BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

@AnnieStar12 I’ll be exactly 10 weeks haha. Sure it will be fine dead on 10 weeks anyway. It makes it so much easier when you have an appointment or scan to look ahead to doesn’t it. 2 week chunks feel slightly more manageable than anything over 2 weeks. Yeah I agree - I’m really wishing this year away too 😂 Once I get past the 12 week scan I’ll be a bit better and ready to get on with stuff I’m kind of putting off - and hopefully have a last holiday just the two of us somewhere. We hadn’t booked anything because of IVF so now it feels a bit bottlenecked.

Got the results from today .. that was quick !! Unfortunately it’s gone down , 215.. so it will defo be non viable as once it goes down it won’t come up again .. I dunno if it’s a good thing in a way as do you guys think that means it’s not ectopic , and more like an abnormal chromosome and it’s just stopped and passed now the numbers are reducing ? Or does numbers go down with ectopic also ? Anyways I have to go in on Friday for more bloods and take it from there , I am tempted to just stop the progesterone ? Might all just come away naturally then before Friday ?? 🤔

@hopefullsosbry I have no idea I’m sorry. And I’m really sorry you’re having to go through this. I’d probably just keep taking the progesterone until you have your next bloods or the scan but I’m a right worrier, but I know lots of people would stop them. I’m sure if the numbers are going down even if it was an ectopic that you’ll pass it naturally - but I’m not an expert. I’m sorry you’re going through this, wish I could give you a big hug! Hope you have someone with you to give you lots of cuddles xx

Thanks so much, I am actually not too bad, know I know and have got my head around it, it was the unknowing that was driving me round the bend , I can just focus on next steps now. Thanks so much for all your support etc , you and everyone on the chat have really been a god send and an amazing source of support 💖

@hopefullsosbry You’re such a strong superstar! When you get that baby you are destined for you’ll be the best mummy ever and it will be so lucky to have such a strong woman guiding it through life. So sorry it’s not worked this time but I’m glad you have more answers now. xx

Thanks so much @HopefulllHolly your such a lovely person , you will also make thee most caring and kind mummy , your a lovely soul ! 💖

Sorry you're going through this @hopefullsosbry, sending strength and solidarity!

@hopefullsosbry I'm sorry it wasn't good news for you today I was really hoping for you. Sending you lots of strength and best of luck for your next steps 💕

@hopefullsosbry oh so sorry to hear that! You’ve been through so much that I can only hope that one day the wheel of fortune will turn around and you’ll get waves of good luck and successes one after the other. No one deserves it more. Sending lots of love and hugs your way and hope that you can move on from this soon.

I don’t know if this is helpful at all as it’s very anecdotal, but when I was worried about ectopic due to my lower side pain & spotting and looked through women’s experiences who’ve gone through ectopic, some of them were reporting that their hcg behaved quite erratically going down, then up, then down again, that sort of thing. So it’s good that you’re getting another test on Friday as that will provide more information, and hopefully more peace of mind that it’s not ectopic as the chances overall are still pretty low from what I understand.

What did the EPU or your IVF clinic say about the progesterone? I’d be inclined to stop it but again, I’m no expert, and you should always do what your clinic advises.

@hopefullsosbry what a time you have had of it recently! Sending you all the love and a huge hug! Look after yourself as best you can 😘💜

This is really lovely to hear! So pleased for you! 🥰💜

@hopefullsosbry Argh no, I'm sorry that's not the news you wanted! I would also be tempted to stop progesterone, but would probably wait until the scan / final confirmation. It's so unfair you've had way more than your share of tragedy on your TTC journey. I really hope your happy ending will come before long x

I think that I must have aged a decade waiting for my blood test results today, but I didn’t hear anything until I contacted my consultant just now and he said that they haven’t come in yet. So frustrating, I’ve been worrying so much all day, it can’t be good for me. At least the consultant said that he’ll let me know as soon as he gets them, either this evening or tomorrow morning.

@ThePeachGoose Sorry they are making you wait! Get a good sleep and you’ll find out in no time! I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about ☺️

@ThePeachGoose oh that’s so frustrating about your results, I do wish sometimes the clinics were more mindful of how stressful this is! All the waiting is absolutely horrendous.

I contacted my clinic to say I’d had a few days of on/off mild cramping and I was a bit nervous, and they were very dismissive. I know everyone’s symptoms are different and cramps are normal but it’s SO hard trying to stay sane, would’ve like a bit more empathy.

Really feeling anxious today, can’t believe I have another 15 days until my scan!

