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Original poster

'Too many children?'

171 replies

NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 13:11

\link{http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml;jsessionid=H2A3IIAQDL3UBQFIQMGSFFWAVCBQWIV0?xml=/health/2006/04/11/hfamily11.xml\i liked this}

I always think of 'staircase wit' comments to say to people when they criticise me for having 5 (+ ?) children - there are a couple of nice quips in here!
Average number of children in uk families 1.3 !!

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 11/04/2006 19:26

I'm going to print it and frame it, Codster Wink (wrote that "Codset" first - like a twinset, only fishier.

cod · 11/04/2006 19:27

adn just as prim

hunkermunker · 11/04/2006 19:28

CodsetAndPearls - rofl!

(There's some kind of oyster pun there, but I can't fish it out)

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 19:36

On the phone this afternoon to a friend who suggested that well ' bright' ladies should be recompensed for providing the country with lovely bright offspring.... my friend said it not me!!!!!
However ...sounds good to me and mine are lovely!
Educated women aren't having babies so some of us have to make up the numbers!

OP posts:
Rach69 · 11/04/2006 19:39

Hear hear! (I'm not a nasty eugenicist, honestly!) Imagine how top heavy our population will be in a few years. In France the state gives you £500 a month for having a third child.

Original poster
NotAnOtter · 11/04/2006 19:41

tony Blair take note!

OP posts:
fennel · 11/04/2006 20:40

but what if those of us who are reasonably bright only end up having mediocre children (Fennel offspring not currently in line for obvious scholarships). would we have to repay our financial bonus if the children didn't shape up?

morningpaper · 11/04/2006 20:49

lovely article

mumfor1standfinaltime · 11/04/2006 20:51

Where is 'dad' in the pic?

Nightynight · 11/04/2006 20:58

Ive jsut brought my 4 to Munich, which is a total nightmare. We never had any problems in north Germany, people were very friendly.
Here in Munich, when people say "you have 4 children?" they are not admiring your children.
The typical Munich family seems to consist of 1 or 2 perfectly behaved, perfectly dressed children, who stare in silent horror at the, um, social communication between my 4.

1 or 2 children is the norm here, 3 is a big family, and 4 or more seems to be seen as a slut who cant keep her legs together.Angry

I havent come across this attitude in UK, since my childhood.

I think it is because people have such small families that they can afford to buy everything for them. Ive seen schoolbags priced at 80 euros ffs. fwiw, I could afford that if it was a necessity, but hell will freeze over before I send a child of mine to school with 80 euros on their back.

Im going back to France as soon as I can afford to, but I cant help wondering what will happen in 40 years time, when the little Emperors of Germany and the familles nombreuses of France are in the European Parliament together....

Janh · 11/04/2006 21:48

Don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, but I'd love to know what her idea of a "fairly average" income is.

cod · 11/04/2006 22:05

i hje a friend form bavaria
she thinks mine are supre ( or says so)

Nightynight · 11/04/2006 23:01

Do they ever fight on trains?
mine do, and I am fed up with looks of horror and condemnation.

leogaela · 12/04/2006 08:06

yes, no mention of the dad(s) at all. Anyone know?

FioFio · 12/04/2006 08:10

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KTeePee · 12/04/2006 08:15

One good point of having lots of kids I suppose is that if they have to share bedrooms they may be more inclined to leave home at a reasonable age (was thinking of another thread where the poster had two grown up stepsons living with her who were treating her like a skivvy). Having shared a bedroom with 3 sisters it was definitely a factor in my wanting to be independent. I know high house prices have a lot to do with it but I also think smaller families where the kids have their own rooms is a factor in the growing number of young (and not so young) adults still living at home.

ggglimpopo · 12/04/2006 08:21

I was thinking about this last night. Having and coping with lots of kids also depends a lot on general circumstances - even two kids are hard if you have huge financial pressures/are in a shite marriage/are depressed or have external issues which affect you or your family.

Just because you have lots of children doesn't instantly make your household into a smiley Brady Bunch scenario where having a big family negates normal pressures - such as illness or not enough money.

I was a single parent to four. It was actually much easier than being in a bad marriage with four children, but I also realised then the huge issue that money actually is. The buck stopped at me. If I couldn't get things straight, the kids went without - and no amount of hand me downs or getting buy pays the gas/electricity/food bills.

leogaela · 12/04/2006 08:50

I think that she has no idea her 'fairly average income' implies that she really doesn't know what it means to have no money. Camping in France isn't a cheap holiday if you have no money.

FioFio · 12/04/2006 09:03

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expatinscotland · 12/04/2006 09:24

Too right, leogaela!

Bozza · 12/04/2006 09:54

Agree laegola - I work 3 days a week (DH full time) in order to be able to afford the kind of lifestyle she describes as average but we have only 2 children. We would not be affording that with 5 children. We would not be able to afford for me to work because of childcare costs for a start.

Bozza · 12/04/2006 10:01

Things like a second bathroom and a safari in Africa are out of the reach of many people with less than 5 children. We have the former but the chances of the latter are remote.

jenkel · 12/04/2006 10:31

I am an only child, mum is one of 9 and dad is one of 3, DH has a sister 12 years younger than him. I would love more kids, I have 2 very close in age and its lovely to see them play together, watching them play/interact it makes me wish that I had a sibling. Mum wanted more but complications during the birth meant that she could have no more. However, DH isnt too keen on more, his argument is that our family works well at the moment, the girls are really close, we are able to spend equal amounts of time with them, we can still afford holidays, we all fit into a car, they both have their own bedrooms. If we had another one will we be upsetting the status quo of our family. I'm sure we would cope, I'm sure the things that I listed are not that important in the big picture, but they are important to DH so I have to respect that.

blueshoes · 12/04/2006 10:51

Whether or not a person wants a big brood and whether or not a child likes being part of a big brood, depends on their personality. If you are orderly, private person, the chaos of a large brood could be quite daunting. I agree that houseprices and space constraints are a dampener on large families. If I had to sleep head to foot and live out of each others pockets, I swear I would go mad. More so than the money, is the risk of parental attention being spread too thin and the fact that the older children have to take up the slack. If a child needs their parent, they need their parent and "benign neglect" is not a option for me anyway.

I came from a family of 3 and I am not planning to exceed 2 in mine. Also, the childcare costs would pretty much mean I would have to be a SAHM to make a large family work.

I like visiting large happy families, then coming back to my relatively peaceful home.

joelalie · 12/04/2006 11:28

"Don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, but I'd love to know what her idea of a "fairly average" income is."

So would I? Funny how the use of the word 'average' differs so widely....

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