This New Year, The Fledglings are Flying a new approach

[HillsBesideTheSea]

Hello and welcome to new and old.

If you are new around here. Hi, introduce yourself around the fire pit in the naughty corner where we are all sitting comfortably. The naughty corner is decked out with comfy, and snacks, and a place just to have a chat when things haven't gone to plan. We are a very long running thread but do love new blood stopping by to join us.

Welcome to those who are returning.

We had a chat on the previous thread about possibly trying a new twist on the fly lady system. We all know that the fly lady system is good for establishing routines when we follow it. But we also know that sometimes we need a quick hit of a big declutter. And that life has a habit of throwing curve balls making it very difficult to stay on track.

So this is the plan. Each evening I will post the babystep, a thought point and the flylady daily focuses. We are not giving up on the fly lady system but just bringing it into line with the individuality of our lives, and trying to resolve some of the issues that comes from being the family brain, trying to do all the things and generally having modern busy lives. The thought point is to try to get you to think differently. And may require a click on a link (video), a discussion on the thread, or just you considering things. I do not promise it will make you feel better, or magically change your house straight away. But hopefully it will help with the overall flow and approach. And may just tweak the twee out of the fly lady system to the point where it is now your system.

But before you entirely regret your choices in letting my try this craziness we are going to start with some key basics that I really do think has been incorporated well into the Flylady system.

1. the mess, disorder and chaos did not happen over night. Give yourself the grace and time to fix it. (also known as roman weren't built in a day so don't kill yourself trying to get your house immaculate in a day)

1. Goals vs system.

We will go into this a little more shortly but to start, the fly lady system has an end goal - a house which is tidy and clean that comes second nature. It achieves it by building habits and routines that make the steps needed to achieve that goal second nature. There is a lot of research that says goals don't work, systems do. And systems are built on the formation of habits.

1. You are never behind.

You might not be making the progress you would like, you may have taken a break. But you are not behind. So again, give yourself a break and drop the guilt. There is probably a reason why you have taken a break - illness, other demands on time, mental health etc etc. And yes some days it is an effort to make sure that everyone is fed and ok. But that is ok, so give yourself grace that on that day that was exactly what was needed and thus you succeeded in the essential goal of the day. guilt is just going to make things harder than it needs to be. It is ok not to feel guilty if you did not do all the things.

I will be back later with links for tomo. I am posting them in the evening the night before because some of us are morning people, and some of us are night people. And this way everyone will be able to see prior to when they need to consider it.

Come park your broom in the new thread for a little while and have a natter whilst we wait to bring in the New year.

Well done Swallowedafly I know from personal experience that it always has to go through a horrible bit, before it gets better, you are doing really well

Forgot to wish prettygirlincrimsonrose, a very warm welcome!

So sorry you are still in pain but glad test results are good RedSquirrel

Good advice about photos ED

Good luck with meeting Sing

Congrats on "your really good day' LadyRattles bravo!

Thinking of you re: hospice visit Wassail I have been through the same situation not so long ago, and I know how heart-breaking it is, and how difficult it is to find right balance between listening first and firemost, being there for your friend, being positive and supportive, while being "real" and not Polly-anna-ish, and finding the right things to say depending on how strong or positive the patient is feeling, or not. And whether they want to address situation or not. Sometimes just sitting there with some knitting or a book while they doze is good. I am so glad that Covid isn't restricting visits for you and your friend though

Waves to Hills Frankie Merry That Hazel Foxes Stillup and many others I have missed!

Momentous (bitter sweet) day today! Dd exams are over (phew!) and we are supposedly having a week's holiday here to make up for our working Christmas. But first we are helping dd to move out (or we will be if dh ever gets off the phone). Furniture has already been delivered and assembled. Heating engineer has been and gone. We are heading over with food supplies, clothing and boxes of text books. As Bob Dylan said, "the times they are a changin'" .

Take care everyone! I am heading off back in to the ether for a bit now. But it's been really lovely to be with you all over the Christmas period! Thanks for allowing me to vent on here and t's been great catching up with all of your news! Happy Flying everyone! And good luck to all newcomers! XXX

So I got most everything done. Ended up just sweeping and spot cleaning hard floors and vacuuming living room rug as deemed I didn't have time to vacuum and mop and floors be dry. I've not really sorted clutter or done things properly but at least made things more presentable itms. I've also listed a side table I don't use that has been cluttering place for ages on a local giving page.

