BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

@CrossingMyFingers exercise is something I’ve been wondering about too. I used to do yoga twice a week, a session of PT, swimming sometimes, and in the past few weeks, months actually it’s gone down to zero so I’ve lost a lot of muscle. I’m acutely aware that I should be strengthening my pelvic muscles, my back, all sorts of things, but so far every time I walk a bit more I seem to get this brown discharge and cramping or pain in the groin, so I’m a bit wary about exercise.

Ideally, I would love to work with my PT to do pregnancy-safe workouts, and also do yoga for pregnancy, but maybe that’s something for when I’m out of the woods, hoping that I get there. I assume that the same advice applies as per the 2ww for now, which is don’t over-exert yourself, don’t work out till you get all red and sweaty and your heart is racing 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ThePeachGoose oh no not at all, this thread is about all of us, and all our worries /excitement/ thoughts /feelings /emotions .. and your worries are valid like everyone on here, I am just glad you are feeling ok and and everything is ok hunni, yeh they don’t realise we analyse everything they say and how they say it etc .. the human brain automatically looks for patterns, we’re geared up that way, so we try analysis everything to create some kind of reason, but fertility has no rhyme or reason .. ! Also sorry if my low numbers have made you more worried !! 💖

@hopefullsosbry oh gosh no, don’t apologise, we can’t control these things! And I had my own experience anyway, with the chemical, so I’d been burnt already.

I’ve been watching this docuseries over my 2ww called Alex Jones: Making Babies that goes behind the scenes at King's Fertility and honestly, the biggest take away was how random success seems to be in this field annoyingly 😔

Thank you for your support throughout this and I’ll be crossing everything in the hope that you’ll get your positive soon 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@ThePeachGoose I'm so pleased that your levels have doubled! How are you feeling today? I hope it has managed to ease some worries. I get what you mean about exercise, I used to do HIT and spin workouts 5 times a week and since IVF I dropped it so now do walks etc but I'm too scared yet to workout.

I also know probably is irrational but I still haven't had a bath yet and I love baths (don't worry I do shower lol 😅 ) but after egg transfer my clinic said no baths/swimming during the 2ww. Has anyone tried baths after bfp?

@hopefullsosbry how are you doing today? I'm thinking of you and hope you are being kind to yourself xxx

@ThePeachGoose I think all of us have fixated on something - I got obsessed with darkness of pregnancy test lines. Definitely think having more info can sometimes make your head a bit scrambled. All of us do it though so it’s totally normal! IVF does mental things to your brain and anxiety! Numbers are doubling and men/doctors rarely know the impact their words might have on you, I’d have freaked out too.

@oliviagrace2307 Haha I’m 10 weeks today and still not had a bath but I do want one! I love mine super hot though so I feel like it’s just not going to satisfy my need for one.

@Edf @Fluffyted How are you guys? Just checking in! I think you’re both pretty much 11 weeks aren’t you? And @DippyDuck19 are you feeling better now?

@HopefulllHolly ohh OK I'm glad I'm not the only one still not sure about them! I'm the same, love really hot baths so I think I'll wait to have my lukewarm baths in the second trimester! Wow 10 weeks today, how are you feeling? Im now 6 weeks but I must admit my anxiety today is terrible, I think I experienced what you had with hook effect on tests as my easy at home looked a bit lighter today so I'm waiting to test again then I'm going to stop as it's just a massive anxiety headspin

@HopefulllHolly I good thanks. I'm 10+5 today and since my scan on Sunday I'm feeling like a lot of my symptoms are easing up. Not as tired (although yesterday wasnt good with the heat), haven't vomited this week and boobs less painful. Although im peeing loads!!! I'm assuming the placenta is starting to take over, the sonographer on Sunday said this should happen by week 11 as the yolk sac should be completely absorbed by this point.

Hope you're doing ok?

