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Housekeeping

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This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

824 replies

HillsBesideTheSea · 31/12/2021 16:54

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

  1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)
  1. Goals vs system.
We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.
  1. You are never behind.
You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 30/01/2022 09:09

Morning! Yesterday turned out to be quite busy in the end.

❤️ walked to town with DH for vegetables
🧡 Usual morning house stuff
💛 Handed out clean washing
💚 3 x LOL washed and dried, including some of it on the line for the first time this year!
💙 Bullet journal set up for February (my time)
💚 Finished my reading record from 2021 (I am not 7, I just like to keep track!).
💜 Meal planning to 13 Feb
❤️ Got DH to batch cook Bolognese
🧡 Saw DS2 twice - he came to borrow a bucket and back again for the evening as his GF was babysitting locally
💛 Heard endless plans from DD for her EPQ
💚 Wrap pizza for tea
💙 Started one of my birthday books - enjoying it very much.

That, good to see you back! Swallowed I thoroughly applaud jobs that can be done from bed. Sing remember to pace yourself! Is there any chance some of your pain / illness is seasonal, do you think? I was looking through an old BuJo yesterday and realised I've been on steroids for a cough every Jan / Feb for years.

Up betimes today and going downstairs for breakfast with DH and to make A Plan.

SingToTheSky · 30/01/2022 10:06

Am pacing wassail don’t worry :o I think the season isn’t the whole cause but it’s certainly not helping - cold seems to go straight to my joints especially (but then, heat doesn’t agree with me either Hmm).

Lots to do today. Feels never ending ATM.

SingToTheSky · 30/01/2022 10:08

High priority though is self care. Not in the “women should feel like it’s a luxury” sense that we’ve ranted about earlier this month, but the basics I’ve been ignoring. So more “self non neglect” 🤣 need to trim my nails, defrost legs etc and moisturise because I look like a lizard 🤣

merryhouse · 30/01/2022 10:20

ED one step at a time! Maybe in a month or two you'll realise what needs a shelf to go on.

I have Done The Things.

Friday after I posted:
emptied out coat pockets
put Which back in magazine drawer
sent vicar feedback from Monday's Zoom meeting
half wrote up minutes from Zoom meeting
prepared veg toppings for pizza
made bed
stitched loose threads on four pillowcases and put bedding in cupboard
washed up, twice

SatTaDa
washed the mattress protectors
scrubbed a bit at stain on mattress and left in sun
ironing (darks wash and gis)
hoovered upstairs (including mattress)
re-made bed
washed up
made broccoli soup
made cake in the microwave (must remember to grease the dish next time - I didn't decant it after mixing and the bottom 2mm stuck)
had chat with S2 (reminded him to be aware of Meningitis symptoms because apparently it is ravaging students... well, for MN values of ravaging anyway)
!!!!!Read a Book!!!!!! - Go Set A Watchman, at bloody last. Oh My.

ToDo
finish minutes
make bed again ffs
stitch fastenings on gi jackets
write a review of GSAW for the 50 books thread

merryhouse · 30/01/2022 10:31

We haven't been dreadfully affected by the storm - which has apparently left parts of the NE without power, again - but H is about to go out and fix the middle window in the shed and discover what's been blown about in there...

and enclosed is what greeted us on the way to ringing this morning (which went pretty well, I think, though only 5 of us). Someone had already trimmed off the flicky bits that were in the way of the door.

merryhouse · 30/01/2022 10:34

Oh, well I tried to upload a picture but it didn't like it. Sorry. Tree broken.

merryhouse · 30/01/2022 10:35

Try again?

StillUp · 30/01/2022 10:41

I realised not long after I posted that it is indeed a spoof Sing. It’s a bit of a weird one. I’m not sure they’ve totally hit the spoof balance. It’s not completely obvious - as it’s quite dark it just comes across a bit silly, but not quite silly enough for a spoof. I did start to enjoy it more once I realised I wasn’t supposed to take it seriously. I’ll stick with it because I do want to know what happens and I’m already 4 episodes in

I’d definitely struggle to get much done after a few long meetings, but on the days where it’s just checking emails etc would it work to put that off until mid afternoon? So you can be productive in the morning then if you hit a wall after a bit of work it doesn’t matter so much.

Fly my telescopic bathroom corner shelf that is the answer to all the mess in the bathroom is still in its box over a week on too.

