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Pamela thread 3 - Bile Duct Cancer, off to London!

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 05/07/2023 22:51

Just starting a new thread.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
84
Mummapenguin20 · 06/07/2023 16:28

Hope you get out and enjoy some food x

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 06/07/2023 16:30

Sending positive thoughts x

WilsonMilson · 06/07/2023 16:31

Urgh I’m trying not to be really upset, but small things really stress me out at the moment, even a slightly raised voice at home in frustration has me weeping buckets and this felt like a lovely supportive place, and it is, I know that, I won’t run away. I think I find it really hard to deal with even little knocks because I’m trying to so hard to be resilient about the big things, so the small things seem very inflated.
It’s kind of that way that one criticism seems to outweigh ten compliments.

Anyway, I have to rise above.

Now it’s almost like a I need to justify myself or that people are doubting I’m even telling the truth which is frankly unbelievable. I wouldn’t put a single person in the world in my shoes. So, here I am. Kerr is here, bless him. And me, the brutal face of what this does to you, how much it steals, how low it can truly get in an unbelievably short time. I look almost unrecognisable to 2 months ago, I feel like a totally different person. Make up helps a bit, but even Estée Lauder can’t work miracles. I almost can’t believe I’m putting this on the internet, but I’ve vowed to be real.

OP posts:
daciousme1 · 06/07/2023 16:31

Dear Pamela Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday for tomorrow as you might not be reading your thread. I hope the operation goes OK - you will have many many of us wishing you well/lighting candles/sending love and flowers and praying. Much love xxx

adriftabroad · 06/07/2023 16:33

I wish pps had not offered money. As soon as they did I feared this would happen.
Pamela has said over and over very politely, she did not want or even need money.

She wants a chance at life.

Insensitive in the extreme of MNHQ, I am surprised; I wonder if they had even read the threads. Way to set someone back and turn a positive into a negative.

I wish people would stop thinking about what makes them feel better in this awful situation and what is helping Pamela. What she wants. Which is support, pure and simple. She should not have to keep stating it.

Fandabedodgy · 06/07/2023 16:34

My fingers and toes are crossed for you tomorrow. X

JudgeAnderson · 06/07/2023 16:34

Sending you so many good vibes. You know what it's like here - it's a big place and there's always the odd (literally) one or two but most people are lovely.

No wonder everything feels upsetting when you're this fragile.

mrswaldron · 06/07/2023 16:35

Pamela please don't let that message from MNHQ knock you, it's a bog standard response they use all the time but I agree totally it's insensitive and could have been worded better, considering you have declined all of the offers of financial assistance (although having followed your story from the start, I would be more than happy to help!) Please don't let it knock your positivity and make you feel like you can't come here for support.

I have been thinking about you all day, wondering how you're getting on. I'm so pleased that you've made it to London and you're getting the care that you should have had from the start. I hope you're as comfortable as you can be at the moment and that Kerr, Jacob and your mum are all ok.

I've read many people's stories on mumsnet over the years and I don't think anyone's has touched me quite as much as yours has. We're a similar age with a similar family set up, though my girl is quite a bit younger than Jacob, and the thought that my life could be turned upside down as quickly as yours has been is just terrifying. You sound like such an amazing woman, the way you write is beautiful and I hope that you continue to use mumsnet as a source of support as long as you need it. I'm keeping everything crossed for you for the operation tomorrow and I hope it all goes well. I'll be thinking about you and saying quiet prayers that I'll come online and read a positive update when you're through the other side. You can do this Pamela, you've got to London and I'm sure they'll do everything they can to help you. Stay strong, sending lots of love xx

YellowBookPinkBananas · 06/07/2023 16:36

delurking to say you are amazing. I have been reading along and thinking about you so much.
I am so pleased you are receiving proper care now and utterly appalled at how you have been treated. Its unforgivable!

Please do not take heed of people reporting this. Just focus on the love a positivity you are being showered with. Really willing for everything to go well for you tomorrow. Sending my love from Sunny Bristol.

AbsoIutelyLovely · 06/07/2023 16:37

I don’t think these threads for reported because your story is false: I suspect it was the crowdfunding angle which is a real shame. But it’s because a few years ago somebody did manufacture a yarn and raised thousands of kind mumsnet. I mean anybody could read all this and set up a crowd finder and say it’s for you, Pamela. That’s all the MN I trying to avoid I imagine.

MN should just delete crowdfunding posts instead really.

all the best for tomorrow.

Bellajac · 06/07/2023 16:39

adriftabroad · 06/07/2023 16:33

I wish pps had not offered money. As soon as they did I feared this would happen.
Pamela has said over and over very politely, she did not want or even need money.

She wants a chance at life.

Insensitive in the extreme of MNHQ, I am surprised; I wonder if they had even read the threads. Way to set someone back and turn a positive into a negative.

I wish people would stop thinking about what makes them feel better in this awful situation and what is helping Pamela. What she wants. Which is support, pure and simple. She should not have to keep stating it.

This. I agree completely. Please don't be upset Pamela. There are so many of us thinking of you and wishing you well.

LongTermLurker · 06/07/2023 16:39

adriftabroad · 06/07/2023 16:33

I wish pps had not offered money. As soon as they did I feared this would happen.
Pamela has said over and over very politely, she did not want or even need money.

She wants a chance at life.