@HopefulllHolly im good thanks, yup 11 weeks today but got to wait till 12+4 for scan so still 10 more days to go! Symptoms are lessening I think, not as nauseas but tiredness/lethargy prevailing.

im a tennis fanatic (can’t play for toffee but love watching) so excited to lounge for 2 weeks to watch Wimbledon and by the time is over I should be safely into 2nd trimester! Not doing nipt, but I came back high risk in 2021 with dd so got the nhs version of harmony, doesn’t tell you gender so private scan to break up the wait around 17 weeks for us 😊

i am a bath lover too and have been having them daily throughout, I have dropped temperature slightly but don’t stay in crazy long, had no issues 😊

@oliviagrace2307 Yeah I think the 6 week mark I was my most anxious to be honest - but it’s not really gone away. Step away from the tests (I wish I had done it caused me so much stress and worry) and just take a day as it comes. I find breaking it down in to weeks makes it much more manageable. Only a couple of weeks until your scan on the 9th ☺️! Mines the day after yours and @DippyDuck19 is the day after mine! It’s going to be busy and exciting for everyone!

@DippyDuck19 Oh I’m glad you’re feeling better! Yeah I could see my placenta on the scan (so weird we’re also growing a whole new organ as well as a baby, women are amazing) but could still see the yolk sac but my symptoms had definitely decreased for a bit. Saying that though today and yesterday I’ve feeling nauseous all day, but not terribly, I just feel car sick. Boobs don’t hurt anymore either! Still feel tired though! So exciting you’re so nearly 11 weeks! This time next week you’ll be almost 12 which feels like such a massive milestone. 😍 Are you having your NIPT done or not? Sorry if I have forgotten! Time seems to be going slightly more quickly now. Don’t know if it’s just because I’m slightly less anxious or not!

It’s the Zara sale started today and my god the urge to not buy a little knitted outfit for my January baby is seriously having to be tamed! I know that would be totally crazy to do but they are SO CUTE!!! Might ask my mum to buy them🤣🤣🤣

@Edf I mean Wimbledon would be more fun with Pimms but I guess we’ll have to just eat lots of strawberries and cream instead! Definitely a good way to burn away the time! Your scans on the 8th July isn’t it? (I’ve tried to make a list of everyone’s so I can be a cheerleader to everyone like they have with me 🤣)
Glad you’re feeling good!! 😊

@HopefulllHolly oo if you have seen the placenta on scan have you seen the ramzi theory? Obvs not a science, I tried to see mine to see if the theory said boy or girl but couldnt see it (tv ultrasound I think needs inverted) just daft bit of googling distraction for me that didn’t involve miscarriage risk or anything anxiety inducing 😂

Yeah Mon 8th- aw your just too thoughtful 💕💕 your so luckily to have an 11+5 scan 😂 not jealous at all!

strawbs cream chocolate and Lucazade (weird craving) all the way!!

@Edf Have you got your pic? You can kind of spot it because it’s more bright white? He pointed mine out to me. By the Ramzi theory mine should be a girl ☺️ but I feel like it’s a boy to be honest!

I’ll be 11+6 on mine but yeah I was surprised it was so soon tbh! I was expecting it around 13.5/14 weeks and had designs on going for another private one in between 😅

Now I want strawberries and cream really badly! Might have to fulfil my urge on the way home from my blood test, I do walk past marks and Spencer after all so would be rude not to! My cravings are mad! What have you really wanted to eat? I’ve totally gone off salads and basically anything I ate a lot pre-pregnancy! 🥲

Thank you @HopefulllHolly 😊 I know you are right, I think im still triggered after my chemical last year but I was earlier on than I am now in this pregnancy and feel symptoms (need a wee all time time, tiredness, felt a bit queasy earlier, bloating). I think it's that the tests are my only proof that something has happened so I'm really hoping the scan will put me more at ease. Ahh how lovely that we have scans that week! And I would definitely be tempted by the zara knitted baby gro I love little knitted/crochet items for babies.

@Edf thank you for the bath advice! I will see how I feel after my scan then take a dip. And Wimbledon watching sounds like an excellent way to relax. I'm already looking forward to strictly in autumn, I had my DS in late 2021 and strictly was a nice weekly countdown for me.

ooo girl cute 💕 now we can see how accurate when you find out the gender Yey!

Here is my 9week one- what does this one suggest with that theory do you think??🤔

I am all for nectarines and yoghurt this week- the first few weeks was stodge and carbs, now I have just da gone off big heavy meals and prefer to graze on lighter stuff- may well be more weather than preg tho 🤷🏻‍♀️

what’s your (everyones) weirdest cravings?? I can no longer tolerate the look smell or thought of egg either!

@oliviagrace2307 i was the same! I had my daughter in April 2022 that strictly was my countdown to my 20 week scan 😂 oh the little things just help sometimes don’t they!