I find a bathroom cleaning product basket helpful ED. I definitely clean a little bit more when the stuff is to hand upstairs.

Hi That 👋. Hope all is well. You were so right about zip up babygros. Genius.

I also spent a fair amount of time watching the storm Lady. I think our newly repaired roof survived this one although neither of us have braved going out to properly check yet.

Where do all the random nuts and bolts and plugs etc come from Tidy?! They just seem to breed.

Ta Das this morning:
⭐️ DW set off from last night
⭐️ Cooked breakfast
⭐️ browsed beautiful stationary websites that keep being advertised to me on Facebook. Resisted so far
⭐️ weighed in - 2lb down 🙌🏻
⭐️ ordered a Sunday lunch delivery because there was not much sleep happening for any of us last night. Went for a small and no pud Halo

StillUp · 30/01/2022 10:44

Our lights have been flickering this morning Merry but fingers crossed no loss of power. I see some have been without overnight again Sad. Hope the shed damage is minimal.

SingToTheSky · 30/01/2022 11:02

Telescopic bathroom shelf? What is this witchcraft?

I’ve gathered a bit more recycling while DS and Cagletini are building a brachiosaurus.

Having a set time to do stuff like emails is a good idea. The good thing is none of us are expected to be constantly available - the boss (being a parent carer like the rest of us) is adamant that we maintain boundaries etc. Some of my colleagues have set days they never work.

One thing I do want to do, in the interest of habit stacking, is build up the association of doing SOMETHING productive for myself at the same time as setting DS up with some home ed stuff in the morning. Checking email seems to work well (our timesheets are in chunks of 15min so some days it’s just been that if nothing has come in) but I need to have a time later in the day for doing more I think.

swallowedAfly · 30/01/2022 11:22

Morning all.

Just doing quick jobs today so far eg. if I'm going downstairs I make myself remember to take stuff downstairs to throw away/put away etc and coming upstairs I bring at least a few clean clothes to put away from the laundry mountain.

Other than that the dog's been out and animals fed, I've done more of my training course and a grocery order (from bed) and dealt with some emails.

I've done nothing about my returns and think I'm right on the cusp of ending up not being able to get a refund if I'm not careful yet can't seem to get myself to deal with them. Not driving is a real pain sometimes. Does anyone with ADHD here drive but really struggle to get their license?

SingToTheSky · 30/01/2022 12:18

I have never driven. Even with meds it takes so little to completely break my focus - the amount of disasters I seem to cause at home, caused by this, is bad enough (burns etc), but the thought of the potentially catastrophic results if I had the same while driving is enough to put me off. I do have dizziness issues as well though which don’t help as it can cause fuzzy vision, and I tend to use that as the reason rather than the ADHD because stigma 🙄

However I do know plenty of people with ADHD who drive perfectly well, some who did struggle to get their licence. If you want to try then you should, have you had lessons before?

I have done some reading, and now I’m going to have lunch before trying to get on with something - not actually sure what, so I may be back with a power of three later!

ExtremelyDetermined · 30/01/2022 13:09

Driving lessons are extremely hard to come by here ATM, I am trying to find some for DS to no avail. I think he might struggle with a manual TBH but he is a proper little back seat driver so might be OK on road usage.

swallowedAfly · 30/01/2022 13:20

I find it extremely overwhelming and hate it. I have had lessons several times before and worked hard at it but they're incredibly expensive and I hate it and I'm 46. I still get hassle about it - why don't you get your drivers license, life would be so much easier etc but I can't do it.

Oddly I've had periods of owning and riding scooters and mopeds which I don't find so hectic and don't have this weird feeling of not being able to see or process everything at once that I get in a car.

I already have money set aside in an account for ds's driving lessons. I feel like I would have done better learning straight away as a kid when I was more confident and less anxious in some ways and I really want him to have that.

It's very difficult to explain to people how much sensory overload I experience driving. I feel bombarded.

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 30/01/2022 13:45

DH and DS2 both find driving feeds their ADHD need for constant input. DD and DS1, however, find it overwhelming. DS1 had lessons, failed one test and has stopped because you don't need a car in a university city. DD has had one lesson, found it unbelievably awful and has stopped for now.

