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Original poster

my world has fallen apart

260 replies

Emz8369 · 08/05/2013 19:15

I had to call the police last night and report my dad as my daughter told her aunty that he has been abusing her, i just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do, think, feel or say.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/05/2013 16:24

Well i have had something to eat and actually enjoyed it, feel a little sick now tho but thats probably because i havent had anything for so long.

OP posts:
cjel · 11/05/2013 17:54

Adora, not all panic attacks take ages to get over? My first one happend about 6 years before the next and when I got help for them I never had another. yes probably your tummy is churning and now you've put food in it there is something to go round!! I can beat you I had a kitchen/bedroom!!( It is a bungalow so didn't have to chase upstairs)great trying to find a knife on a bed buried under tons of stuff. If its anything like mine it was so worth doing, I can't hardly remember the living in a mess stage.

AdoraBell · 11/05/2013 19:41

cjel no, not all but is does depend on the severity, and also recognising it as a panic attack. I had them through my childhood and then later when I was spending time with my father as an adult, but didn't realise what was happening. Then a few years ago I was blue lighted into ER with the last major one I had. I've learned how to recognise and stop them now. Before that event my OH was blue lighted 3 times in 4 days and then spent 3 nights in the clinic while they looked for the root of the problem because they didn't believe could be "just" stress until all the tested were run and came back clear.

Emz glad you've had some food, hope you feel better very soon.

And by the way, we built an entire house see above comments re OH and I am never taking on building work again. Ever.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/05/2013 20:42

Thanks Adora i feel so much better i think the bih cry i had yesterday helped a lot! I have a friend here tonight so we are having a couple of drinks

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AdoraBell · 11/05/2013 21:06

I hope you have a nice evening with your friend.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 11/05/2013 21:08

Thanks Adora

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 12/05/2013 10:49

I had a good night with my friend last night fell straight asleep and didnt wake up during the night so got a good nights sleep too

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LemonBreeland · 12/05/2013 12:50

Glad to hear you got some sleep Emz that will really help you to be able to deal with everything. Keep strong.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 12/05/2013 13:07

Thanks LemonBreeland

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AdoraBell · 12/05/2013 16:49

Glad your were able To relax with your friend and then sleep.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 12/05/2013 16:54

Thanks Adora me and the girls have had a lovely relaxing day curled up together on the sofa watching films

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AdoraBell · 13/05/2013 00:39

That sounds good Emz

Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 07:21

Back to feeling like crap after a shit nights sleep i now have a massive headache, i hope the workmen aren't in for too long today so i might be able to catch a couple of hours through the day

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 12:40

I just want to say thanks to everyone you have all been so understanding and helpful even knowing there is someone here who i can message and tell how i am feeling has been a big help

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tb · 13/05/2013 13:16

Emz well done for reporting it.

A word of warning - dd told us she'd been allegedly indecently assaulted by a doctor. She was very angry after she'd told us, and in desperation - and following the advice of a gp - I told her I'd been abused, too.

That was a mistake, she referred to it during her police video statement, and the social worker from child protection accused me of making a malicious complaint because my 'd'm hadn't protected me. He then told the Camhs team that I'd been abused as a child. Their sw told us categorically that dd hadn't been assaulted, and then insisted she was the sw who counselled dd for her 'worrying thoughts' that we'd idenified as being like flash-backs.

Hope things turn out ok for you all.

cjel · 13/05/2013 13:23

what a nightmare tb.
I think OPs abuse was reported at the time so she won't have the same problem.
Hope you and dd are ok now?

Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 13:43

Hi tb my daughter had already had her video interview before i told her, im so sorry to hear what happened to you and your daughter and thankyou, i want to see the bastard locked up but dont hold much hope in the justice system tbh

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 18:29

Grr this man (if you can call him that) really pisses me off, i have just had a message off him asking how (older) daughter did cos she started her sats tests today Angry

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fubbsy · 13/05/2013 18:46

Haven't the police told him not to contact you? Angry

Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 19:20

His only bail conditions are not to contact the children

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cjel · 13/05/2013 20:14

I still think it would be worth reporting his latest text, Its not fair that you should have any contact with you and surely asking about dds is still trying to contact them?

THERhubarb · 13/05/2013 21:26

Emz, you need to block his number. That should be the first thing you do. The second thing you need to do is show the police his text as it could count as harrassment.

DO NOT REPLY

The police will have a word with him and he'll realise that there is no point in trying to contact you as you will only keep reporting him. It may also count against him in court as it is actual unwanted contant and harrassment when he has already been told to stop texting your sister.

I know your feelings are all over the place, but you really need to get on top of this now. Block him. Tell the police. Your only priority right now is your dd.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 21:34

I showed the police the texys he was sending my sister and they said there was nothing they could do as they arent intimidating so dont imigane they will do anything about this one, i didnt reply and have no intention of doing so, the police have already told him we don't want any contact with him. I will be ringing the police woman in the morning

OP posts:
THERhubarb · 13/05/2013 21:42

I thought they said they would have a word with him about the texts? Keep showing them. He abused you as a child, he abused your daughter, I would say that this counts as harrassment. As a potential witness, he shouldn't be contacting you at all.

He has been told not to by the police and they need to press that home to him. Get her to tell him that you have blocked his number so there is no point in him trying to get hold of you.

He is preventing you from moving on by continually contacting you in this way. Once he is removed and in prison, which he surely will be, yes you will grieve in some way for the father you never had but at least you can then have some kind of closure and you can move on with your life.

cjel · 13/05/2013 21:44

you are so strong emz, glad you will continue to tell police about his contact. It all adds up and they will be able to do more the more he does. did you get chance to chase counselling?