Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@Ralala same here, once I get my first period back we will just have fun and try not think about it. I love the tracking etc, but for me personally it caused me more anxiety.

Out of interest how often do you guys BD around fertile window, we did everyday for 5 days with my first pregnancy, then every other day with my second. :D

@JAM27 so sorry your here now too, its just devastating. Be kind to yourself, remain positive, but allow the emotions to come, just have the support you need. Big hugs xxx

Hi lovely ladies,
This is my first time posting so a little nervous but reading these threads has been such a comfort for me over the past year that I wanted to say hi!

I'm 29 years old, and we started TTC in March last year so coming up to a year now. Sadly we got pregnant 3 times and miscarried 3 times at 7, 5, 5 weeks. We were due to get testing done with Dr Quenby's team, however I got pregnant for the fourth time in the meantime so I was prescribed progesterone and scans every 2 weeks. Sadly at the 8 week scan on Friday I was measuring almost 2 weeks behind and the doctor was very kind but honest and said that it looks like I've miscarried again.

I'm booked back in this Friday for a follow-up to confirm but in the meantime have lost symptoms so I think it's pretty certain. I wanted to reach out as I just don't have anyone to talk to, all my friends seem to pregnant and I'm so happy for them but don't want to scare them with my story or make them/me feel awkward so they don't know a thing.

I haven't started bleeding yet and have been asked to 'collect' what I can for testing which to be honest I'm terrified about. Does anybody have any tips about how to do this without causing myself too much trauma, or has anyone been had similar experiences to me and got a diagnosis in the end? xxx

Hi everyone. So sorry we meet in these circumstances, but knowing you are all out there brings me strength.

I've recently had my second loss, late in first trimester. I have also had a number of chemicals so egg quality is my number one worry.

@AndSal92 I am so, so sorry you're going through this. I am thinking of you.
I recently had a natural miscarriage and saved the tissue for testing. Because of the stage my pregnancy had reached, it was clear to me what tissue I was looking for. I don't want to go into too much detail as I don't want to upset anyone. I put gloves on to pick the tissues up, put what I needed into a tub and kept it cold before taking to the hospital the next day. It was obviously very, very sad but it also made me feel connected to the pregnancy and thankful that the genetic testing might bring some answers. I hope you don't find it too traumatic. It was definitely heartbreaking but with a big rush of love for whoever that little person was and I said goodbye. The testing is a positive step forward in your search for answers. I wish you the best.

Morning ladies

@MeganChar1 sounds really sensible. Are you going to a part of Mexico without Zika? I'm sure you've checked but worth making sure if you're planning to go pregnant when you travel there

@JAM27 hi! I'm really sorry. Ww all totally understand how you feel. How has it been overnight? It's great it sounds like it's working. I didnt have medical management but from what I've heard it's best to take all the tablets and have a good clear out, as retained tissue is very very common with it. Really hope you've passed the worst though

@AndSal92 oh I'm so sorry!! Gosh what a journey. You're such a brave brave lady to keep trying. I'm glad you're getting tests done to help. Will you know refrain from TTC until you've had them? Mine was a missed miscarriage and I ended up having MVA at 11+1 (found out at 9+5) so afraid I can't help with expectant management. For me, I couldn't bare the idea of waiting any longer so wanted intervention instead. Sending you lots of love

@mondaymonday249 hi. I'm sorry you've had to go through this again. After all the chemicals I can only imagine the hope of getting thay far along. Are you taking anything for egg quality? Chemicals count towards miscarriages under NHS guidelines so you'll be eligible now for recurrent miscarriage testing

Sending all the new ladies lots of love xx

@AMS19 yay pleased you’re enjoying the Gusto meals. They are really easy to make aren’t they and feel like a real treat.

Any blood results yet? I’ve not caught up on the entire thread at the mo but will do later on.

Little update from me. Went to see the gastroenterologist last night and he said that he wants to do more bloods and more stool samples. Bloods to check my vitamin D, B12 and calcium levels plus folate levels and stool sample to check for Chrones and colitis. Once they are done and back he will see whether there are any markers to show I may have Chrones/colitis. He didn’t mention coeliacs and also said if the results are all ok then it’s not a gastro issue as such and he spoke about my mum having discoid lupus (skin lupus) and I should get tested for that. Lupus is an auto immune disease which I do not want to have. He asked whether my obstetrician had asked about lupus but I said I never got that far and only saw a midwife.

