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Original poster

'Too many children?'

171 replies

NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:11

\link{http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml;jsessionid=H2A3IIAQDL3UBQFIQMGSFFWAVCBQWIV0?xml=/health/2006/04/11/hfamily11.xml\i liked this}

I always think of 'staircase wit' comments to say to people when they criticise me for having 5 (+ ?) children - there are a couple of nice quips in here!
Average number of children in uk families 1.3 !!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 11/04/2006 13:13

I got to the bit where they list her kids' names .. dido PMSL Grin

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:13

yes i wonder how old she was?????

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 11/04/2006 13:16

i know a Dido who is approaching 40...

Cristina7 · 11/04/2006 13:19

I liked the article. I have a couple of her books and she talks a lot of sense in those too.

I disagree with "Invariably, they will have spent it squabbling with their team of siblings, but that was preferable, they say, to being locked in mortal combat with just one brother or sister." How would they know what the alternative would have been like?

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:21

yes but i loved the bit about 'benign neglect' coming back into fashion!

OP posts:
leogaela · 11/04/2006 13:30

Couldn't be bothered to read more than half of the article.

I am one of 6 children (not catholic) and love all my brothers and sisters to bits, the main winge I have when I am feeling self pitying is that 2 parents just don't have enough attention to spread around so many children... It was entirely my mother's very selfish choice to have 6 children. I don't want to have onyl one child but will definitely try to avoid having more than 2. Money is part of the issue but not all of it.

leogaela · 11/04/2006 13:37

But I do like the last comment 'For families aren't just for childhood, they are for life.' :)!

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 11/04/2006 13:43

I only have 4 at home now and it is very quiet
I miss the hustle and bustle tbh

also article imo seems a bit draconian
all my children had their own beds, never had to sleep top and tail etc

leogaela · 11/04/2006 13:50

I would have LOVED to have had my own room! I did for about 6 months when I was 19 for the first time :O and then again when I left xh at 28 :)!

jamsam · 11/04/2006 13:51

i would love to have an entire rugby side, if i could afford to feed and clothe them all...

FairyMum · 11/04/2006 13:52

I am 1 of 5 and would easily have exchanged a couple of my siblings for my own room in my teens.

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:53

leo - i do agree it is my selfish choice to have so many children. I am one of four and my mother bitched bucketloads about how awful it was for her. I used to always think ' i did not ask to be born' I am at pains to point out to my 5 that thought i may moan -its my own doing not theirs!
My children are big (13,11,9) and small (3,0) and the bigs just love it. Our house is an open loving and nurturing house in a way that i dont remember in my childhood. Try not to judge people...maybe accept differences...

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Rach69 · 11/04/2006 13:54

You can argue this one both ways and people should do what they like if they're not burdening anyone else - some kids where there are only 2 in the family whinge that their parents never had any time for them and it was probably true! I have 4 now (and I was one of 4 - yes, catholic - it was the norm in my school - single children were oddities). I think if you are part of a big family it either puts you off kids for life or you end up running a nursery! Now I am amazed at some of the comments I get when I'm out with all 4 (although some people were saying them when I had 3). The financial burden is nonsense (it's like saying you can't afford to get married) - you cut your cloth accordingly, you live in a reasonable house, have a reasonable car and go on less holidays! Love and attention cost nothing but I also love the benign neglect thing which reminds me of my childhood, we were self-sufficient and never got driven anywhere! You hand stuff down and you shop on ebay! I have a university education, a professional job and the only benefits I get are child benefit and tax credits (£40 a month!). My kids will be contributing to society and financially supporting the economy through their taxes later.

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:55

Lovely Rachel I always agree with you!

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Angeliz · 11/04/2006 13:56

I am pregnant with my third and am amazed at how STRANGE people in RL think it is!!

Noone says Congratulations till i assure them it was planned and we want a big family and even then they look at me like i'm mad!

Rach69 · 11/04/2006 13:57

It's swings and roundabouts though isn't it? My kids' friends love to come and play at our house, and although my kids all have their own beds (!) sharing 3 bedrooms between the 4 - I have known the older 2 or 3 to all sleep together just for fun. My eldest (not surprisingly) would love his own room but if his nearest brother is not there he enjoys the peace for a bit and then can't wait for him to get back!

ggglimpopo · 11/04/2006 13:59

I have 6 - 5 of my own and one shared. I quite liked her article, but I do think money is a bigger issue than she touched on. I also find that when you have four or more, you tend to absorb other peoples children effortlessly. I often find myself cooking for 8 or 9 children, or doing a headcount and finding that the neighbours children have been here all morning.....

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 11/04/2006 13:59

all the kids come to our house too
feel like mother hubbard sometimes lolGrin

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 14:00

I rememeber my mum ( who had four) asking me if my third was planned (cow bag) - Have not spoken to her in years now and just had fifth . That'll show her! Wink

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madmarchhare · 11/04/2006 14:00

Im sorry, but I would never have too many kids that meant I had to 'scavenge around the market bins at chuck-out time'.

Rach69 · 11/04/2006 14:01

Notanotter - I think I should change my name to Notarabbit! I think people are just jealous I'm still having sex! Grin

Interestingly, my elder brother and 2 sisters all left home one by one and ended up sharing a house together!

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 11/04/2006 14:01

seriously though
why is it we attract even more kids eg their mates
also feeding one or 2 more is nothing really is it
just so used to it

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 14:01

mmm - did think that bit odd!

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 11/04/2006 14:01

Mine all have their own bedrooms, we chose this house purposefully, and even so often find two or three sleeping together in apparent discomfort, because they want to Shock

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 11/04/2006 14:02

madmarchare never had to scavenge for anything
am not well off neither
just coped