@Edf was it internal?

@HopefulllHolly yup internal

@HopefulllHolly do you have your scan and bloods today?!

Thank you @oliviagrace2307 I feel relieved that I've overcome this big & triggering hurdle for me. I don't know how the next 2 weeks will go, but I feel more able than in the past 4 days to focus on other stuff, so I'll try to keep myself busy as time goes on and reduce a bit of the hold that IVF has had over me in the past 4 days.

Thank you @HopefulllHolly you're right that IVF does mental things to your brain and anxiety! No one outside of the IVF world can understand these feelings. It's the most bonkers process I've ever gone through lol

@Edf then I think it says boy! Your placenta is on the left bottom side in that picture, which would be your right side in your uterus I think! Haha imagine how weird it would be if it was true. Always 50/50! To be honest I’m sure all of us don’t care either way, as long as it’s healthy. I don’t mind at all, but secretly I know my partner would love a little girl. His eyes go all glassy when he looks at girl babies. 🥹

My weird cravings - Cocopops (only thing I can stomach eating when I feel hungry first thing), pasta, fruit juice and ice lollies. And perhaps the weirdest for me is watermelon as I’ve not eaten it in over 25 years because of something that happened when I was little at summer camp when I lived in America 🤣🤣🤣 Basically some kids did a watermelon eating competition and ate so much they were all throwing up and everything smelt of watermelon and sick and I have never been able to touch it since 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣

@AnnieStar12 Not having another scan because my 12 week is in 13 days so I’m just going to wait unless I have another menty b! Just having the bloods taken today at 2pm. It’s like a 20 min walk so will wander down in a while.

@oliviagrace2307 Oh for sure, the bit you are at now is so hard because all you have is those 2 little lines. I totally get it. I did tests almost every other day for ages until I had the hook effect and had a meltdown and then I learned my lesson. The hardest bit is just having to accept that you have no control and just to lean in to it and try and be happy. I’m still very much trying to do this myself!! 🙄

@Edf aww beautiful scan picture lovely! I've never heard of this placenta theory for gender prediction but it's something I'll look out for. And yay to a fellow strictly fan! I think for looking at dates my 20 week scan would be near to early October which is one of my fav months! How are you finding being pregnant with a toddler?

@ThePeachGoose I get it, it's such a mind boggle but I'm glad you are able to focus on other things! If you've got any good series recommendations please send them my way I keep just reverting to watching gavin and Stacey and friends as my comfort shows!

@HopefulllHolly thank you lovely, you are right it's trying to let go of the things we can't control (I'm absolutely not good at that at all) and finding happiness. I'm hoping holiday will do that for me, I'm not taking tests so I literally will be forced to just enjoy the present and not stress about tests or what negative things could happen

@HopefulllHolly am not doing the NIPT. I was going to but was worried I'd feel anxious if it came back high risk for something. So I've decided to wait for the 12 week trisomy NHS screening. And if that does show something, have the NIPT after that.
I had the sneak peak bloods though, which will hopefully be back within the next few days, so will find out if it's 🩷🩵

@edf my placenta is on the left side of the scan too. Which I think is the right side of uterus. Which means boy I think. I'll confirm with my sneak peak in a few days.

The Chinese prediction chart also predicts boy for me too!

@oliviagrace2307 it depends on what you like ofc but here's what’s been keeping me busy:

1. Alex Jones: Making Babies (a look inside King’s Fertility, which was my second choice)
2. Stand up comedy and old SNL episodes; I watched recently Leanne Morgan’s stand up special and thought was hilarious, along with anything John Mulaney and Nate Bergatze
3. I found Girls5eva hilarious and clever once you get past the first few episodes (Tina Fey is involved)
4. I loved the look of Palm Royale and everyone it it
5. Abbott Elementary is also a very funny & wholesome sitcom
6. I also watched Bodkin recently and liked it if you’re more into mystery crime drama
7. Currently I’m re-watching The Bear in preparation for the new season

Here’s some other oldies but goldies that you might enjoy if you like friends: sex and the city ofc, frasier, gilmore girls, parks & rec, 30 rock, shitt’s creek, the office (US), brooklyn 99, the good place is also excellent.

I may have gone overboard with recommendations but hopefully it gives you some ideas for something new to watch 😁