my world has fallen apart

[Emz8369]

I had to call the police last night and report my dad as my daughter told her aunty that he has been abusing her, i just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do, think, feel or say.

[cjel]

Emz again I would add to definate getting counselling. I did but not until I was 40 did I finally admit what happened and now I have so worked thorugh my stuff I am 2yrs into a 4 year counselling course. It is painful when you start the process but it will help so much and in turn you will be able to help dd in the way you want. I'd also say let your feelings go to the dark place while you don't have dd and cry and mourn.xx

[Theironfistofarkus]

Emz you are very brave. If you and your daughter need support, the Lucy Faithfull Foundation are a great organisation as well as Napac.

[Emz8369]

Hey cjel i let myself cry and was all cried out after an hour and a half, i had intended on having an early night but had to go pick my youngest daughter up from my sisters house as she wasnt settling

[Emz8369]

Thanks farkus

[StealthOfficialCrispTester]

You are amazing
Your DD is lucky to have you as her mum

[cjel]

glad you had your cry without dd being there!!:) just as well you hadn't had a few drinks instead. How do you feel now? are you glad to have her back?xx

[AdoraBell]

Hope you can get some sleep now.

[cjel]

morning, how was your night?

[inneedofrain]

Hope you are ok and managed to get some sleep

[Emz8369]

Thanks stealth

[Emz8369]

Hey cjel thanks no point drinking tbh asi would have had a hangover this morning as well as this situation hanging over me, i felt better after my cry and was glad to have daughter back home.

[Emz8369]

I had some aleep Adora but it was broken sleep so hasnt helped a lot tbh however i do feel a bit better than i did yesterday

[Emz8369]

Hey cjel i had lots of broken sleep and have woken with a headache but im just going to try and get on with things today

[Emz8369]

inneedofrain i feel a little better than yesterday got a little sleep as most of it was broken

[StoicButStressed]

Just sending you all hugs again Emz, and reminding you that you are being just amazing in every way

[Emz8369]

Thanks stoic today is better but i still havent done anything in the way of housework but im building up to im currently helping my younger daughter with her homework on the plus side i havent cried yet today

[cjel]

your body will use what sleep you did get so thats ok.how tough is hw? what age is dd? mine outgrow me by about 11!!! I have just been outside in my garden this morning and the fresh air is always good. can you go out today? even if its just to sit and stare!

[Emz8369]

Hey cjel the housework isnt usually that tough but as i have had workmen in and out over the past week i havent been able to do much so housework is worse than it usually is and i also keep getting dizzy spells so have to sit down often but i will get through it, dd is 6, can't go out today weather is rubbish, i have music on while im tidying and im actually enjoying it which is a good sign (i think?)

[AdoraBell]

Yes, enjoying the music is good, anything that lifts your mood even for a few minutes is good. Have you spoken to your GP about yourself? The dizzy spells make me think you may be be having panic attacks. Stress makes the body react in all sorts of wierd ways and you may well benefit from some kind of medication for that.

Do you have any aromatherapy oils? If not could your sister get you either Neroli oil, or lavender, sage. The Neroli calms the nervous system- a few drops in a warm bath. Lavender and sage are calming too and I use lavender mixed with whatever oil, even cooking oil, 1/2 drops to a teaspoon of oil. I rub that on my temples, neck, arms & hands, legs & feet.

Also chamomile tea relaxes your intestines, a couple of cups of that per day will help. DDs can drink that too, and use the lavender oil -just remember to mix it before using it on skin.

[AdoraBell]

That should be 1-2 drops of oil not half a drop, sorry.

[Emz8369]

I havent been in touch my gp Adora i havent had a panic attack but think my weakness and dizziness may be due to lack of food as i have not been eating thanks for the advice about the aromatherapy oils i dont have any but will definitely invest in some

[cjel]

great you are enjoying music, as long as its not too morbid.! I have done up this house in the last 6months since i lived here and its a nightmare isn't it? where does all the dust come from? At one point last year me and ds(28) were sleeping in the lounge, little bedroom had all our stuff in while we ripped out both our bedrooms and one morning we had to get up and dressed early as they were coming to rip out kitchen and fit new doors and windows to the whole place It was november and freezing!! feeling more settled now though.Try and make yourself eat - soup is good if you cant face chewing!!

[Emz8369]

Hey cjel im definitely avoiding morbid music im currently getting a new kitchen and bathroom and the house looks like a bomb has hit it but im only doing little bits i know i can cope with at the moment, i currently have a kitchen/sitting room as had to take everything out of the kitchen so have all kitchen in my sitting room which is a pain.
I had some toast before bed last night and am definitely going to try something after i have tidied

[AdoraBell]

Okay, make sure you eat today, even if it's just a bit of fruit and a yoghurt. But if the dizzy spells don't stop once you have eaten then please don't ignore it. I've had full on panic attacks and afterwards you can't just swing back into action, it can take weeks or months to recover.

Do you have easily prepaired food in the house, anything in the freezer you could bung in the microwave, so that if you don't have the energy for cooking from scratch you can still eat? Of not could you do an online shop, I'm thinking cans of soup, beans, humus, veg, fruit etc. ready roasted chicken, a bag of prepped salad, cheese, ham, frozen berries etc to mix with yoghurt. Bread/rolls/wraps, just add the salad and some chicken. Try to make it as easy as possible to get something ready.

[Emz8369]

I am definitely going to eat today, i have just realised i havent felt sick at all today, the dizziness only happens when i stand after i have been sitting down.

I have lots of easily prepared in atm as have only had use of a microwave and sporadic use of a proper cooker over the past couple of weeks.