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Original poster

my world has fallen apart

260 replies

Emz8369 · 08/05/2013 19:15

I had to call the police last night and report my dad as my daughter told her aunty that he has been abusing her, i just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do, think, feel or say.

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 21:58

Yeah they did rhubarb she said they rang him and told him not to contact us

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 13/05/2013 21:59

Thanks cjel the counselling should be coming through shortly

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 10:01

I am supposed to be going food shopping
today but really don't think i can face it, i am so scared in case i see him that even writing my shopping list out is making me feel sick

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 12:07

Well i rang the police woman and she said she is going to ring him and tell him (again) that we do not want contact with him

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THERhubarb · 14/05/2013 12:24

And have you blocked his number?

Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 12:30

Yes rhubarb i have

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THERhubarb · 14/05/2013 12:58

Good Smile

AdoraBell · 14/05/2013 14:35

Emz could you get shopping delivered just this once? Obviously I'm not suggesting you hide away at home but if it's causing too much stress is it worth the trip into town? You will be able to go out without feeling stressed but for now try to find a balance.

Well done for reporting the continued contact, even if it's not intimidating in it's contents it builds up a picture of the individual.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 14:56

I cant get shopping delivered adora as dont have a bank account only a post office account, havent been able to go out yet as have been waiting for plumbers coming out i was hoping to have been out and back home by now as would rather be out on my own and risk bumping into him than having the kids with me, plumbers still havent been yet so don't think i will be able to go today anyway so will hopefully get out tomorrow

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ParsingFancy · 14/05/2013 15:10

Emz, just to say I'm still thinking of you all. You're doing a fantastic job hanging in there.

And especially with having tradespeople in your space all day, and the house dismantled around you. That's wearing at the best of times. Hope they finish and get out of your hair soon.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 15:13

Thanks ParsingFancy

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 18:22

Well i did it! I went shopping i had to do it on my own as my sister waited in for the plumbers for me and looked after kids, i nearly had a panic attack but i did it!

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cjel · 14/05/2013 18:39

Wow that amazing - well done you!:) hope you bought some good things to eat?

Original poster
Emz8369 · 14/05/2013 19:28

Thanks cjel i was tempted to come home half way through but pushed on with it yeah i treated myself

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cjel · 14/05/2013 19:38

good for the treats too!

AdoraBell · 15/05/2013 04:04

Well done Emz that is fantastic. You really are doing amazingly well.

AgentFelix · 15/05/2013 05:41

Emz, my heart goes out to you, your DD, Dsis and Dmum.

I will not hijack your thread with my personal experience, but I wanted to tell you that I have so much respect for you and the way you are handling this.

Belief, understanding and empathy from you will help DD more than anything.

Please be kind to yourself and accept appropriate help where it's offered.

xx

Original poster
Emz8369 · 15/05/2013 08:23

Thanks Adora and Felix My sister is going to be interviewed today and as what happened to her didnt get reported to police as we had left the family home before she disclosed it and she didnt report it to police if that makes sense, depending on what she tells the police it may lead to him being rearrested and investigated for what he did to her as well

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AdoraBell · 15/05/2013 15:47

Hugs for your sister

Original poster
Emz8369 · 15/05/2013 16:43

Seriously pissed off!!! Long story short i have two sisters the one who daughter first told and the sister who was giving her statement today, my sister who daughter first told has decided she feels sorry for my dad and wants to keep in touch with him because he has "lost everyone". I am infuriated, he hasnt lost everyone because none of his side of the family know because he hasnt got the balls to tell them what a low life he is and i refuse to tell them

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AdoraBell · 15/05/2013 17:54

Not surprised you are pissed off, I would feel compelled to cut contact with sister, but that's me. Do you think he has manipulated her, guilt tripped her into feeling sorry for him?

Original poster
Emz8369 · 15/05/2013 18:03

No Adora she never sees him tbh so i dont know why she feels this way she is 18 so as an adult can do what she wants she is in the mindset that he is her dad which yes its true but i just dont get it, i still love her but will be telling her that if she does have contact with him then she will not be telling me anything about him and will certainly not be ac

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Original poster
Emz8369 · 15/05/2013 18:07

Acting as a go between if he wants her to pass messages on to me

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AdoraBell · 15/05/2013 18:11

And that she does not have your permission to tell him about you or DD. she is an adult, be a very young adult. Did she grow up around him, was she very young when your mother left? She could have a naive romantic idea of who her father is, and that could affect her judgement.

Original poster
Emz8369 · 15/05/2013 18:21

She was really young when my mum left she was only 4 or 5

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