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Original poster

Anyone doing or done the internet dating thing?

214 replies

MrsSnape · 01/10/2008 21:31

Getting sick of spending all my time alone. I never go out anywhere to meet anyone though so at the moment it seems this is the only way to go.

Have tried it a few times before but never had much luck, I've never put much effort in though and have always done half arsed profiles and usually no pic

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 01/10/2008 21:33

yes you need a pic and you need to send lots of emails to people wyou fancy

i am datring a pof and have been for a year

Original poster
MrsSnape · 01/10/2008 21:35

Thats another thing, I never sent any emails out before, I was scared they wouldn't reply and I'd end up looking daft/desperate

Do women send first emails out too then?

OP posts:
flamingnora · 01/10/2008 21:38

My advice is go for it! I met my DP (of 5 years) on an online dating service. One of my mates met her bloke 2 years ago the same way. We're both really happy - it worked for us! Not only that, but I can honestly say that I enjoyed dating - even when I didn't fancy them in the flesh etc, I met some really interesting nice people. Good luck!

allgonebellyup · 01/10/2008 21:50

yes of course they do!!!! what century are you living in????

i send loads of emails to blokes i like the look of, and i would say that 95% of the time they do reply. Although sometimes you can be chatting to a bloke for several days, they Whoooooooooosh they just vanish..

i asked my ex out, and the ex before that!

If i ever sat there and waited for men to make the first move i would still be a virgin.

zippitippitoes · 01/10/2008 22:16

yes only yuks mostly mailed me

but i emailed my bf first then he moved thing s along lol he is loverly inteligewnt good looking tall sporty gsoh etc sexy

misi · 02/10/2008 00:51

I met my ex through an online site, not exactly a dating site but definately a chat site.
now that my current g/f is to stay in the ukraine as her young son is homesick and is unlikely to come back, I would not let the way I met my ex put me off interent dating if I decide to ''take the plunge'' again. don't use it as the only way to meet someone but treat it like a night out somewhere. you meet all sorts of people in many different places and a recent study of these suggests that internet dating is no more dangerous than meeting someone at the pub/club/anywhere else for the first time.

might be useful not to talk to too many blokes at once though. my mate from uni did this, she was chatting to 9 blokes at the same time and one day, she wrote the wrong name and wrong details down in a message to the bloke she thought was the nicest one, funny thing, she never heard from him again, oops!!

bigmommyof2 · 02/10/2008 22:23

I started on plenty of fish back early this year, met a few people - some nice ones and that, some I still keep in touch with as there was no "spark" between us sexually, but got on as friends - and everyone needs friends !!!
I met my OH on that site over 6 months ago and couldnt be happier after seeing him a month I deleted my profile as I didnt want to meet anyone else
go for it, you have nothing to loose, just pick somewhere safe if you do meet anyone. Be honest with your profile and email the blokes - if they dont want to reply thats their loss.

Good luck

lou33 · 02/10/2008 22:25

had lots of dates from it, you definitely need a pic, and only accept messages from those who provide a pic

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 03/10/2008 00:06

misi - see the key is to start talking to them, and then just say where is it your from again after a while etc but always be honest - or ask questions in a round about sort of a way to get the info you need to work out who they are again!

all I say is open mind with it. I've done several sites, talked to prob about 50 or so various men, met about erm, 10 maybe (if that) dated 3 of them, once for a week or so - nob end, one for about 6 weeks, (bigger nob end!) and current beau (lovely & fantastic) for 3 months or so.

talk to lots of people and keep things on a friends basis as if you were having a bit of a laugh with the girls on here in chat sort of thing. don't give too much about yourself away.

I think thou out of the ones I met online, beau is the only one who doesn't have isshoos ie. possessive, controlling, loads of baggage, insecurities etc etc. Take things on face value, but to a degree don't trust what's said until you're sure.

oh and most importantly meet in a public place. - and tell someone & give them his number etc.

lostdad · 03/10/2008 08:34

I use a couple of them on and off. I've been out with a few dates and made at least one friend (although that'd have been more if she'd been interested ).

I always get the impression that a lot of people are looking for the one' over the internet which always strikes me as a little unrealistic. I'm quite happy to meet up with people who I wouldn't consider perfect' for me because meeting them in the flesh is a big difference to talking via email/phone/anything else. Sometimes it's been worse than I thought, sometimes better.