@CrossingMyFingers aww sorry that they didn’t do much to relieve your anxiety. A little more empathy wouldn't hurt, you’re right. My consultant dismissed me too when I asked about cramping on one side, said it’s normal so maybe it is. If he’s not worried then I’m not worried, but when it came to spotting, he booked me in for tests asap so naturally I’m more worried about that as he clearly thinks there could be something there. But I agree with you, if all goes well with these tests, it will be a loooong & painful wait until the 6-7 week scan sigh

@ThePeachGoose argh, sorry it’s more waiting. Hopefully they’ll be there for you in the morning. Is this to test HCG levels?

@AnnieStar12 yeah, whether they doubled from Monday 🤞🏻

@ThePeachGoose well it’s good they’re taking you seriously anyway. I’m sure it’s absolutely fine (I have spent the last hour trawling lots of years-old threads of horror stories turned good 😂) but totally empathise with the waiting stress - fingers crossed they get in touch soon with good news!

It really all is such a minefield.

Can I ask how everyone is approaching exercise? I normally work out in some form most days, including running and tennis, but am terrified of doing anything that might be risky!

@CrossingMyFingers Ive been a lazy cow really because i genuinely have no energy. I walk the dog daily and do yoga 4 times a week. Just found a prenatal Pilates course I’m going to do too. I used to go running 3-4 times a week but the thought makes me tired now 🤣 My nurses have all said “gentle exercise” so I guess it depends what that means to you.

So for those who’ve been following along, my consultant messaged me at 10:30 pm (which is amazing, as soon as he saw the results) and told me that the results were “reassuring” and to get in touch at the end of next week to arrange a scan.

What does that even mean??? What a terrible choice of word, didn’t provide any relief 😂 I asked him about the value and in the meantime I’ll be dissecting in great detail what “reassuring” could even mean uh…

@ThePeachGoose , did he not tell you what the number was ? Did he tell you how much the 1st beta was ? Surely they have to tell you, can you phone up and ask what the actual amount was ? When is your scan booked for ? Hope you are ok that’s terrible they are not very empathic or understanding to you that it’s a highly stressful time ! I don’t think the doctors realise we are left hanging on their words .. hopefully you will find out tomorrow your numbers and all will be ok, sending you lots of love 💖

@ThePeachGoose Im sure he means they doubled, that’s how I’ve taken it anyway! ☺️

@ThePeachGoose oh doctors do make me laugh, I’m sure he means it’s all as it should be!

I had something like that yesterday when the doctor was scanning me she casually asked if I did genetic testing on the embryo. I said no then started panicking wondering what made her ask that. I ended up saying “is there a reason you asked me that question, is there something on the scan that make you think I should have checked” I just knew if I didn’t ask I would leave and bad thoughts would spiral in my head wondering why she asked. Anyways, she was like “nooo, nothing at all I was just making conversation with you” and kept reassuring me there wouldn’t be anything at this stage she could have seen anyways and she was just asking out of curiosity. If anything I think I made her feel bad!

@CrossingMyFingers argh, the exercise (and eating) thing is really stressing me out. I feel soo big compared to my usual size, all my clothes don’t fit me anymore. I think it’s cause I have been doing fertility treatment since September last year (3 IUIs and 2 IVFs) and basically stopped exercising as I was too anxious about the developing follicles/early embryos etc. And I think all the hormones and drugs have made me bigger too. I’ve refused to get on the scales as I am too scared what it will say. And now I don’t know what to do as I want to get fit and healthy and not get tooo much bigger while pregnant.
I was even thinking about contacting this PT who does post natal classes to see if she’d do some pregnancy safe 1-2-1 sessions with me. But my big problem now is I’m just sooooooo tired all the time I need to sleep rather than exercise in my minimal spare time.

@HopefulllHolly @AnnieStar12 you were right in that my results were actually good and they had doubled, and that’s probably reassuring in the context of spotting which he wanted to look into a bit more to rule out a few things I imagine. I didn’t even ask what this means for the spotting, I’ll just take it and run and see him at the scan, as I want to take a little distance from it all. This week has exhausted me emotionally and I can see why some clinics wouldn’t do hcg tests.

@hopefullsosbry yeah, I don’t think they realise how we are left hanging on their every word, you’re right. In the end it was all okay, but I couldn‘t help but think of the worst because of my previous experience and your current experience 😬 I’m sorry that I kept making it about myself these days when you were going through such a difficult situation. I honestly didn’t know which way it was going to go and it was freaking me out.