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Pamela thread 3 - Bile Duct Cancer, off to London!

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 05/07/2023 22:51

Just starting a new thread.

OP posts:
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84
Pegsmum · 06/07/2023 16:51

Faith, hope and love Pamela-no justification needed. x

ThatSunCreamSmell · 06/07/2023 16:53

Happy birthday for tomorrow! I hope you can get some fresh air tonight even if not a restaurant. I love that the doctor even suggested it though, I would take that as a huge positive ❤️ xxx

huntingcunting · 06/07/2023 16:54

What a lovely room that is Pamela!

NuttellaAndPuppyLover · 06/07/2023 16:57

Dear Pamela

I'm sorry I was one of the people who suggested financial help. It wasn't about making myself feel better, but about being able to do 'something' to help. Let's move past this and not let it take away the sincerity of your posts.

You look beautiful on the photo. Tired, yes, but beautiful and strong. Your story has touched so many of us because it shows how quickly your life can change. After going through cancer myself with a young child, it is a stark reminder of what could have been. And I so wish you are able to do the same one day.

I'll go back on my novena for you and wait for your update as soon as you feel able to.

Keep strong and keep smiling x

Gingerbreadandtea · 06/07/2023 16:57

Pamela I lit a candle in my local church for you today, thinking of you. I have lost so many people to cancer and reading what happened to you and the failures of the health system broke my heart. Thankfully you have a chance now and you are grabbing it with all your heart. Don't worry about some posts, concentrate on you and your family. We are here routing, wishing and praying for you.

99redballoons123 · 06/07/2023 17:02

Hi Pamela, you've been in my thoughts all day. I'm so relieved to see you moderately comfortable and safely in London. Sending love and strength as always from Denmark.

MNHQ- do better Angry

dancingdaisies · 06/07/2023 17:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 06/07/2023 17:05

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This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

I 100% agree.

Poor form Mumsnet. Poor form.

Gracesquirrel · 06/07/2023 17:05

Delurking to say DH and I visited Hereford Cathedral today and while I was there I lit a candle and left a prayer request for you and the family - its not something I have ever felt moved to do for someone I don't know before but a voice whispered in my ear to do it. So I did.

Karmakamelion · 06/07/2023 17:06

Hi Pamela
I'm so sorry that some people doubted you but unfortunately it's a symptom of the world we live in rather than an attack on you.
You are beautiful and even more importantly you are brave and stronger than you are giving yourself credit for.
You are in my prayers and I hope tomorrow goes well xx

Tinyplant · 06/07/2023 17:07

Wishing you the best of luck with everything, Pamela.

I know Prof Bridgewater (peripherally) professionally, and he really is the absolute leading expert in his field and a lovely chap to boot. I was so pleased when you posted you were travelling to see him. Onward and upward, and positive thoughts.

BiteyShark · 06/07/2023 17:09

Pamela as soon as people mentioned a go fund it was inevitable that MN would post.

It isn't anything you have posted. I get the heighten emotions but don't take it personally and don't feel you need to prove anything.

Draw a line under it and get back to your journey.

I remember the bloating and vibrant yellow eyes from my DM. I hope the stent goes well and you get some relief.

I am so glad you are being cared for right now. I have had surgery privately and the extra things do make a difference as to make you feel more human when you are at your most vulnerable. I came back from surgery and had a nice steak dinner which DH was staggered at as he is always nauseous after surgery and can't eat 😁

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 06/07/2023 17:11

I have reported MNHQ's post to themselves for being heartless and disrespectful. Please also report if you are as annoyed as me!

Sending limbs and positive thoughts for tomorrow Pamela. I hope the stenting goes well. And please don't feel like you need to "prove yourself" to us.

ASimpleLobsterHat · 06/07/2023 17:12

Dear Pamela, I've been watching your threads and wishing you the best. I haven't commented until now but I just wanted to say how amazing I think you are for coping with all of this with such grace. I'm so pleased you are finally in a hospital that is doing something for you and I am hoping and praying that it all works and you start to feel more human soon. Sending love to you and Kerr and Jacob from Bristol Flowers

loulouljh · 06/07/2023 17:14

Onwards. Did you manage to get a new flavoured tea?! Hope you manage to get out a little later on...some fresh air is always good for the spirits.