It often strikes me that there are a lot of lonely people sitting on their own at night, who would be happy with someone else (who is also sitting on their own at night) but nothing happens because they're hung up on meeting `Mr/Ms Perfect' - so they both end up alone rather than enjoying companionship and human warmth they're looking for.

Anyway...anyone interested? I've got all my own teeth, don't gamble, don't take drugs, don't drink much (enough?), am a gentle soul at heart (the DV claimed by the ex being a lie, naturally), own my own house, earn a reasonable wage and want the proverbial wife and 2.4 children. Any takers, apply to....

Tinkerbel6 · 03/10/2008 10:12

Don't be shy with the photos lostdad

I don't think its all about looking for the one on dating sites, I think a lot of women are trying to filter out the weirdos so are guarded in not meeting up straight away, im sure men are just as guarded aswell

zippitippitoes · 03/10/2008 10:28

i dont think people are looking for the one

i did want to hook up with someone i fancied tho

i couldnt seem to attract anyone within 15 years of my age

the ones that contacted me were almost all older or in their early twenties

the ones i contacted were spread in age but the only ones that seemed to be interested were 31 to 34

very weird

i only met up with two her both 31

one of them became my boyfriend the other i sleptwith a few times but he was an arrogant twat

lou33 · 03/10/2008 10:32

i'm not looking for mr right, but mr right now will do

citylover · 03/10/2008 10:44

I am meeting up with a 33 year old next weekend. We have been emailing and texting for a while now since before I went on holiday in August actually. I really fancy him but don't have any expectations of him being the one or even serious relationship. Would be happy with a casual thing.

But have decided I am not looking for anything serious onine, but def want to 'go with the flow'.

Now I've decided what I want/my strategy I am feeling alot happier.

Cos it would have to be a really exceptional and tolerant man who would take on my DCs and for me to be happy with a man in my space.

I am also very worried it would end up like my marriage and what effect that might have on the DCs.

solo · 03/10/2008 10:50

Met my Dp on the internet and although it's not the ideal relationship, we've been together for 4 years this month. Give it a try.
You do need a good profile and some good photo's on there though. People often don't bother looking if you have no visual carrot so to speak. They will assume you are a minger because you haven't shown yourself. Sad but true.
Also, there are loads of just looking for a shag men(and women)out there, so if that's not your thing, make sure they know that.

Good luck!

zippitippitoes · 03/10/2008 10:53

there are also quite a lot of married men probably women too but didnt check those out

i think there were three married men i arranged dates with and then got suspicious before we met up

one was a german guy who couldnt see anything wrong in the idea as he was coming over here and his wife would still be in germany

solo · 03/10/2008 11:05

Oh yes! the married ones...I told one off once. Asked him what on earth he was doing!!! LOL! he says(we still chat IM occasionally)I made him think and put him straight. He's lovely(though we never met in rl)and I'm glad we 'met'.

lou33 · 03/10/2008 11:07

citylover good luck with your date

you have the right attitude i think

citylover · 03/10/2008 11:19

Thanks Lou - it has taken me quite a while to get to this point though!

Also went on a date last Sunday very nice guy but the chemistry just wasn't there as far as I was concerned - we managed to talk for four hours though!

And still pining for on/off ex bf but of course life goes on!!

lou33 · 03/10/2008 11:24

it does indeed

i have lots of dates i guess, some i dont see again, some become good mates, some there is more than a friendly attraction, but none of them are what i would view as anything long term, but i'm not bothered really

as long as you are enjoying yourself the long term thing doesnt matter

allgonebellyup · 03/10/2008 11:29

i have a date in an hour!

Not that i am expecting anything to come from it, he looks like Will Young..but he is very funny so far and i felt like having something to do today as had nothing planned!

ive only been chatting with him this morning!

allgonebellyup · 03/10/2008 11:30

God i woke up with loads of spots today and horrible hair, and i am about 10yrs older than my photos!!
He will get a fright ("think i better leave right now")

zippitippitoes · 03/10/2008 11:31

i really wanted to do the dating thing..sadly i couldnt persuade anyone to date me

i am jealous of people who have managed the dating thing i was looking forward to it having only had very long term relationships of 23 years and 8 years

i have never done dating

allgonebellyup · 03/10/2008 11:32

ooh i would only do dating now, nothing serious again.

I have 2 more dates lined up, i am now a date slag!

zippitippitoes · 03/10/2008 11:33

i cant work out how people manage to get dates tbh...lou always seems to be able to arrange them at the drop of a hat