StillUp · 30/01/2022 14:19

Have you tried learning in an automatic Fly? One less thing to think about at least. I didn’t learn until I was pushing 30 and wished I’d done it sooner as I was really anxious. I have no idea what it is about returns that makes us all procrastinate over them but I’ve sailed close to running out of time loads of times. If you think about it it’s a really simple thing to do but it feels like such a hurdle. There’s nearly always a bag waiting to be taped up and taken to the post office on my bedroom drawers that’s been there for days. Then I eventually summon the energy and I realise it takes 10 seconds to do the paperwork, 30 seconds to tape it up and 5 seconds to hand it to DH who goes to the post office most days anyway 2 minutes to pop into the post office that I pass on the school run. Yet there’s been countless seconds of angst about it.

Ta Das:
⭐️ extracted self from under baby and stood up
⭐️ showered and dressed
⭐️ went out for a family walk to blow away the cobwebs. Timed it perfectly as it was glorious sunshine but clouded over as soon as we got home
⭐️ Assessed roof - looks to have survived
⭐️ hung up the LOL DH set off
⭐️ inhaled Sunday lunch Smile

HillsBesideTheSea · 30/01/2022 16:17

I like driving it helps me to think and I love a good long road trip. But i find the same thing about walking and training. My body is doing a think, my concious is focused on that task. So my sub-concious can just get on with resolving things.

All hell has broken out here. Apparently people are struggling with the return to a more normal life where people actually leave. the. house. And apparently i am going to be murdered every time i leave the house. I mean I lost track of time and wasn't home to feed them tea, but seriously

OP posts:
BeanAnTae · 30/01/2022 16:23

Ach sorry people are being exceptionally peopley Hills . Thank you kindly for leading the thread for January. We have power cuts here so I am putting the new thread up so people can land and say hello and placemark but it starts on 1 February.

Feb thread

BeanAnTae · 30/01/2022 16:26

I do still have a roof and I'm glad Still does too! But more wind is due tomorrow so I've taken the liberty of getting the Feb thread started in case I don't have power for my computer to type on Monday!

BeanAnTae · 30/01/2022 17:37

I've never driven. Endless rows between my parents over Mum learning to drive. Car proud father. Was paying uni fees for BA and postgrad so hadn't the money. Lived in a city. Then was saving for a house deposit. Just never happened.

HazelNuttyElf · 30/01/2022 17:37

Saturday
To Dos:
🥶 drink my 2nd cup of coffee (need to make sure no one dies today!)
🥶 meal plan for the week
🥶 grocery shopping list
🥶 place grocery pick up order for this afternoon
🥶 put post on fb with treats I'm making for Valentine's Day
🥶 finish the milk chocolate orange truffles that are still in the freezer, partially made at Christmastime will do another time
🥶 possibly make caramels as well
🥶 look on Amazon for treat bowls/ dishes to put the goodies in & hope I'm not too late ordering something 🤞
🥶 take the Jeep over to get washed at the carwash as my windows are really bad and everything is frozen (but the carwash is still up & running)
🥶 pick up grocery pick up order

A few things I haven't got done yet, but I do have other ta das:
💐 Skyped my mum
💐 took a shower, including defrosting legs & washing my hair
💐 got dressed

We went to ILs last night so a night off from cooking & cleaning up! We did stay later than I wanted to though.

Ta Das so far today (10:35am):
🍳 cooked DH breakfast for the week
🍳 got dinner in slow cooker for tonight
🍳 Skyped mum
🍳 rotated DW
🍳 wiped down countertops
🍳 working on drinking my 2nd cup of coffee

I still need to take a shower & get dressed. I have to work today at my 2nd job.
I also need to wash the handwash dishes, there's not much there so shouldn't take me long.

BeanAnTae · 30/01/2022 17:40

Well done Hazelnutty. I'm about to do my online shop now.

HazelNuttyElf · 30/01/2022 17:43

Oh, I did add a bowl full of individually wrapped caramels to the naughty corner, along with extra blankets because it's freezing here (below freezing)

Sorry to hear of storm damage again, although it sounds like no missing roofs this time, which is very good news! Not good about possible power cuts though 😕

Thank you Bean for volunteering for February thread!
Sorry people are being so difficult hills

HillsBesideTheSea · 30/01/2022 18:19

Thank you for the new thread Bean!

OP posts:
BeanAnTae · 30/01/2022 18:23

Throws in Salted Caramel Hot chocolate Grin

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