Insensitive in the extreme of MNHQ, I am surprised; I wonder if they had even read the threads. Way to set someone back and turn a positive into a negative.

I wish people would stop thinking about what makes them feel better in this awful situation and what is helping Pamela. What she wants. Which is support, pure and simple. She should not have to keep stating it.

Very well put, esp the bit about people wanting to do something so that they can feel a bit better.

Honestly Pamela, I'm so sorry you feel any need at all to justify or prove yourself. Please don't you feel you need to offer anything you can't "afford". Xx

adriftabroad · 06/07/2023 16:39

FWIW you look very thin but still beautiful x

sixtiesbaby88 · 06/07/2023 16:40

I've followed you with crossed fingers from the beginning, but this is my first post. I check your thread throughout the day and I just want to wish you all the luck in the world x

MyOtherNameToday · 06/07/2023 16:41

Dear Pamela, I'm sorry the message knocked you, it would have knocked me too in your shoes. You don't owe anyone here a thing - explanations, photos, anything. You have been so beautifully honest about how fucking hard and horrible this time has been for you. Sending you love and courage for the days ahead. So many of us are thinking about you x

Georgiepud · 06/07/2023 16:41

Well that's proof enough Pamela. End of.

Of course you look ill and tired, but once the yellow has gone you will look more normal and beautiful againi.

Tophy124 · 06/07/2023 16:43

So so glad to hear you are finally being taken care of! I have a medical issue that causes jaundice and high bilirubin and it makes me feel horrific and so I know you probably are feeling 1000 x worse and I think you’re being incredible honestly. Im really hopeful that once the jaundice is under control you may start to feel a little more like yourself again. I’m so glad you made the journey to London. Try not to let the reports upset you, there will always always be trolls on the internet. You have a family and lots of internet strangers sending you lots of love and light and good luck for tomorrow!! Let’s make 7/7 a lucky one! 🍀

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 06/07/2023 16:43

Oh Pamela do not feel you have to post picsto prove yourself. I have followed your threads and I am keeping everything crossed that this stent makes you more comfortable!
I reported the MNHQ post and BIWI's. Just not at all appropriate. Let's keep this thread a place for you to chat, rant and even ramble if that's what you feel you need to do. All the love ❤️ 💐

Theloosegoose · 06/07/2023 16:44

You still look lovely and you still have vitality! Roll on tomorrow. X

PollyAmour · 06/07/2023 16:45

Pam, don't post any more photos, you don't need to prove how unwell you are, sweetheart. Just concentrate on getting better.

SpecialOnes · 06/07/2023 16:45

WilsonMilson · 06/07/2023 16:31

Urgh I’m trying not to be really upset, but small things really stress me out at the moment, even a slightly raised voice at home in frustration has me weeping buckets and this felt like a lovely supportive place, and it is, I know that, I won’t run away. I think I find it really hard to deal with even little knocks because I’m trying to so hard to be resilient about the big things, so the small things seem very inflated.
It’s kind of that way that one criticism seems to outweigh ten compliments.

Anyway, I have to rise above.

Now it’s almost like a I need to justify myself or that people are doubting I’m even telling the truth which is frankly unbelievable. I wouldn’t put a single person in the world in my shoes. So, here I am. Kerr is here, bless him. And me, the brutal face of what this does to you, how much it steals, how low it can truly get in an unbelievably short time. I look almost unrecognisable to 2 months ago, I feel like a totally different person. Make up helps a bit, but even Estée Lauder can’t work miracles. I almost can’t believe I’m putting this on the internet, but I’ve vowed to be real.

Please don't let this upset you. I know something like this would have knocked me too, but just remember this is their standard response to reports and not specific to you.

Your hospital room looks lovely and I'm so glad you and Kerr made it there for some real support and treatment.

Keep strong Pamela, we are all sending you support, love and hope.

JemimaTab · 06/07/2023 16:45

adriftabroad · 06/07/2023 16:33

I wish pps had not offered money. As soon as they did I feared this would happen.
Pamela has said over and over very politely, she did not want or even need money.

She wants a chance at life.

Insensitive in the extreme of MNHQ, I am surprised; I wonder if they had even read the threads. Way to set someone back and turn a positive into a negative.

I wish people would stop thinking about what makes them feel better in this awful situation and what is helping Pamela. What she wants. Which is support, pure and simple. She should not have to keep stating it.

I agree with you - I know people mean well and feel they want to help, but it can be a bit pushy to keep banging on about fundraising even when a person has made it clear they are not comfortable with the idea, and that is not what they were looking for. And especially when they have other things they need to focus on.
Fundraising is not always the answer.

BIWI · 06/07/2023 16:47

@pillsthrillsandbellyache you reported my post?! Did you actually read what I wrote?!

It's very clear from a lot of the posts on these threads that people are offering to send money/support money-making schemes - which @WilsonMilson herself has said she doesn't want.

And to reiterate my post - as well as that of @AbsoIutelyLovely - the reports were not doubting the OP, but warning off people from giving money in a situation they cannot know is genuine or not.

Maxineputyourredshoeson1 · 06/07/2023 16:47

I’ve been quietly following your story. I just wanted to wish you all the very best for tomorrow Flowers and happy birthday!

dotdotdotdash · 06/07/2023 16:50

All the love Pamela from Katy in South London 💚

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