He did say the gastro issues would have probably started when I had food poisoning in 2018 and then because I was never treated for it then it has caused issues. He’s said to try a dairy free diet for a week and said after a week I’ll know if it’s that’s causing symptoms or not. So we have the ball rolling and he agreed about not TTC until I’ve found a diagnosis to save more heartache if it’s something I need treatment for xxx

@MeganChar1 oh it’s so tough hearing announcements. I would have been due early August and even when I came on to mumsnet one of the first threads was pregnant women due in august. Arrrghhh!!!
It’s such a personal choice whether to try again or not. We tried immediately after my last MMC and fell pregnant straightaway. This time I’m waiting for my period and I must say I feel much more anxious. I know I’ll be panicking if we fall pregnant again. It took 8 months of trying and I’m 37 so a big part of me feels like I just need to get on with it but there’s another part of me which will dread the first 12 weeks and constant checking for blood 😞 there’s something quite nice not going to the toilet and panicking about what I’ll find every time I wipe now!! 🤦‍♀️
@JAM27 I’m so sorry you’ve had to join this thread. You’re right in the eye of the storm at the moment so take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. There will be lots of emotions so just go with it and allow yourself time xx
@AndSal92 oh my love! What a horrid year you’ve had 😢 I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this so many times. I’ve had two and both times I’ve opted for surgical so I can’t give you any advice but I echo what @Mondaymonday249 said - hopefully this will take you one step closer to getting some answers. Sending you virtual hugs xx

@SuzieDeLaTour oh bless you. It’s such a horrible thing to go through, one of my main worries is it happening again. I had no symptoms of mc with mine and we’d even had a scan at 6+5 which showed a heartbeat so I really dread the 12 week scan next time and just hearing them tell me there’s no heartbeat. I think this time we need to wait before trying again because of all the other stuff we have going on but if it does happen again we will probably just keep trying after that. Really hope it doesn’t happen again though!

@AMS19 I’ve looked into it and there’s no current outbreak of zika in Mexico but there has been in the past, it’s another worry of mine. Unfortunately we can’t change the date because we are going for a family wedding so it’s not in our control. The date has already been changed twice as well due to Covid, we were meant to go in May 2020. I’ll have to just worry about it nearer the time and if worse comes to worse I won’t be able to go but hopefully it won’t come to that x

@DMT1982 hello lovely. That's great things are moving and you're getting lots of tests done. I imagine it's a double edged sword...a diagnosis wouldn't be good as there would be something wrong. But a diagnosis means you can get treatment and a mmc would be less likely next time. Whatever the outcome, it will be good to have a clear picture of what is going on. Keep us updated!

No news on bloods 🙄 now been more than a week so I've chased. It will absolutely be my doctors sat on them, they are such a pain! I'm less rushed about it as I've pushed back my referral to go for a scan pending this cycle. I'm really hoping for a good cycle, regardless of outcome. I may then go for a scan post period to have a good look at what's there but I'll see how I feel. I'd much rather avoid EPU given the traumatic memories

@SuzieDeLaTour how are you getting on?

Xx

@AMS19 I’m ok thanks lovely! Tested with an IC this morning and it’s come up (pretty much) negative yay!!! Well maybe just the very very very very very faintest of line, but I think I might be imagining that! My DH can’t see anything though obviously he didn’t study it as hard as I did 😂 I left it a week to test as I found myself getting a bit anxious and constantly wanting to test and make sure the line was getting fainter 🤦‍♀️ I’m going to wait until I’m 6 weeks post op to test with a FRER. Really hoping my period comes before then - just want it done with now so I know I’m in a fresh cycle.
How’s the TWW going? Have you joined any other TWW threads? I’m half excited / half terrified to be back in that wait 😁 xx

@SuzieDeLaTour great news on the ic. I swear I can always see a line now! Yes definitely wait for the FRER, 6 weeks sounds sensible. Hopefully not long for a period then back in the game. I'm trying really really hard not to put pressure on falling pregnant this cycle. I am just breaking it into milestones. Would love a good LP length, ideally 10 days or more. So taking each day as a win. Whatever happens. I've only been taking ubiquinol for 8 weeks too so another benefit would be another 4 weeks of working on those eggs 😊 I've ordered 2 bottles of my fav red (19 crimes) ready for a period and plan to have steak and sushi too. So really mentally focusing on it not happening and embracing the journey. p.s. I'll still cry and feel gutted when period arrives! And no staying well away from anything TTC related. I cant handle the pressure! Xx