Groomers are running late so waiting on them. Have put yappy dog in crate in preparation and have kept cat in all morning to be sure she doesn't disappear.

In that can't relax or really start something productive state now because waiting on them arriving.

After they've gone my major to do's are:
-go to chemist and pick up prescription which doubles as take a walk which is on my daily list now
-mark a set of ks4 essays.

I'm sorry Wassailing - I missed you having someone in a hospice - I'm sorry and hope visit goes ok.

Well done fly that’s great progress. Totally know what you mean about not being able to do anything productive while waiting! Sorry you’ve suffered from the jabs too. 💐

I had a long meeting (didn’t have one last week and a huge amount has happened since) and haven’t done anything since then except sending some homework questions to the pupil I’m not seeing at 2. Not feeling quite as dire as last night, but really need the rest so glad I cancelled yesterday.

Fly you’ve done loads today! Well done! It’s amazing what you can achieve under the threat of someone coming to your house isn’t it. Don’t beat yourself up for that, I think it’s normal.

🙌🏻 for exams being over SC. Hope you all manage to enjoy your very well deserved week off.

Hope the hospice visit goes/has gone ok Wassailing and you’ve managed to enjoy each other’s company as much as you can under the circumstances .

Pretty don’t be too disheartened by a not great day. The supermarket trip still counts as a ta da even if the donation banks were closed - you put the effort in 👏

Red glad results were all fine although it doesn’t help get to the bottom of and sort your pain.

Sing ignoring the school run, which is a ten minute walk, I have only left the house 3 times this year. Part of me has enjoyed just chilling at home but it gets a bit too easy to just stay there doesn’t it. We’ve got into the habit of very lazy weekends and while I think that’s ok now and then when you need it I do want to get back in the habit of being out and about, more active and more fun. We’ll have to nudge each other.

I can also relate to some of the ADHD stuff, but like you ED I score quite low on the questionnaires. I’d say I have some traits but I wonder whether mine are more ‘acquired’ due to busyness, phone use etc. I’m a terrible instant/late night googler too. I have a notepad by my bed to write down my random middle of the night thoughts and it does help.

Can’t scroll back for the rest of the personals but 👋 to the rest of you lovely lot.

My ta das:
⭐️ Morning routine
⭐️ almost finished clearing dining table - just a pile of DH’s crap for him to shift and a small pile of DD1’s artwork from school to sort mostly bin
⭐️ cleared coffee table including sorting some paperwork
⭐️ ordered thank you cards and some craft supplies - card, glue etc
⭐️ added some dates and tasks to planner
⭐️ took delivery of new storage, did a happy dance and distributed everything to the relevant rooms
⭐️ cleared a bit more of utility bench. Almost sorted in there now. Used two new baskets for “to charity shop” and “for clothes bank”. So now those things can sit there for a year and as long as the baskets aren’t overflowing it looks tidy.
⭐️ Tidied one shelf of a kitchen cupboard including adding one of the new ‘hang from shelf above’ wire baskets to increase room. Looks so much better and everything is more accessible.
⭐️ decluttered and wiped out bottom half of larder. Have some baskets and shelves to add in there too.
⭐️ turned a compete blind eye to the mess upstairs, but did get DD1 to tidy her room a bit.
⭐️ had a cuppa with my DM, lots of baby snuggles and played some games with DD1.

Just popping back quickly.
Went out briefly to buy birthday present and found text message when I got back GP says good news re tests but is booking a scan. Told you he was good. He will get to bottom of it. He is like that.😀Will call in later as invited to birthday meal couldn’t have gone yesterday but I have been a lot better today. I am going to start writing a food \pain diary. IBS?

Have done most of the ironing Mountain.✅😁

Well done Still

For once it was work that had to take the back seat rather than the house. I did do planning and emails etc but have not marked the set of assessments I need for tomorrow. I may try in the morning but I have to be in by 10 so not all that likely. In reality I see the group again on Friday so we can always do the feedback and improvement work then instead. Tough luck really - I put it first all the time usually.

I've been keeping up putting anything used in the dw as I use it and trying to get ds to do the same. Kitchen looks so much better when you do that rather than end up with piles. Will take a lot of nagging for it to become a habit for ds though.

I find that app I've downloaded really helpful however it's only been a day so let's see if it stands the test of time or just gets turned off and ignored.