Inkpotlover · 06/07/2023 17:14

I'm so sorry you felt compelled to share your photo to prove you are genuine.@MNHQ should've done more due diligence before posting a comment which in its ambiguity makes it sound like you might be faking it for money. Not a cool move, MN.

WasIBad · 06/07/2023 17:16

FFS MNHQ - what a bloody awful thing to post! Seen your apology but the damage has been done.

Pamela - ignore it. We all know you're genuine and a fucking amazing person for being so stoic through this absolute nightmare.

Thinking of you xxx

IMustDoMoreExercise · 06/07/2023 17:18

❤❤❤

Thinking of you Pamela xxx

LoisPrice · 06/07/2023 17:21

Gosh how beautiful you look @WilsonMilson, but Kerr looks a bit shoddy - let him have the bed and get some rest!!

EarringsandLipstick · 06/07/2023 17:24

I wish pps had not offered money. As soon as they did I feared this would happen.

I agree.

And to those posters blaming MNHQ, stop. They did what they had to do & were sensitive & supportive in their post. It's not easy for them to balance the different requirements.

Pamela, you look beautiful, despite being so ill. You're an amazing person & you write beautifully. I wish you every luck tomorrow and am glad MN has provided you with comfort ❤️

UkuleleRose · 06/07/2023 17:25

Lovely, strong Pamela ~ all the love and prayers I have are going to you right now. 💕

KeziaOAP · 06/07/2023 17:25

Sending positive thoughts for tomorrow and Birthday wishes too Cake

Talluawiththehoola · 06/07/2023 17:25

Hi Pamela my thoughts and prayers are with you, this is my first post but felt I had to comment.
My sister has been going through exactly what you currently are, I won’t pretend, it has been a long difficult journey.
Im currently at the hospital with her while she has latest round of chemo.
I did have alarm bells over the Just Giving comments but quite honestly a person would have to be going through this in order to have such detailed knowledge of the effects, tests etc.
A scammer would have to be very very determined and knowledgable.
Sad that your story has been questioned but unfortunately we are all wary.
Try to put the doubt behind you, in the knowledge that lots and lots of posters are with you.
I will be thinking of you over the next few days.

Captainhook3 · 06/07/2023 17:26

You are amazing, and so eloquent.
You are teaching us all so much.
Keep fighting Pamela, the world needs more people like you.
We are all with you every step of the way and wishing you nothing but the best.

Lougle · 06/07/2023 17:29

Inkpotlover · 06/07/2023 17:14

I'm so sorry you felt compelled to share your photo to prove you are genuine.@MNHQ should've done more due diligence before posting a comment which in its ambiguity makes it sound like you might be faking it for money. Not a cool move, MN.

No, MNHQ can't be responsible for judging whether someone's a grifter or a genuine poster. There have been posters in the past who have fabricated entire stories, going over many threads, with photos 'in situ' that everyone took as evidence of their genuineness. Then, someone noticed that the photo was actually a picture of their child (true story), or someone noticed that the equipment behind the bed wasn't laid out in the way that the hospital the poster claimed to be in lays it out, or that it was the wrong colour, etc., (true story). It's awful and it's distressing for everyone. So MNHQ decided many years ago that they would post a message on any thread where either the OP stated that they were in a tough spot and needed support, or where other posters suggested that the OP was in a tough spot and could do with support.

In this case, MNHQ have gone as far as to say:

'We can't see a shred of evidence to indicate the OP isn't above board but sadly, we can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone.'

That is as far as MNHQ can responsibly go in declaring @WilsonMilson a genuine poster.

@WilsonMilson You've made it really clear that your need is emotional support. Don't let people suggest that doubt has been cast on your character or the truthfulness of your situation. It hasn't. MNHQ have simply cautioned posters against giving more than they can afford emotionally or physically, because people do tend to get caught up in the spirit.

Equally, this is your journey and your decisions will be for you and your family to bear. I would hate for you to make decisions out of an implied obligation to keep MNers happy that you are 'fighting'. You will be bombarded with information over the next few days and I hope that you and Kerr, along with Jacob, can make decisions that are in your best interests without any influence of well-meaning but not well-informed spectators.

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