 5 minutes.

My head and room was spinning, dizzy spells, I could barely breathe, gasping for air, was more and more difficult to keep my keys open, I felt immensely hot but super cold at the same time, I was told my lips went blue and my heartbeat reduced to 60.

I am pretty sure this was shock.

I have been incredibly lucky to have amazing support of family and some friends to pull me through it.

I have had a total of 3 weeks off work- returning meant to be on Monday. Today was the first day I have been on my own for longer than 2
Hours. I’ve done okay today. But yesterday and day before were really bad days.

I don’t know if I am ready to return to work. How do you know?

I’m worried I am going to be overwhelmed and break down but also not sure if the concentrating on something will do me some good.

How long have you all had off work?

I took a PG test (a cheap £1 one)- which did come back negative, should I do a clear blue as I know it picks up better. (Cheap one didn’t say I was pregnant but CB did)

Thanks and sorry for the long thread!

Appreciate it
Xxx

Oh goodness @Lalalaleigh what a dreadful time you've had. That 5 funny minutes sounds terrifying. I'm so glad you're ok.

In terms of testing, from my utter diabolical experience I'd work down in this order:
First check you've got a negative on a cb digital which is 25ml/u. If so, try a cb early detection (non digital) which is 10ml/u if stark white on there remembering they darken over time, try a FRER which is 6.3ml/u. If stark white on there you can assume you're negative though if you can get bloods to confirm the better.

I'm 10.5 weeks post surgery and still at 7.3

@dippyegg32 thank you! It was terrifying! Being my first too not sure how I feel about trying again at the moment - having nightmares over it.

Thank you so much- I will try that advice and get some CB tests in x

I’m sorry to hear it’s taking so long for you to show negative and that you have had a horrid experience — I hope it will get better for you xx

@Lalalaleigh I had 5 weeks off work and on a phased return to work. For me I knew I was ready when the thought of it didn't cause a high anxiety feeling and crying. I did have several thoughts of it might help but actually was way too soon and glad I didn't in the end.
Similar to you I lost a lot of blood and had the cervical procedure but was prepped for surgery due to the blood loss. For me the procedure was painful (I actually passed out due to the pain and blood loss at one point).

I am being watched for PTSD associated with it and looks likely that it has developed. I am taking my return to work slowly and have started counselling sessions to help.

Speak it through with your GP would be my recommendation. Big hugs!

@Scottishskifun agree with you about the postcode lottery! I'm Scotland top and after my MVA under GA nobody told me if it was successful, I never saw a doctor, I was left essentially alone in my side room and had to ask if I could get up to sort myself out, had to badger them to discharge me and was handed a leaflet..

Now I've had time to process it I'm not overly happy with how I was treated whilst in hospital! 3 different doctors asked me how many children I had before my procedure... How many times does a person who's just lost their first pregnancy have to say NO CHILDREN... Over the course of a few hours!

@TheHotelCalifornia feel free to join me! It really is the worst having to wait so long, I find myself jealous of people who had a natural miscarriage and can try again within a few weeks, how backwards is that! I'm ashamed to even write it!

I had a slight development today in the form of some very light brown spotting, I haven't had a hint of anything since my MVA so naturally my mind is running away with itself and I'm praying that means a period soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

How long have you been waiting for a period now?

@Scottishskifun definitely right re postcode lottery. I had my initial surgery privately because I wanted it over and done with instantly but I then transferred to the NHS as my consultant surgeon works in both and she was happy to continue my care. My op was 10.5 weeks ago and I've had follow up scans with her 1,2,4,6,10 weeks post surgery so I feel incredibly lucky and grateful for our wonderful NHS. I just wish NICE guidelines were standard across the country.

@Scottishskifun

I am so sorry to hear you went through this too- it was such a terrifying experience and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone!

I hope counselling is helping you too! You are strong and I am sure it will get better.

I have quite a high pain threshold and I cannot remember much of the procedure,
as such- think because of the funny minute turn was so scary that’s the thing that has in-bedded in my mind more out of the whole cervix procedure.

Thanks I am having similar reactions getting anxiety and crying the thought of returning - yet the guilt of not returning I also finding overwhelming.

I am feel like I am in a battle with myself over work
And then in the middle still struggling to come to terms with the loss!

I think that might be best to call GP and see what they say!

Thanks so much for reassuring and I hope
You also find peace and keep getting better too ❤️Xx

@Scottishskifun and @Pettylamby I am also in Scotland and it seems from my experience of speaking to numerous people that maternity services are just not at the level they should be. The service and treatment is just not appropriate and there seems to be a lack of empathy - perhaps because unfortunately it’s such a regular occurrence they have become immune to the human aspect of their jobs.

I had an MVA and have to say it was an ok experience as far as a procedure in such a situation can go. However there is NO aftercare. Like you I wasn’t told to take pregnancy tests and the only reason I’m getting a follow up check up is because I pushed for it.

@Scottishskifun can I ask if your counselling is through the NHS or private? (Apologies if you’ve said this)

Also ladies I can recommend “the worst girl gang ever” podcasts and Instagram

@KJLM it's through my work we have a employee assistance programme but it also comes with a counselling service which I was unaware of. Its limited to 6 sessions so will also be going through the GP.

Yes have to agree like you @pettylamby after all the trauma unit I was taken to a side room and left. Was told the medical team would be round to see me. I never saw them just the same midwife saying I could be discharged 6 hours later and a leaflet. No follow up, no information and nothing from the Dr's. I put some things down to covid but even so it's rubbish to not even find out basic information!