Can relate to the not going out - other than to work 3 days a week I've virtually not left the house since New Year's Day. January is hard going though even when fighting fit.

Great news about the GP being on top of things Red. Up that's a huge amount done, but I understand the excitement of new storage!

SwallowedAfly really pleased some of your new systems are slowly working.

Today has been really, really hard. It was lovely to see my darling friend and she is being cared for with as much grace, dignity and kindness as they can muster, but this can only go one way. We talked about all sorts of things - almost like over coffee in years past - and looked at photographs and it was generally lovely until I had to leave. I won't see her again, as she needs the time now to see her husband and children, and I am so, so sad. 35 years is an awfully long time to be friends. We met on the first day of secondary school when we both signed up for Junior Choir and clarinet lessons at the same time. We did puberty and exams and boyfriends and Uni and first jobs and husbands and babies and driving tests and buying houses and all sorts together (though not always at the same time!) and I cannot fathom how she can not be there to do the next bits.

I was in a bit of a state when I left and a total stranger at the hospice, who was there with her mum, gave me hug. People are still good.

I am in the bath with a chocolate orange and declaring today over.

So much love to you and yours willow I’m glad you had a hug. It is wonderful that you have found some good in people today despite it being such an awful situation. It is definitely a day for chocolate. Do whatever you need to get through this. There is no wrong way to feel 💐

Wassailing ohh your post makes me desperately sad for you both. I'm so sorry, but also so glad you got to spend the time together and experienced some kindness of strangers too.

I'm still poorly and on day 6 of illness and day 6 of zero help with childcare (back in school tomorrow thank heavens!) so I'm feeling terrible. Today was spent surviving soft play but I did manage to wash the big bin. Which reminds me - did I turn off the hose pipe 😰 and now will have to go down and check 😭 I wonder what life's like for people with a good memory ☹️

The hose was off. Honestly I waste so much time because I'm so forgetful! Almost always I've done whatever it is I think I've forgotten but I can't rest until I've checked

So.. as well as washing out the bin which I've wanted to do for weeks, I also filled a carrier bag for charity too. I find it easier to just get a carrier and walk around putting stuff in til it's full, then in the car it goes til the next charity shop drop off.

Wassailing what an immensely hard day you have had, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend

Ta Da

went into the city centre today and I finally got somewhere trying to open DS a bank account. Such a nightmare as they don't take college ID and DS passport had run out. It's been two months of hassle so I'm glad it's finally sorted.
I vacuumed a mountain of cat litter on the landing... thanks cat.
sorted out a kitchen cupboard and made room for the soup machine so it's no longer counter clutter.
filed some paperwork

I am so very sorry Wassail xx

Thanks all. Feeling very detached today, did not sleep effectively. Up at 5.30, so already flattened.

Frankie I'm so sorry you're still unwell. Are you not in the UK if the kids are only back to school today?

Ladyrattles glad you sorted the banking conundrum.

Quiet day today. I have some sewing to do for my friend that I want to get on with. I have a phone call at ten, some work to do that will allow me to hide in another century and to take DS3 to tennis at 5. That will fill the day enough.

Take it easy wassail - bare minimum to get through this time is really ok. 💐

Long day ahead here. Helping facilitate probably our biggest (at least, most complicated) event, so will be online for several hours, but thankfully I just have to be present rather than speaking etc for most of it - might see if I can do a little decluttering or something while I’m not needed, as I’m stuck in the bedroom anyway (Cagletini is off nursery today with tummy ache so I won’t commandeer the living room). Hopefully taking DS to a friend’s house later and dropping off a load of rag bags for recycling too, which will free up much needed space in the cupboard!

Definitely take it easy on yourself today Wassailing

Good luck Sing!

Exciting day of feeding LittleUp and organising new storage on the cards for me today. Think I’ll start with the larder and under the sink still ignoring upstairs chaos

So far I’ve done the school run, had breakfast, done s&s 1 of 2 and hung up some laundry.

Wassailing** yes I'm in U.K. but covid and financial issues meant trouble with childcare 🤦‍♀️ back in today though thank goodness so I'm trying to get all my jobs done so I can have a nap rest before pick up.
Please take it easy today, I'm sure you're feeling emotionally exhausted which is totally understandable so you need to be extra kind to yourself today.

