Urgh I’m trying not to be really upset, but small things really stress me out at the moment, even a slightly raised voice at home in frustration has me weeping buckets and this felt like a lovely supportive place, and it is, I know that, I won’t run away. I think I find it really hard to deal with even little knocks because I’m trying to so hard to be resilient about the big things, so the small things seem very inflated.
It’s kind of that way that one criticism seems to outweigh ten compliments.
Anyway, I have to rise above.
Now it’s almost like a I need to justify myself or that people are doubting I’m even telling the truth which is frankly unbelievable. I wouldn’t put a single person in the world in my shoes. So, here I am. Kerr is here, bless him. And me, the brutal face of what this does to you, how much it steals, how low it can truly get in an unbelievably short time. I look almost unrecognisable to 2 months ago, I feel like a totally different person. Make up helps a bit, but even Estée Lauder can’t work miracles. I almost can’t believe I’m putting this on the internet, but I’ve vowed to be real.