@AndSal92 I’m so sorry you have been through so much, sending you loads of big hugs and love xx I miscarried naturally at 7+4 weeks..I was on the toilet when it happened, you will feel it coming, so just grab alot of tissues and catch it, I sent my GP a photo and he rang and said he’s sorry it does look like conception tissue. We didn't send it for testing, but earlier that day my GP had done an internal exam and my cervix was open more than he liked. I would recommend to put yours in a container with no tissue around it as the tissue started to stick to it (sorry tmi) its just so heartbreaking, be strong, you got this xxx

@Mondaymonday249 my heart goes out to you, I’ve also just had my second MC and its just so sad, and scary. I was in shock this time, as one day we saw bubs heartbeat, the next I was miscarrying.

It’s nice to know we are all here for each other, we can and WILL get through this!!

@AMS19 I love that you have sushi to treat yourself with, but fingers crossed you wont get to eat your sushi!!! 🙏❤️

Hello ladies I’ve just caught up on this new thread- I’d also typed a massive response but then for some reason my phone reloaded the page and my message disappeared 🙈
Hi to all the new members of the group. I am so so sorry for your losses and hope that this group brings comfort- I’ve only been on mumsnet a couple of days and this group seems a great support!
It’s also so interesting to hear different tips. I had no clue about POM juice but will get myself to supermarket today! I’ve been drinking grapefruit juice as I’d read it was good for cervical mucus. I’ve tried tracking bbt but because I get up at different times of day I don’t think it’s particularly accurate for me.

After seeing that a lot of you did pregnancy tests after procedures I took a Clearblue digital test on Tuesday- it’s all we had in the house. It came back pregnant 1-2 weeks. That was 2 weeks post MVA. I had thought it would have been negative by then as I’d read online that having been about 6 weeks gestation when the pregnancy stopped (even though procedure was at 9 and a bit weeks) it said by two weeks after hormone should have disappeared. So I ordered the easy@home strips and did one this morning and it seems darker than I thought it would be? I’m now sure I didn’t ovulate last Friday when I got peak solid smiley face first time. Has anyone else experienced this?

@KJLM hi! Your hcg levels will most likely continued to increase even though your baby passed away early. My baby passed around 7 weeks, found out at 9+5, had mva at 11+1. My strips like your one took about 4 weeks to go negative, and my first response 5.5 weeks. Unfortunately it does take a look longer than you think. Your ovulation test could have been picking up hcg and getting confused too. I had very dark OPKs after 3 weeks which was definitely hcg not LH xx

Thank you @AMS19. Isn’t it strange how you’re normally wishing for that line to be there but now you’re wishing for it to go away. I think I’ll not test again for a while (pregnancy or ovulation test) and just keep doing the deed every second day 🙈 I’ve got a check up next Friday so I’ll maybe ask at that appointment for them to see where I’m at.

@KJLM honestly it's such a rollacoster! When I took my last FRER on Sunday I was SO happy to see it negative. But now hope the next time I take one its a blazing positive! 😂😂

@AMS19 so I was referred for RM testing last July! But with Covid and NHS pressures I hadn't really got these fully underway, I'd just had some bloods. All looked fine (well, the things they tested for.) Then I fell pregnant and it looked like a strong one: heartbeat and measurements were good, bump/bloating was growing so got myself some maternity clothes etc...but the minute the spotting and cramping started I just knew. I have been taking a variety of supplements but I think I'm going to read today and see if there's anything else I can do. I'm also going to try and cut caffeine. I know my morning latte isn't the problem. But I'm in the zone of ACTION to push out all the other thoughts that I cannot entertain! My MC is still ongoing - day 11. Sadly it started naturally or I would absolutely have had surgery. I had it for a previous pregnancy and it just gets it done. (Although it's MVA as opposed to EVAC at the moment. I found EVAC to be the best of all the horrid options. Let's hope neither of us has to make that wretched choice again).