All my baseline jobs done so far plus two lots of bundles sorted through and listed for sale, so that mountain is now slightly smaller in my room. Was hoping to section the rest of the mountain before dinner but no joy there! Plus two parcels received at different times so been up and down the stairs like a yo-yo 🙈. Upside is that one parcel is my heated throw 🥳 which I'm so excited about and will be getting under for my nap rest 🥰.

Logged off after 5 hours! Although not counting all of it as I was AFK sometimes. All very good. Need to get changed before friend picks me and DS up - I’ve been in my work shirt and pj trousers 😳🤣

Then I need to get the bin bags full of old clothes for recycling, as we are dropping them off before going to another friend’s for a bit.

Bless you wassailing - I'm so sorry.

I did manage to get the set of essays marked this morning plus a fair few small jobs around house. App is helping. Too tired to do a ta da list but fairly pleased.

Rushed home from work for 5 so as not to miss groceries and really annoyed to find tesco had cancelled my delivery with no reason given at all. Have had to order takeaway and there is no alcohol in the house

Also freezing.

Meeting friend for lunch tomorrow for the first time in ages which will be nice.

Just trying to get warm now.

Sorry about your friend wassilling

also sorry for not being about. Life is... yeah. When you are in the middle of changing all the things at once, it sometimes overtakes you a little in the process.

So today i caved and bought coloured post-it notes and will be setting up a Kanban board for the rest of the week. Not the best system but i need a system atm as I am getting overwhelmed waaay to easily.

Ds de-registered from school so it is official. Was in 2 meetings at the same time tonight which made my brain hurt. Need to be up and running errands first thing tomo before the next round of meetings

So tonight i am going to get tea, sort the people and go for a walk. Because too much stress = not functioning/sleeping properly.
And i need to find my torch because apparently i have lost it and that makes walking in the dark a pita!

Wow big step for DS there hills what’s next for him?

I can’t bloody believe it, all I’ve done is visit a friend, with a brief drop off at the charity shop and popping into the Co-op on the way (in friend’s car so really not a lot of walking). Sat chatting (and meeting various pets) in friend’s house for a few hours before coming home in the car. That’s it. And now I feel like I’ve walked miles. Carrying heavy bags.

Whatever this stupid flare up or jab reaction or whatever is it can fuck off now please.

Very much done with the day. DD1 really needs to do a few maths questions but other than that I have zero expectations.

Sorted out the airing cupboard to make room for the vacuum (yay I finally found a space for it) but that led me to realise I needed a better container for the flannels. Next I sorted out my bedside area and realised a container in that would be good too. So we ended up going to ikea after DH finished work. It was a good trip. Got everything we needed but also came back with a giant Yucca plant, several bristle door mats for our naughty carpet digging cat, and finally got the cushions I've been after... loads of beautiful plain colours that all the kiddos approve of.

Red I'm glad your doctor is still trying to figure out what is going on. As you mentioned, it might be worth keeping a food diary, along with tracking symptoms. You might be into something there. I know that I feel better when I avoid gluten, but I feel my best when eating LCHF, which is what I just started doing again, strict, using myfitnesspal to track everything.

wassailing 💐 for you, it sounds like you have some great memories with your friend.

YesTaDas:
🥶 washed bedding, dried and remade the bed
🥶 cleaned both bathrooms
🥶 rotated DW
🥶 handwashed dishes
🥶 4 other LOLs, including dog beds & blankets
🥶 took dog to groomer to get anal glands expressed, yet again. Having to change it to every 3 weeks, instead of 6, hers are bad apparently 🤮
🥶 gave dog a bath
🥶 removed sliver from under my nail, it got in there Friday, but I could not get it out
🥶 relaxed on the couch for a few hours in the afternoon, really enjoyed my day off

No ta das today, DC did a lol, DD tidied up the living room, DC rotated DW, I just added to it after we had dinner of leftovers. I did take a short nap in the couch tonight, but I'm still tired so shouldn't have problems falling asleep.

I'm about to go take a shower, get my clothes out for tomorrow, maybe fit some yoga in before I go to bed. It's almost 10pm, so not sure if that's all possible while getting to bed at a decent time.
🍒👋 to everyone and welcome to the newbies

Oh, and it's freezing here! Right now it's -8°C, feels like -14°C, yes it's nighttime now, but it wasn't much warmer all day today, I'm ready for a little bit warmer weather already, and we still have over a month of winter left 🥶