@DMT1982 Hopefully the diet change will give you some positive changes and you do not have Lupus. They will always lay out the possibilities as we know, which can be so scary to hear. I am hopeful your diet changes will help. If it was brought on by food poisoning, hopefully a diet change can go some way to helping and repairing.

@SuzieDeLaTour the 'time' panic is awful but I keep reminding myself how many avenues there are to support us and that with every day we take our supplements and try to be healthy then we are preparing ourselves as best we can. (She says as she internally rages about NHS waiting times and lack of contact with my RM consultant and remembers yesterday's 3 coffees...)

@MeganChar1 I'm with you. I saw a heartbeat and was told low risk of miscarriage. It's quite a thought to be in that 2% or whatever it is depending on the week/situation. Surely next time we will be on the other side of that statistic.

@Mondaymonday249 it’s made me question about getting an early scan again but equally it’s a long time to wait for 12 weeks. I think I’d wait til at least 8 weeks next time.

What are people’s general thoughts on early scans for falling pregnant in the future? Is it worth the risk of getting false hope from seeing a heartbeat and then possibly miscarrying?

@Mondaymonday249 I took the decision to cut caffeine and switch from normal tea to decaf tea- for the first couple of days I hated the taste but then soon it just tasted like normal. I’m not a coffee drinker but hopefully it’s an easy switch. My issue is that I want to quit chocolate to remove more caffeine but let’s be honest there’s not much to enjoy in lockdown so I’ll keep with the chocolate since I’ve cut all alcohol out my system.

My consultant suggested just trying different things more for the mental aspect of coping. So in our next pregnancy we’ll get progesterone- I don’t have any deficiency but I asked about it and he said it wouldn’t do any harm so he’s happy enough to prescribe.

I didn't have an early scan so didn't know I had miscarried until 14 weeks (heartbeat stopped at 9 weeks). For me I will be booking a scan at 10 weeks getting to 14 I stupidly thought I was safe I had zero drop in symptoms. I don't think I could face getting to that again and scans up my way are late at the moment due to covid.

@MeganChar1 I think it’s totally individual preference at that specific period of time and stag of pregnancy- although ptsd for scans is definitely a thing!!

In all honesty for me a scan will give me reassurance at that particular time of the scan - I am now very heightened to the fact that something can go wrong at any stage of pregnancy. Because our son was stillborn at term we will be high risk (even though there was nothing wrong with him) and we will be offered weekly scans if we wish. So although my husband and I will have anxiety through the roof every time we go for a scan for those minutes when we see it all going well (and I say “when we see it” because I’m trying to be positive and affirm for a future pregnancy) we will have some form of hope.

@KJLM @MeganChar1 for me, I will still get the private scans as no way could I go to 12 weeks not knowing, but I'll view them differently. I was a heartbeat too at 6+6, and everyone told me I was then safe. For me I'll just see them at milestones and not an indication of the likely outcome. I would want to get surgery ASAP if it happened again. I'll probably have a scan 7.5 weeks and 10 weeks I suspect, but won't hesitate to have more if I feel mentally I need them

@MeganChar1 I have previously used a private scan clinic and they gave me false reassurance so I will never use that type of clinic.

But I would definitely still want an earlier scan if I had any worries (IMAGINE being pregnant and no worries - impossibility for me - I bled throughout both of my clinical pregnancies) so EPU all the way! They are just the best and so caring - but also just tell you straight.

Interesting thought about false hope though. I do see what you mean. But I just think for me, I couldn't bear the significance of the '12 Week Scan' and having the bad news at it. I was due mine earlier this week, but managed to have MC diagnosed at EPU 2 days earlier which was psychologically easier for me. However, we all have different coping strategies so definitely do what works best for you at that time

@Mondaymonday249 it's so tough isn't it when everything looks great then it's gone. My symptoms continued to get worse and worse after baby had died. The sac continued to grow too, my body had no idea clearly!
Cutting out caffeine is a good idea. I never went back to caffeine post my mmc so I've stuck to decaf. I do treat myself to a bit of chocolate now and then though. I'm following a gluten free, medderterranean diet too. I'm also doing seed cycling, drinking pom juice and eating pineapple core. Next cycle (or as soon as its allowed) I'll also start fertility reflexology to hopefully help things along the way. For me, and like your GP says, it's mainly mental. I need to feel like there is a reason next time could be different with a different outcome, and that I've done everything I possibly could to make it successful xx